I dont understand?

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/15/2007 4:03 AM (GMT -6)   
So, I lead a really good life, but for some reason I'm not at ALL happy. I just stay awake till four in the morning sometimes crying randomly wondering what is so wrong with me. I want to go to a doctor or something just because I'm not understanding any of this but I don't know how to tell my family that their daughter that is always smiling and happy, is really just putting on a front. I have no one to talk to to because only like 2 of my friends have seen me cry. No one knows how I really feel inside. Their are some days when I just don't even try in the morning, I feel like I'm so ugly and that I have absolutly no purpose in life. I just really want some one to talk to about all this. Why do I feel this way, what is wrong with me. Before I moved I was always out with friends, going to concerts, the mall, just hanging out, I had so much energy. Now all I want to do is lay in my bed and just sleep my life away. I wont lie, I don't exactlly understand how to use this site, I just really wanted someone to talk to and some way to write what I was feeling, and right about now I feel worthless, and I'm tired of putting on a front of being this happy girl with a perfect life, I want someone to see me and that I am NOT happy!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/15/2007 7:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the board.
There are so many people on here that will be able to share their stories with you,and try to help you through this.
I do think that you do need to see a doctor,right away.
As far as your family,don't worry about them right now. You need to worry about yourself and getting healthy for you. When you are on the right road, and feel comfortable about it,then you can tell them.
Most people with depression are able to put up good fronts,we have learned that the world really doesn't accept an unhappy person,as it freaks them out. So,we learn to hide it. Which is not healthy at all.
Please keep us updated and keep your head up.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 1/15/2007 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   

I too cry myself to sleep some nights and feel like I have to put on a front because friends and family just don't understand.

I however, have found great comfort in this messageboard in the short time I have been apart of it because here I know I am not alone.

Regardless of whether or not you talk to your family and friends about your depression, you need to find help to deal with it. I have been in therapy in the past and it does make an impact on the road to health.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 1/15/2007 11:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Coming here to talk about your feeling is a very good start. I'm sure you will get a lot of good advice. lol, Dee
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