Seems when I don't have the emotional support I get deluged by the tidal waves of everyday stress, being a single mom raising three challenging children 24/7. As long as I see my therapist I feel supported and am able to cope with the never-ending stress. But for past few months I've not been seeing her due to not having the money to pay her. (Going to a clinic with a sliding fee is not an option, as I've been to a few of their therapists in the past and they just don't have the skill I have found in my private-practice therapist.)
So I've been extremely irritable and nervous and the slightest movements or noise just set me off. But that's life with three growing kids, there's always someone fighting, or tired, or frustrated, and I am very reactive to that. Poor kids, to have a mum who is nervous all the time, no longer has patience to sit and listen to them calmly, play games, etc. I don't recognize the mum I have become. I curse all day, as every little thing sets me off.
For the sake of my kids I wanna get back to myself. Be the same old calm mum I used to be, play games with them every day, laugh, listen to them, have patience for them, and not get ticked off by every little sound they make.
I want to ask my doc for a prescription medication, tho I'm not sure what to ask for. Do I ask for anti-depressant, or anti-anxiety? The last time I felt this way, about four years ago, when I wasn't seeing my therapist for a while, the doc prescribed effexor but it did nothing for me. So I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed different anti-depressants along with anti-anxiety meds, but again I did not feel better. The meds that are supposed to calm me down make me tired, too tired to properly care for my kids. I experienced all the side effects, with no benefits. The psychiatrist told me to get off the meds. I went from one psychiatrist to another, they all tried their stuff on me, but nothing doing. When I went back into therapy and once again had the emotional support I felt a lot better and things improved.
So right now I can't financially afford therapy and therefore I'm looking for another way to cope with my nervousness and rage and irritability. I'm just not sure what kind of classification of meds helps with rage, irritability, no patience, etc.
Thanks all for your feedback.