being a big baby

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BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/2/2007 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
i am 18 and a college freshman. i have two questions...
1) when my parents dropped me off for my second semester i found myself alone in my room crying my eyes out thinking "i want my mommy" which i'm pretty sure i haven't thought since i was about 4. i'm smart...what's wrong with me?
2) my depression seems to be worse at night. is this because i'm distracted during the day and don't think about it as much? i feel like even now that i am on meds - it's still a lot worse at night... this doesn't count as bipolar, right? just curious.

Geebs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/2/2007 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
When I left for college and was away from home for the first time, I felt really scared and nervous at first. I called my mother every day and felt like I needed to hear her voice. The good news is a lot of your fellow freshman feel the same way and that can help you feel better!

If you feel depressed, most colleges have a counseling center on campus for students who need to talk. If you're taking medication, it might also be helpful to check-in with your doctor with a phone call or ask the counseling center if they have a psychiatrist they work with. Either way, it can't hurt to check it out.

Let us know how you're doing and this too shall pass.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/3/2007 5:49 AM (GMT -7)   
HI BlueMoon,
Geebs has given you excellent advice.
I also wanted to add that being a mom,I know that your parents are feeling about the same way as you are,instead of thinking "I want my mommy", your mom is " I am so worried about my baby", I hope she is eating right,I hope she is not getting lost looking for her classes. I hope she doesn't talk to strangers,and remembers to brush her teeth everyday!! ;)
You are on a great journey right now. And are going to experience lots of new things.
I am adding a link for you to take a look at. Although it does not sound like bipolar,I am not a doctor.
Good luck to you.


http://www.coulditbebipolar.com/mini_c/CouldItBeBipolar/bipolarDisorder.asp
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/5/2007 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm doing horribly. the psychiatrist on campus told me that i don't have depression, but that i have add and should take focus pills. clearly i am robbing my parents blind because their $$ is going nowhere here... i used to take zoloft but it made me sick and i haven't been on anything else since... am feeling really overwhelmed by second semester and my feelings of wanting my mommy and feeling like i can't do this have not subsided... am very sad and very frustrated.

BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/5/2007 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
okay so i feel like a tool replying to myself ... again... but i feel like i've been reading a lot of what everyone else has to say about motivation - and i think that's my problem... i'm kinda in a spiral where i don't see the point even though i need to at some point get a life, get a job, learn how to do something to survive and actually LIVE instead of just going through the motions... sometimes i feel like i should drop out (temporarily) but that always seems like the wrong answer in the long run... sorry i'm rambling. just feeling really crummy today...

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/5/2007 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon,
Ok,first thing is that your "counsler" is not a doctor. There is no way that person can tell you if you have depression or not. If they are going to give that you that type of advice,by telling you something that you don't have when they are not educated enough to be able to do that. I would suggest going to a doctor. ASAP.
Tell them what is going on,and see what happens from there.
I get very frustrated when someone who is not qualified tries to deter a person when they need help.
In order for you to get the advice and help that you need,I really think you need a more qualified person.

Please keep in touch.
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Geebs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/5/2007 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon,

Have you discussed the psychiatrist's diagnosis and recommendation with your parents? I think you need to bring them into the picture and maybe ask for a referral to another psychiatrist for a second opinion. Has this come up before?

ADD can be a very tricky diagnosis and needs to be carefully considered. I don't think you should be walking around feeling sad and miserable. You should be getting some treatment and counseling.

Let us know how you do.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/6/2007 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey bluemoon, I totally agree with the responses you have gotten so far.  College is stressful for anyone and very overwhelming when you first begin.  I would most definitely get a second opinion on the diagnosis of ADD before you change any of your medication.  As Geebs pointed out this is a tricky diagnosis and I would find it hard to believe that signs of ADD would just now be showing.  Please do speak to your parents and ask for their help.  There is no shame in dropping your classes for a semester if you need to so you can go home to get better if that is the case.  You have your whole life ahead of you and when you do go off to school you need to be able to do this with confidence in yourself and the feeling of independence.  Maybe you can checking on switching your classes to online ones...many colleges offer these now so you can do your courses from home and not miss the credits.  Whatever you do communicate to your parents and keep them involved.  We are always here for you.


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/6/2007 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
blaaah i know i'm obviously not trusting the school doctor, but it's so stupid because supposedly we have like a billion dollar endowment you'd think they could get someone credible in here, but whatever... blah. i just feel so out of control, like i am starting to isolate these people that i have only known a few months - i feel like no one understands what i'm going through because they are all loving school and having a great time - and i'm not. so i know it sounds weird, but it's kind of nice to come here and know that i am not alone and if i lose friends, as fatalistic as this sounds, it's normal because they are not going through this crap... right? idk.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/6/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Well I am glad that you didnt take what the school doctor had to say as a definate dianosis for you.  I think you would be really surprised to find that if you did open up to say one or two of those friends that you have made there as school that you would find that others are feeling pretty close to the same way you are.
 
I faked my way through college the first time...and I only say it that way as I always came across as the happy, go lucky, party girl which is nothing further from how I really was and felt.  I had my time periods where I would have to juggle around my class schedule so I could "take a break" and either go home or I would just hole up in my apartment for weeks at a time.  I didnt feel that I could talk to anyone about my feelings of depression...but I did have it for several years before I even went off to school.  I always refused to go to counseling or get any kind of treatment for it until I was about 25 and working full time, had my own insurance and the depression took over everything.  I wont go into all that as it isnt productive but I did spend many years afterward bouncing back and fourth between going to see doctors and not being treated at all.  Hindsight, it is all really stupid of me as my degree is in psychology so I should of known better but we are all human and have to face these things at our own time and pace.
 
BTY...I am 33 yrs old now and several credits away from my master's degree most of which I was able to do on-line.  I wanted to tell you this because I think it is important for you and everyone else to know that it is never to late to go back to school and there are always options for us out there so please dont feel stuck.  Talk to someone...

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


a.l.
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 279
   Posted 2/6/2007 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Blue Moon-
I truly understand what you are going through!!
I am writing this as the mother of a college student, but I am also someone who went away to college and ended up transferring to another school and communiting from home everyday.
When I went back to college for the 2nd semester, I was very unhappy and felt as if I just couldn't handle being away from home. I begged my parents to let me come home and they gave me a really hard time about it.  I finally went to see a counselor who agreed that maybe it was better for me to transfer schools. When I did, I felt it was the best thing that I could have done.
On the other hand, my daughter is a sophomore in college.  The night before we left to take her there in her freshman year, she came to me, crying hysterically that she didn't want to go.  I told her at that point that she had no choice.  She was extremely upset that everyone else seemed to be so excited about going away to school.  The first week, I got phone calls from her at all hours of the night. Ironically, those friends that were so excited about college were also feeling a little homesick, too. She got through her first semester, but the same feelings started all over after she went back for second semester.  But, now, the second semester of her sophomore year, she refers to college as "home"! However, after sophomore year winter break, it still was a little difficult for her to go back to school, having been home for a month (Once she got there, she was fine!)
Sorry for so much rambling- but the point is that everyone has to find the situation that works best for them.  Seeing a doctor may help you to assess whether you are feeling "normal" separation anxiety, or whether there is more to it.
 
And, it is normal to "want your mommy" when you are not feeling your best- even at 47, I still want my mommy at times!!

stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 2/19/2007 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon, You are having a very normal Freshman experience. My daughter is the strongest person I know and she went through this her second semester at a school all the way across the country from us. It was extremely difficult for everyone concerned. As a mom in that situation I do have a few suggestions:

1. Don't give up on yourself.
2. Do keep busy. Go to class (even if you flunk), get a part time job on campus. Both of these things will help you meet others.
3. Allow yourself to get involved. If a group of kids are going to the football games, go with them (even if you don't like football), if others are going to go workout, go with them.
4. Keep your dorm room door open so that you have a friendly face to the others you live with. If people are hanging out in the hallway just talking, go out and introduce yourself, sit down with them and just be with them even if you don't feel like talking.
5. Call Mom and Dad and/or old friends often. Moving on to college does not mean that you need or should sever the ties that got you there in the first place. As a parent I realized when my youngest left for college that I had to rebuild my entire life because the focus of my life was different now. That put me in the same boat as my kids, on new ground without the people around me that were so familiar for so long in my life. I missed my kids but knew that I had to let them find their own way. It meant more than you will know that they called me instead of me always having to be the one that put that effort forward.
6. Keep coming here because we really do understand and we are stronger together.

You have gotten some other great advice about how to interact with medical professionals. Follow your dreams and never give up on yourself.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/20/2007 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
God. Sorry for all these posts. I feel so disoriented. There is a lot of great advice here! I would go to the football games, but seeing as its an all girls school I think the closest thing would be rugby? Idk. People get more excited about debate tournaments than sports games!!! I guess my biggest issue this semester is that I don't feel focused - I dont have a major - and am afraid that if I pick one I will only have a narrow choice of jobs/careers when/if I graduate. I feel like I am always escaping... my parents suggested taking time off and traveling - but that idea sounds even worse to me. What is wrong with me?! People my age are living in their own apartments, are in Iraq... and I want my mommy? What is my problem?! Sorry for the overlap in posts... I'm freaking out.

a.l.
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 279
   Posted 2/20/2007 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Blue- there is nothing wrong with you- you just have a different personality than those living in their own apartments, etc.  I am 47 and started a new job yesterday, and the first thing I did yesterday and today after I left work was to call my mommy!! Some people just adjust to things more easily- for those with anxiety, it just takes a little longer... Are there any clubs at your school that you might be interested in, where you would meet people with a similar interest? For my daughter, her adjustment to college came when she joined the rugby team- it was a chance to meet people and to get involved in something that she enjoyed...

Please know I am thinking of you!!

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