Post Edited (charmlesslork) : 3/25/2009 2:36:56 PM (GMT-6)
Welcome to healing well charmless, we are happy to have you join us here. I have had depression, anxiety & panic disorder since my early teens so I can relate to a lot of what you have written here.
You have just graduated high school and are now facing college and your friends are going away to school...that is a major life change and can most certainly affect your mood, feelings and perhaps bring on depression. Wither or not you have depression I don’t know and can’t diagnose that as I am not a doctor but it does sound as if your experiencing depressive symptoms.
Depression does change the way a person thinks and feels. Often times the person who has depression will isolate themselves from loved ones, sabotage relationships/friendships and can often times lead to self destructive behaviors. This is a very serious illness and if you honestly feel that you are experiencing this as I believe that you do from your post then you need to seek help from your physician ASAP. It can not be left untreated as to do so will only result in disaster. If this is the first time you have ever experienced this then it could just be a situational depression in which case is usually temporary and with medication and some therapy for a short period of time the person is able to over come this hurdle and resume normal life.
I can tell from your post that you love your BF very much...perhaps you can talk to him about your feelings and try to get him to understand what your going through and have him be a good support system for you while your going through this. Maybe also your family will be receptive to helping and understanding. No matter what you do please do seek help from a doctor or even some therapy to help you through this transition in life.
We are always here so please do feel free to post anytime...Take care
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
I can really relate to what you describe. I feel like I've lost my short-term memory over the past four to six weeks as my anxiety and depression seemed to get worse. One of my triggers, I think, was that I was just promoted. And, as a response, my mind shut off!! Positive life events can be just as stressful and catalytic as negative ones. It seems to be about the intensity, or at least that's how I see it.
Losing my memory and common sense makes me feel like I'm deteroriating, or like my whole life before was a lie....I feel so stooopid! All I want to do are repetitive tasks, if I want to do anything at all.
I also have a hard time feeling emotion right now. I think I'm simply exhausted and too scared. My therapist said that I should take time to relax and rest, even if it means curling up in a blanket. And I just started medications this week.
It sounds like you've had some great accomplishments and that you're going through a lot of change. I second everyone else's advice to talk to a dr. about what's been going on in your life. It's really painful to be isolated. You don't deserve that. Nobody does.
And congratulations on your graduation!