Warren, I can see where you would say that divorce is like death...I went through a nasty one myself two years ago. From reading all these posts though there is one common thing and that is that everyone who does go through a divorce deals with it differently and in their own way. It is the hardest and emotionally shattering thing to go through but it can also be a positive step for a lot of people too. My relationship with my husband was not healthy for me physically or mentally...did I want to get divorced? No, but I couldn’t take it anymore and left our home which resulted in him filing for divorce. It was the best thing that ever could of happened. I am free now and for the first time ever I can do what I want to do and that is such a good feeling.
Also, these feelings that people do have when going through a divorce and afterwards are very personal...and hurtful. Shy was only stating in her post how the effects of having pets have helped her mother after her divorce. We don’t know if there is something more going on there and should not assume otherwise. I would say if she hasn’t moved on after 10 years then she is holding some serious resentment towards men in general and has been abused in some fashion. Who knows maybe she is just really lonely. But it isn’t up to Shy to take the first step and push her mother to get better...It is up to herself and hopefully when she is ready (if she ever gets to that point) then she will get help.
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
in chinese trigrams used for interpreting the i ching, there is a symbol that indicates danger and that also indicated opportunity. i personally don't believe that death is final - and i don't mean living with jesus in a mansion with many rooms. i the jeweish tradition, we are immortal so long as we are remembered. because one can never speak ill of ther dead - even though the decedent may have a nasdty selfish sod - it is imcombant onevery believing jew to do good works and in so doing to help to make this planet suitable for the mesdsiah or messionic age. this is your immortality and it was this immoprtality that the ****s denied the jews in the death camps. it is a sort of final death.
with every change there are many possibilities. you invoked carpe diem and have capitalized on your strengths. as i may have mentioned earlier in this thread, my ex-wife got stuck in anger and hurt and it distroyed her. pity. you and she should have been able to get together in 2970/71 and discussed possibilitied. i belive that you both could have learned a lt from that ficticious exchange.
i am proud of you to have not caught up in teh crap of a divorce and used it as a sprinboard to carry you forward to new opportunitiedsand new heights that you would never have considered possible inyour previous state. well done! you are an inspiration to every man womanand child who undergoes the trauma of divorce. you did good, girl!
Thats exactly it warren...what you said it hit me in your advice to the others I am grieving for my husband and marriage...Thats why the pain in my gut is so bad and inescapable
I wish everyone much love...and I understand I already know it will just be me and my young son and possibly my grown son.Cause it will be forever before I could even think of someone...
Hi worrywart, I am sorry for how your feeling...I know it is most terrible. 23 to me seems so young to be thinking of being married and having kids...of course I am 33 divorced and have no kids so dont take me as an example or anything like that. Anyway, my point is that you are very lucky to have gotten out of that abusive relationship. You have a lot of time left in your life believe it or not to figure out what you want to do, become, or even be with. When you get out of a relationship like that it is hard to see beyond the first minute to come but eventually you will get there and your self confidence will return as he sounds like the jerk and the one who had the problem not you. You will move on with your life, but I am sure he will find it difficult to move on with his.
Give some of your old friends a call...I am sure they would love to hear from you. Especially since you ditched the bonehead.