Need advice.....Are thought processes rational?

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1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/23/2006 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
My ex has once again lied to my son.  He was supposed to visit my son today......told my son yesterday morning that he was driving up early this morning.  He has not seen my son for 6 months.......My fault because I moved away from him to avoid the constant conflict and abuse. 
 
He called last night and said he would rather vist my son on New Years. (I told him a month ago that we would be going to Georgia to visit my family during this time.)  He proceeds to tell me "for once put your son first"........ and begins an abusive tirade.  I hung up.  I am afraid the crux of the matter was that I would not let him stay in my house....he told me to go buy a mattress for him.....he was telling me the what he was going to do to me (sexual). 
 
I am doubting myself again. ( I divorced him because of  abuse..mental/verbal, sexual and physical).
My family members live very far apart (my brother in Thailand, for example). Christmas is the only time that everyone is able to get together.  My little one is extremely excited about seeing them.
 
My son is the most important thing in the world to me.   Am I being selfish?  Am I putting myself first for not changing our plans?
 
Please tell me what you think.........this is a major set back for me....I am in major self doubt mode....I feel like I am slipping......are my thoughts rational?
 
 

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/23/2006 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Your thoughts are very rational. This is not a good person. Making your child see this person would harm both of you. Your ex appears to be a controlling, manipulative person who is used to getting his way. You did the right thing by moving away and this current behavior only underscores that decision. Hold your ground! He is the one who goofed up the plans! You follow through with your original ideas and let him figure out what to do.

If he was all fired up to see his son he certainly wouldn't be planning how to abuse you! He'd be talking about how much fun he was going to have seeing his child. Also, a motel room for him when he is in town would be the next best new rule. And no unsupervised time with the child... Sounds like he'd do anything to cause a problem.

Hang tough, girlfriend!
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/23/2006 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks do much Jeannie! God Bless

Levonne

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


smiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 12/23/2006 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Levonne ,

You are TOTALLY rational. Do not let this person back into your life - bluntly , your child will be better off never seeing him again. nono

I have been through the same thing as you have and I know the longer you keep contact with him , the worse you will make your life , and the harder it will become to be rational as our brain tunes to he is always right mode - as you say , you are doubting yourself now , so you need to step away and leave well alone before he traps you again.

Sorry to be so blunt , but that's the way it happened to me - puppet on a string.

Take care of your self and your child hun ,

My thoughts are with you ,

Smiler tongue


Bipolar Moderator
 
DX : Bipolar , Panic Disorder , GAD , OCD.
 
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1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/23/2006 2:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Smiler.....I deeply appreciate your honesty and your words of encouragement.

God Bless and Merry Christmas

Levonne

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today

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