Helping with depression

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/24/2006 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, I am at a bit of a loss. Maybe I can get some fresh ideas or direction from some of the members.
My wife has a past history of depression and anxiety, she had been to therapy for some time prior to us marrying and since then has stoped it. Recently I am noticing mood swings and signs of depression. I suggested she return to therapy and she has refused. Things have gotten worse since she came back from a trip home. I am in the medical field and am propably handling the situation from a more clinical approach than from an emotional. I've been very empathic and aknowledged her current condition and feelings, to no avail. I am at a loss because I am starting to get mad, at the fact that she is not making the slightest effort to get over this... what now??? 

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/24/2006 3:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I would think that you being in the field would find it harder that she is not accepting what you say BUT you need to remember you are her hubby first
I know you mean well but maybe take a step back for a bit and see what heappens shemight just finally come to you ya know
We have a Anxiety /Panic forum as well: will she come to us do you think here or in that forum ??
I wish your wife all the best and kudos to you trying to help
It will only make it worse though IMO to get angry but thats my opinion
Take care and
God Bless
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/25/2006 1:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Santiago, please be patient with her. Depression is an insidious little guy. I am just coming out of another bad spell. I am normally a positive, upbeat, encouraging gal but when I'm depressed I lose that person. I fight for her but the big black cloud just follows me around. All I can say is that she is not in her right mind. With that said, however, she must get help and you do need to be persistent in a gentle way. A depressed person will feel worse when they can't live up to someone's expectations. Since you definitely don't want that, why not read up on depression and I'm sure that their might even be some sites that address how to deal with a loved one who is depressed. Has you wife ever been depressed before? Has she ever seen a therapist? Has she ever taken anti-depressants? If she has, then it will easier for you to encourage her. Sometimes the people who know us best recognize the disease before we do. I admire you for wanting to come on here and learn.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 12/25/2006 3:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Santiago
When I am running low like your wife is just's the hardest hing in the world to take advice from your nearest and dearest...somehow we have to recognise our problem and deal with it best we can..which as you know is very frustrating lol.
I see you mention that the problem has become worse since the trip home..could she just be missing family and friends or homesick?etc. Is it possible they could come visit you in the near future?
Something to look forward to always helps perhaps you could plan an event together :))
Perhaps you could talk about how she got thru the last time she was depressed..can she remember the skills she learned from therapy..has she got any self help books that she used etc. was she given meds last time to get her thru the rough patch?
Reminders of positive outcomes could help her to seek help once again
Anyow, let us know how she gets on.
Take good care of you and yours.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/25/2006 11:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Santiago,

I am sorry you and your wife are hurting.

I noted that your wife was worse after a trip home. Is there a chance she may have suffered abuse? Along with depression, I have PTSD ........Things I have repressed for 40 years are now surfacing. These memories have caused my worst bout of depression resulting in my hospitalization.

Please let me know if I can help in any way.

God Bless,


Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today

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