I am excited to have found such a supportive website to join.
I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder/Anxiety and Mild Depression w/ ADD. I am on Lexapro, and Klonopin as needed.
I've unfortunately quit going to the doctor (psychiatrist) who diagnosed and treated me with this selection of medication - because, I had issues with their office. I think a lot of them are out to be money hungry who just want you to keep coming in day after day (and I cant afford that!) - and therefore I left them, and just went back to my family doctor - for continued medicine refill.
However, I feel as though I am sliding down a mountainside hill - and losing grip of all twigs and branches that kept me in the past from falling.
I'm afraid I am becomming very much a person, who will lose the quality of my life, without proper help - and I'm afraid there is no help.
I feel like there is nothing else left to do, or try. I've had people tell me I sound and look horrible. Well - I pass it off as "not sleeping well" - but I know full well what it is - I'm so depressed I can't even smile.
I am NOT suicidal - This is where Anxiety comes in - Last night for example, I thought I was going to die - so I was afraid to go to sleep - in hopes that if I stayed awake, Id be "Ok". So, due to that exhausting experience - I was up until 4:00AM.
I sat in my bathroom this morning and just cried and cried - looking into the mirror at myself, noticing all the big deep dark circles under my eyes - and I see it. And, I don't like it.
My husband, told me that, he has given up on me, he says ..... Youve had all kinds of medicine, and it never gets better. So now I'll just deal with the fact - that I need to live with someone like you.
So now, I'm scared -------Will it (the sickness) ever get better? What else can they do? I need the help.
I'll post more later, I took a Klonopin awhile ago - and it took a lot of strength to write this much.
Thank you for listening, most of all!