How did your parents cope with you??

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eliz2f
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/29/2006 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Please tell me what your parents did when you continued to use bad judgement after years of meds and therapy. Let you go? Continue to support your actions? Have an intervention and tell YOU how you effect them?  And did it do any good? What were you feeling that made you oppose them and continue doing what you knew was destructive? What was the end result?? 

eliz2f
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/30/2006 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Warren, I am so sorry you are still dealing with your feelings. I understand. I am older by far but I know that feelings from childhood stay around forever. I have lost my son, age 34, my husband, father and mother.
I feel my daughter was depressed as a young woman but we assumed it was just growing up pains.
When she began her irrational activities we again made excuses for her behavior and supported her family thru all of this. After years of meds and DR's she is still the same only now she is living with me. The plans we made together for her future she continues to sabatoge! So I only have limited options on dealing with her. Let her continue? Take over? This is the question and why I have asked to hear from other parents who have dealt with this problem. Thank you for responding and I wish you the best.

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 12/30/2006 1:34 PM (GMT -7)   
erliz and anyone else who may have read my deleted post,
 
sorry, i let my mental illness out for a run.  i sincerely appologise for my actions and for anything it may have trighgered in you.  i had back surgery a few days ago and my pain level on a scale of 1 to 10 is at about an 11.  the pain pills i was prescribed aren't working.  yes,  i am angry with the world right now.  this, too, shall pass.
 
by the way, i am 60 yrs old and, yes, the childhood abuse still hangs on.  usually it's sound is so faint i can't hear it and concentrae on the more beautiful things in life and in the world.
 
again, i was out of line and offer my sincere appologies.
 
warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.


eliz2f
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/30/2006 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Warren hugs and all that. I also had my back broken, had to have a spinal cord stimulator buried in my butt with leads running along my spinal cord to change the pain patterns. Now 8 years later I had to have all that removed because you cannot have an MRI with one inside you as the magnetic field in the MRI would melt the leads inside you. Now that part is over and I had a total knee op July. Plus I am 69 and my troubled daughter has to live with me. I have seen where you post regularly on this boardand have probably helped many people. I do hope that some people that read this to you will read my posts and answer my questions. You are the only one that answered anything! so I thank you.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 12/31/2006 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
eliz2f said...
Please tell me what your parents did when you continued to use bad judgement after years of meds and therapy. Let you go? Continue to support your actions? Have an intervention and tell YOU how you effect them?  And did it do any good? What were you feeling that made you oppose them and continue doing what you knew was destructive? What was the end result?? 
Hi eliz, I can see that your daughters destructive behavior is have some very negative effects on you, how could it not.  It is difficult to post a reply when you dont know the dynamics of the family of your daughters diagnosis in specific.  I have had depression, anxiety/panic disorder and PTSD for many years due to childhood sexual and physical abuse yet I dont exibit eratic behavior or use bad judgement as you have posted re your daughter.  This is why I wonder if there is something more to her diagnosis then just depression.  Either way, it does sound as if you have become a sort of enabler for her and until you start to put up boundries her behavoirs are going to continue.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


eliz2f
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/31/2006 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Thnx for the response. I am just stuck as all the help and venues have allredy been tried. She has messed them all up by her behavior. Now she is unhappy here because I have had to take a stand.
Yes, I know I have enabled her in the past by loving her regardless, supporting what she has done to make her happy only to have it backfire. Now we are at the point where she has indebted herself and me to where neither of us can do anything except live this miserable life of helplessness. I can't kick her out..........there is nowhere else she can go. They will not provide for her as she has family. She is on 11 meds, depression as well as fibro, overweight, migraines and she is NOT one bit better after 10 years. Even had a vegus nerve stimulator 6 months ago.
I will end this post now but again, thank you.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 1/1/2007 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
google department of mental health and pick your state.  they can not deny her anykind of services just because she lives with you.  and if you say that your going to cut her off and want her to go into a residential program and find if they have one they have to accept it.  Medicare and Medicaid will pay for it.  There are many great programs out there...your daughter may not like it but you will have your life back and know she is being taken care of.  Please check into it.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


famouslastwords
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 1/3/2007 5:12 AM (GMT -7)   
well, actually, my parents have been really crazy supportive about my depression and anxiety...this whole thing started out by me taking pain meds to kind of "numb the pain" or what have you... and they found out about it and kind of set up an intervention type deal... it was pretty lame but now i'm in therapy and i dont take pain meds anymore.
i'm just glad they didn't send me away.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 1/3/2007 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
That's great famous that your family has been so supportive of you.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate

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