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snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi i`m new.Iwas given this site gy a friend who thought it might help .I hoping it can because i just don`t know what to do anymore.I suffer from Post Traumatic Distress and Severe depression.The past few months have been just too much to handle. sad


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 2/17/2007 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there restless 1
You have come to the right place..Welcome to Healing Well...We have such a great family of wonderful people here all willing to help out where they can..feel free to share your story when you are ready tongue It's a good idea to have a quick read of the Forum Rules before you start..there's a link over to your righthand side of this page.
Take good care.
Maree


Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
 


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   

It`s hard to know just where to begin .Well i will give it a go i`ve been married 25yrs and have five children ,Things seem to be going along fine until about four years ago when i started what i thought were bed dreams.These dreams were not dreams but in actual flash backs to both sexual and physical abuse that i suffered as a child.Iwas aware something was a miss when i couldn`t remember any of my childhood .I was aware of some of the abuse and had mentioned lightly to hubby before we married,nothing more thought or asked about it. But now these flashbacks have been so horrific that it has effected me ,hubby and our relationship.Ihave recieved councilling but hubby refused ,thats ok i dealt with it and was prepared to move on.As it turns out hubby can`t move on ,he won`t attend councilling and won`t talk to me about it .Ijust don`t know what to do .My marriage is the most important thing in the world to me along with hubby  then the kids .Without it i have nothing .Iam severly depressed and on medication i see a psychologist once every 6weeks thats allk that is available to me .I haven`t spoken to anyone where i live for fourteen years as i was then betrayed by a so called friend.Not even my family know whats been happening in my life i keep it all to myself.I`m at a stage i just don`t want to go on i`m so frightened of being on my own.Icarry a lot of anger towards my parents for not protecting me as a child ,for the physical abuse i suffered at their drunken hands ,for the sexual abuse i suffered by my brother ,uncle,and so called family friends .Then to top it off to find out my mother has cancer and this will be her last year,finding out i have skin cancer and need surgery,having a child that hasn`t spoken to us in three years ,having a child that you don`t care for ( the guilt,failure and being ashamed that i have failed her as a parent )These are just a few of the issues i`m going throgh at the moment and when i contemplated ending it all only to be yelled at by the dr was the last straw .What do i do ? Where do i go ?


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 2/17/2007 4:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi restless,

I can really and truly understand what you are going through. Last year I began suffering flashbacks from my childhood and everything from the past that i had tried so desperatley to hide and forget was coming back to haunt me and I could not cope. In september things got so bad, I had a breakdown and was admitted to a psych hospital where I stayed for 4 months. I had been so terrified all my life that I couldnt even talk to my father and boyfriend and my friends about the abuse I had suffered at the hands of my mother and her boyfriend. I have no contact with my mother anymore and have no idea where her boyfriend is. I never want to see my mother again for as long as I live. I was put on medication in hospital and this has really helped me.
It helped to eventually tell the people around me what I had been through, and at first it was difficult for them. But the more they tried to understand and help, the more they got used to it.

Are you on any meds at the moment? It sounds like you are at a very low point and you need to seek professional help. One session of counselling every 6 weeks isn't a lot. It must be hard for you if your hubby is not coping too well, he is obviousley hurting and can't bring homself to try and understand. It is hard for him to come to terms with what happened to someone he loves.
Please seek advice from your doctor or even see another doctor if you can. You need to get some help for the depression and post traumatic stress. I wonder of there are any support groups in your area you could attend. I know we have support groups in our town for adult survivors of abuse. Thats something you could ask your doctor about or look up on the internet.

Kepp in touch with us and we are always here to support. We arent medical professionals here but a lot of members have been through and are going through what you have so we can support and help any way we can.

Take care and post again

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX

www.healingwell.com/donate


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 4:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks victoria i am finding it extreemly difficult at the moment and i have enquired about groups but being such a small place there isn`t anything here thats why this site was recommended . The next closest place is over 700km away so i can`t go there.I`m on medication an anti depressant which the strength has been trippled since early november and an anti psycotic medication along with a few others for blood clots and migraines.Another thing is the dr i was seeing is leaving in early march so then i have to go through everything again with a new one and i just don`t want to go there anymore

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 2/17/2007 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I can understand it is hard to go through things with another doctor, but maybe a new doctor will have different ideas on your treatment and how they can help you. I find it strange how doctors can work so differently from each other. Your history should also be in your notes so you may not have to go through everything again.
Do you feel the medication is helping? If not, then talk to the doctor about that aswell.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please remember that we are always here and you can post anytime you want to. Im sure others will be along to reply to your post and I hope you feel supported here.

Take care and keep in touch. My email is in my profile to the left if you ever feel you want to email and you can use the chat room here if you want to talk to someone.

XX

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX

www.healingwell.com/donate


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
thankyou

TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 2/17/2007 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi restless, and welcome! My hubby never had much to say about his childhood and I suspected some sort of abuse had happened. It took him over 20 years to finally begin talking to me about it - in little, tiny steps. He was petrified that I wouldn't love him any longer if I knew. How wrong he is! I love him even more for surviving what he did.

I can't add much more than what others here have already covered, but one resource you might check into is a clergyman. When I was at university back in the Dark Ages, I really needed a psychologist. One of my profs found out what was going on with me, and gave me the name of an on-campus Episcopalian priest who was also a licensed psychologist. That was the most important appointment I ever made in my life, and credit him with saving my life. There was no charge for the 3 times I saw him each week. I had no idea so many clergy members held degrees is psychology in addition to seminary studies, but it makes a lot of sense when you stop to think about it. Is that an area you might be open to looking into for talk therapy? Maybe someone you're close to could recommend someone to start with? In any event, you definitely need to get away from Dr. Loud Mouth. I am appalled that a doctor of any specialty would yell at you during treatment!
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 6:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou texasjen will give it a go as anything at the moment is better than what i have got .and i don`t want to end my marriage this way it`s not how i intened

WeepingWillow
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 2/17/2007 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Restless1. Thank you for showing me this site. I do hope things get better for you. You are a really great friend to me and I care about you so much. Many hugs to you!

snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 2/17/2007 8:24 PM (GMT -7)   
weeping willow you are welcome and i just hope you too can find what you need too this site was highly recommended to me so here is hoping
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