How do I explain?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

kaca
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/14/2007 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   

How do I explain depression to my boyfriend? I love him with all of my heart...He is everything to me.
I find myself sinking back into a depression. I have been of medication for a year now. I thought I would be o.k. I have a wonderful guy, and no reason for sadness.
It's really bad, because He does not understand depression, and thinks maybe there is something lacking for me in our relationship. This makes it really hard for me, because I'm suffering with depression symtoms, and I worry that He thinks that He can't make me happy. What does one do?


FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 2/14/2007 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
It is what it is. I can't even explain it to myself, let alone anyone else. Maybe try taking your bf along to your doctor appointment? Sorry I couldn't be more help...
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Geebs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/14/2007 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
It's very hard for loved ones to understand the pain of depression. Certainly, he should try and do some research on the internet and I think joining you for a few counseling sessions would be great too.

TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 2/14/2007 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
It's so very difficult when our loved ones take our depression personally - like it's their fault. Depression isn't feeling "sad" or "angry" at someone else in our lives - it is so much more! I'm so very sorry that your boyfriend doesn't understand your situation, but then, people who have never suffered from depression can never really "get it" and we can only forgive them and be happy that they don't suffer from it as well. All you can do is keep telling him it's not anything HE is doing or not doing - it's your body chemistry, and you are doing everything you can to treat it. FamilyGuy and Geebs make excellent points in suggesting you bring your BF along to one of your appointments. Sometimes people understand better when speaking to a Professional - even though it's the same things you've probably already said. You can also print out articles from the internet that may better explain the situation in a way that he can understand. Most of all - keep talking and communicating! Communicating is what relationships are all about - even the bad stuff. :-)
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


kaca
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/14/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for everyones advice...If anyone has any idea of where I can find info, or articles that could explain this.....I would be very grateful!  I think that was a great idea to print articles that explain it in ways that would make it easy for him to understand.
 

AngMichelle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 2/14/2007 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
the best way for me to explain it to my friends, is like someone with diabetes, doesn't produce enough insulin, so for those with depression, we also have a chemical imbalance.
Hope this helps. Its really hard to explain to ourselves, much less our loved ones. Just assure him it isn't anything he is doing, and its nothing you are doing either, just something you deal with.
Best to you,
Ang
DX-Migraines:Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome:Kidney stones: IBS:Ulcers:Depression/Anxiety:Non-Epileptic Seizures:Buldging Disc:Joint pain
 
Surgeries- two jaw surgeries, appendectomy, numerous lap. surgeries, cyst removal
 
Meds: Lexapro 20mg, Klonopin 1mg, Trazodone 50mg
(PRN- Imitrex INJ, Pherergan, Stadol NS, DiaStat, Rantidine, Zanaflex)
 
May God give you a reason to smile today, an extra reason to laugh, and bring joy to your soul.


FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 2/14/2007 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
This website has a lot of info, look under diseases and conditions at the top of the page. :-)
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 2/14/2007 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Here's a couple more to look at offsite (is that allowed here?) Also, go to google.com and just type in the word depression. You'll get a gazillion links to read through. :-)

http://www.healthmaker.info/depression.html

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artid=222
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/15/2007 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Kaca
Talking to a loved one is very hard. They start to worry that it is something there are doing,and if it is not it is very hard for us to explain it to them.
Then you have the ones that say "snap out of it",or "it will get better. I have heard a million different comebacks,and then I don't feel like they understand.
Plus I often find that it is hard for me to explain it to someone when I don't even understand why I am feeling this way.
I guess the best way to start is telling them how you feel,and explaining that you will not always know what causes it.
It is one of the hardest things you will do.
I do agree that taking him to the doctor with you might really help.


Good Luck!
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

http://www.healingwell.com/donate

Pics
[urlhttp://beta.propichosting.com/Album.aspx?folder=450019949

Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 2/15/2007 6:30:17 AM (GMT-7)


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/15/2007 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Kaca,
 
First thing I would do would be to call up your doctor and get back on some meds to even out the rough spots.  Explain to your boyfriend that Depression is a physical disease, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.  For some reason, your brain chemistry is not working correctly and you need medication(s) to correct the imbalance.  It affects your emotions and behavior, but is not caused by it.  Your boyfriend is no more at fault for your imbalance than I am.  The condition will not go away, but can be controlled with the proper medication.  Make it clear that no one is at fault, no more so than if someone gets cancer.  It happens.  When it does happen, it affects your moods, which nobody else has any control over.  You just have to keep reminding your BF that he is NOT responsible for your moods, good or bad.  Just make sure you are extremely careful taking your medication exactly as prescribed and things should get better.
 
Keep us updated.
 
Leigh Ann cool

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 2/16/2007 2:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kaca..Welcome to HW tongue
As you have found out there are heaps of wonderful and supportive people here to help..lucky us!
If we had broken our arm we would wear a plaster cast and everyone would know what was wrong and act accordingly - but with depression there is no outward symptom for people to see (unless they are really smart lol) so it's hard for them to understand at first esp. our nearest and dearest.
Are you taking meds for depression? If not I think a visit to the doctor could be a wise idea...also a dose of counselling might be good idea for both you and your BF.
Maree
 
Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
Keep a green tree in your heart ~ and perhaps a singing bird will come along.
Chinese Proverb.


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 2/16/2007 2:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi ~ Welcome to Healing Well.
 
I agree with familyguy ~ maybe taking your boyfriend to your doctors appt would help.  When I was really ill, my boyfriend researched depression and anxiety so he could understand better.  There are some great resources on this site about depression.
 
People have to remember that depression is an illness ~ we don't ask for it, and we don't need a reason to feel depressed.  We don't ask for illness like cancer, so why should we ask for depression.  I think that there is more understanding about mental illness than there used to be ~ I just wish the stigma about it would disappear altogether.
 
Take care and keep in touch.  You are always welcome to post here, we are always here to listen and advise where we can x

Victoria x

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane /

www.healingwell.com/donate

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 7:05 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,097 posts in 301,275 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151370 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, calvin1242.
419 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Tnmproject, JJ2511, 0311, Fl Drifter, getting by, LG13, DennisinNY, platinumpixie, bdavis, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer