what is your motivation?

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AngMichelle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 1/30/2007 10:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Everybody tells me to get on a schedule, get up, do something, volunteer, get dressed, blahh, etc, blahh.
 
What do i have to look forward to? Why get up, get dressed and get out? When I do i am overwhelmed by anxiety.
 
I can't work because of all my various illnesses. I miss to many days.
 
I don't want to go back to school because i'm afraid of failing again.
 
I can get up to go to church because I don't sleep at night. I crash around 6 am, and thats when I need to get up.
 
I have no friends anymore, they all left after my illnesses.
 
Even my family is getting frustrated, and I'm lossing their support too.
 
What do I have to get up for? I just exist, I want to LIVE.
I'm only 21. I should be having the time of my life right now, not staying home all day everyday.
 
What is your motivation????

curtiss
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/31/2007 12:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Well motivation, its tricky because back a year ago i didn't have it. I didn't care only thing I knew is that i didn't want to feel this way. Tried the meds, didn't work nothing did. I thought I would give life another attempt, as I had nothing to lose and alot to gain. So I attempted to get a job and soon enough i was working. Five months i had built up a better resume and got another job and had started to rent a place of my own. I had picked up hobbies that I used to do in high school. Throughout the past year i have had my run in with troubles same as always but stayed strong because i found a will. A will to live to take care of myself and enjoy people may it be friends, family, co-workers, I didn't feel so alone. I find "responsibility" has helped me the most as it helps me realize thats I am here for a reason. Succeeding in anything you do will make you feel better.

curt

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 1/31/2007 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Michelle
 
Last year I had no motivation at all.  I didnt feel as though I would ever see the day when I wasnt engulfed by depression and anxiety.  I got so bad that I spent 4 months in hospital and the meds I was put on actually worked (I have tried a lot in the past).
At first I spent all of my time in the hospital holed up in my room but gradually I was encouraged to do activities such as paint, write and do exercise.  This got me going again and I did get well and my depression started to lift and my anxiety reduced.
 
Coming out of hospital and home again was hard but I have taken one day at a time and not looked too far ahead.  I used to work as a nurse but felt like I wanted a change so when I feel up to it I am going to start my training as a beauty therapist.  I have dramatically changed my life and wanted to fight to get better.  I decided one day in hospital that I wasn't going to be dragged down anymore.  I am 24, and I wanted to live not just exist.
 
You will get there and you will get better .  Do you have any help and support from your doctor and so you take any meds?
 
I lost some friends when I was ill, they didnt understand my illness and drifted away.  I have my close friends and have made new friends and the ones I lost, I realised weren't true friends.  I joined a local yoga class and that helped with my anxiety and I met new people there.  There are always ways of meeting new people.
 
Take care hun x

Victoria x

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX

 


slowlygoingcrazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 1/31/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
My kids are my motivation! But it's still hard. You just have to find something to latch on to and hold on to it. Take some time and re-evaluate things. And even though it's hard, you got to just keep moving. Like when you're running. At the first sign of cramps you could just give up and stop, but if you push through the cramps, they often subside. With depression, it's the fog and fatigue. Giving into them is a recipe for disaster. You talk about failing school again, well, the way I look at things is if you don't try, you've already failed. At least if you try and things don't work out, then you at least get points for effort, but if they do work out, then you are all the better for it in the long run. And thinking positively going into something is a major step in achieving your goals. And often even when you fail, you've still learned some valuable lessons or made a new friend that you can take with you into the rest of your life. That's the one thing I think that keeps me going, aside from my kids, is that I tend to see the glass half full not empty. Even in my darkest moments, I can see the good in things. Sometimes my biggest frustrations come from the people around me giving up. But even as I say all this, I am at a point where I need to heal and I'm taking some very big steps to kick start that process. On February 27th I have an appointment with my doctor to sign my sick leave form and if all goes well, I will be off for about three months. My life is inundated with the needs of others and there's little time for me so I'm taking time for me and I'm going to re-evaluate my life and get back on track. And just having made that decision has lifted a weight from my shoulders, and I feel like I can move forward and make the rest of the decisions I need to make now because I've freed up some of my energy to deal with the decision making process. You have to do the same thing. Make the time to make yourself a priority and look at what you have and figure out where you want to go and latch on to that for dear life and then find a way to get there. It doesn't mean that you might not have to make compromises a long the way, but figure out in advance where you are willing to compromise and how much you are willing to compromise. It doesn't mean that you might not stumble or trip up periodically but don't give up, just pick yourself up and accept the trip or roadblock for what it is (sometimes there's things we'd miss if God didn't trip us up once and awhile!). It's not easy, and getting started on it is the hardest part. Once you are started and your momentum starts to pick up, things will get easier. It's the first few steps and you need to be strong, brave and focussed on your goal. Good luck!
slowlygoingcrazy
 It would be easier to tell people I have cancer than it is to tell them I am severely depressed.....


chubbin
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/31/2007 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
MUSIC READING EXCERSICE I found some motivation from doing something that would take my mind away from where I was. T.V. drove me crazy the same thing over and over again. keep your mind moving whatever why you can. keep truckin'
chubbin4life
live, laugh, and always love


graceannrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 2/1/2007 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Angmichelle,

You mentioned various illnesses. Are your illnesses causing the fatigue, insomnia etc. A lot of people with chronic illness do experience depression.

My motivation is not to lose my entire life to chronic illness! I went through a time of pretty severe depression but it helped a lot to have a proper diagnosis and a good treatment plan. It helped me feel a bit more in control of things.

Are you on treatment for your illnesses? Do you have a proper diagnosis? Keep posting, it helps a LOT to vent.

Hang in there :)
Diagnosed with Tick-Borne Illness (aka Lyme Disease) in August 2006. Steadily improving with antibiotic treatment & sheer determination. 
 
Please check out all the Lyme friends from Healingwell...
 


AngMichelle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 2/2/2007 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the replies. Right now I'm kinda down again, I have the flu. So just something else to kick me while I"m down.
 
 
I think my motivations would be(if I ever get to where I can do them) would be to finish school and become a nurse, my dream, work, be a successful, contributing member of society, eventually become a wife and a mom. Thats all I want, but I want it being someone who is well, happy, and content.
Contentment....thats all I want.
 
To answer your ??'s I have several illnesses, and randomly get new ones. I have one great doc, the rest have all given up on me. I am on some meds, Lexapro,Klonopin,trazodone(doesn't work), and a lot of PRN meds for migraines, non-epileptic seizures and some other stuff. I'm just tired of depending on meds...plus i've built a huge tolerance to most meds.
I'm rambling now....
 
My goal for next week, after getting over the flu, is go to my local Tech. College and buy a book to study for the entrance test to apply for LPN school. Hopfully pass the test, and start school in the fall. I really want this to happen, so pray it does if its God's will for me.
 
thanks for all the support.
DX-Migraines:Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome:Kidney stones: IBS:Ulcers:Depression/Anxiety:Non-Epileptic Seizures:Buldging Disc:Joint pain
 
Surgeries- two jaw surgeries, appendectomy, numerous lap. surgeries, cyst removal
 
Meds: Lexapro 20mg, Klonopin 1mg, Trazodone 50mg
(PRN- Imitrex INJ, Pherergan, Stadol NS, Rantidine, Zanaflex)
 
May God give you a reason to smile today, an extra reason to laugh, and bring joy to your soul.


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/5/2007 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi AngMichelle,  I am so sorry your dealing with so much.  Motivation, inspiration, ambition and determination are all very hard to hang on too when you are living with chronic illnesses. 

I too have been there, am there now...I have had MS for almost 6 yrs, diagnosed with MSA (multiple system atrophy) a yr ago which is an autonomic disorder.  Depression and post traumatic stress disorder I have had most of my life...well as long as I can remember at least, and panic/anxiety for about 10 yrs now.  I got divorced 3 yrs ago, my ex couldnt handle my being sick with MS as it "changed our relationship".  I moved in with my mom a yr and half ago when the MSA started showing severe symptoms.  I also had to quit my job as I was in the hospital for almost 3 months and my doctors wouldnt let me return they still state that I cant even work part time.  I am so close to finishing my Masters in Psychology but every time I sign up for a class I have to drop as I have terrible problems with my blood pressure and it makes it really hard to go to school.   

So yeah, I can really relate to trying to find motivation in life.  For me some days are better then others.  I can wake up, get dressed go to the gym and do my workout which is mandated by my cardiologist.  It is amazing how exercise does make you feel better.  I have a cat who is extremely overweight but I try not to tell him that...his name is Normandy, pets are always a great inspiration.  And I do some crochet when I feel like it which keeps my hands busy and gives me a feeling of accomplishment.  I try not to worry about tomorrow as it stresses me out too much just even thinking of it...today is all I have to think of and get through.  At times it is hard as I dont think I will ever get married again, I know I wont have kids and my future health is so uncertain...I am 33 and live with my mom how pathetic.  I try not to think of these things and at least my mother is really young for her age and gives me my space.

My thoughts and prayers are with you for your success with the LPN program.  I truly hope you can find your motivators in life, we all do need them to keep going no matter how large or small they may be.

 


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


AngMichelle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 2/5/2007 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the reply.
DX-Migraines:Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome:Kidney stones: IBS:Ulcers:Depression/Anxiety:Non-Epileptic Seizures:Buldging Disc:Joint pain
 
Surgeries- two jaw surgeries, appendectomy, numerous lap. surgeries, cyst removal
 
Meds: Lexapro 20mg, Klonopin 1mg, Trazodone 50mg
(PRN- Imitrex INJ, Pherergan, Stadol NS, DiaStat, Rantidine, Zanaflex)
 
May God give you a reason to smile today, an extra reason to laugh, and bring joy to your soul.

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