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BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/20/2007 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
have been babysitting and working with kids (mostly prof's kids) at the campus school (where local kids can go and where students from the college learn how to be teachers) for extra money - and have found that this activity, which i thought would be, if anything, therapeutic, to be even more depressing. not that i didnt know that it was going to be a handfull... that part i signed on for. the horrible part is that i feel so unappreciated. i know that this sounds stupid, but that then propogates my anxiety that everyone already thinks nothing of me (friends, classmates, etc.) ... the worst part is that working with kids used to be enjoyable for me - i have been a camp counselor - and now it just makes me wish that someone was still taking care of me !!! when kids get sick at school, we call their parents and they get to go home. they get to lay up on the couch, avoid homework, get taken care of... what happens if i get sick? i get to go to health services where no one is helpful, trudge back to my dorm room and plow through homework so i don't fail. i know i'm supposed to be an adult and that life isn't supposed to be easy - but i feel like such a baby. i don't know if this is at all coherent... but HELP!!!

Fussketeer
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 2/20/2007 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, BlueMoon--

That feeling sounds so familiar to me. Lately, all I've wanted to do is be nurtured in a way that I feel I haven't been. I want my mom (who moved away, and with whom I really wasn't even that close, anyway) recently, and I'm 35!

It sounds like you have so much going on right now. I wish I had more substantive advice, but just know that we are here for you and keep posting!

Have a good Tuesday.


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/20/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess I just feel very selfish to think that (especially because I'm not an only child) that my parents' lives revolve around me! Maybe they're really glad to have me gone and I just need to suck it up and stop being so ridiculous?! I am just bitter because I'm sick.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/20/2007 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Bluemoon
I doubt your parents are glad that you are gone. I am sure they miss you just as much as you miss them.
Have you been calling them lately? Maybe a daily call is what is in need right now? Something to make your days go faster.
I understand about dealing with the kids. Mine are 16 and 19,and when I am around younger kids I find myself clinching my teeth!! Thinking to myself I am so glad that I don't have to go thru that again.
Believe me,if you are really sick your parents would be there.
I hope you start to feel better.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

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Geebs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/20/2007 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon,

I hope you're talking to your parents about how you feel lately. The psychiatrist at the campus health center said you were ADD, but you are sounding very depressed to me. Are you taking your medication? What about calling the doctor who prescribed it for you?

I'm worried about you and we all want you to do better. Please let us know what you're doing to address how you're feeling inside.

GEORGE

jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 2/20/2007 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi BlueMoon
I can relate to what you are saying..I see it like this, when I get 'down' I find the 'inner child' comes forward..you know the one that likes to be nurtured etc. it's because we are unwell - we don't have a broken arm so there's no plaster cast..so this is the minds way of saying 'I need help" and it's up to us to seek this help from counselling/therapy, meds and sometimes a little time out helps heaps! tongue
It really wouldn't matter what job you were doing just now - you are just out of sorts generally..and when we get like this there will be faults with everything lol.
Take good care.
Maree
 
Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
 


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/21/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
recently weaned myself off of effexor because it was having no effect. am no longer getting on campus counseling because it just made things worse... grrrr nothing else exciting i guess - just freaking out.

stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 2/21/2007 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon - I am a mom with kids in college and I can tell you that no matter how independent your kids are, they are the center of your universe. I would put a bunch of money on the notion that your parents miss you as much as you miss them. Call them and be honest with them about what is going on.

Now, if I may, speaking as someone's mother -

1. Getting off of your meds will not make this better. Perhaps you weren't on the right med for you and you need to find one that is more effective for you. Meds are as individual as we are and what works for one may not work for all.

2. Stopping your counselling will not make this better. If it was "making it worse" maybe you really are getting closer to what you need to be talking about but now you are running away from it. Does that make sense to you? I am not trying to be harsh. That comment comes from my experience being a mom of a very homesick daughter who was 3000 away at school.

3. You have to take charge of this situation. This may be the first time in your life that you have to be in charge but allowing yourself to get isolated without a support group will not make this better. I understand how difficult it is to be motivated and strong when you are scared and it feels like you aren't in control. It doesn't mean that you don't have to do it. For me, I started to take back my control with little things. I made sure that I made my bed every day. It was a little thing but I was successful at it and that made me feel successful.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 2/23/2007 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
despite having a (very obvious) schedule and list of things to do, i don't feel in control. is separation anxiety really hard for parents too? because part of me just keeps thinking "no, stupid - they go to work every day and are perfectly happy that you're not there" - so i am confused. blah.

jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 2/23/2007 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   
It's ok to feel anxiety and down BlueMoon, but when we can't let go of these feelings and we let them take over our lives and start constantly dwelling on them..it's time to seek help!
You obviously felt the meds you were on were not helping..but hey, sometimes we have to try different ones to get that help we need to get over the rough patch in our lives.
You are left with several choices really..1. go home 2. ring your parents everyday until the feelings subside or ring and tell them how you are feeling etc. and enlist their support lomg distance 3. Seek further medical help again + counselling/therapy from a different source 4. or relax and start enjoying life away from home - build up your support system with wonderful friends who are probably going thru similar feelings :))
Life is all about choices..and I wish you well with yours :)
Keep us posted.
Maree
Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
 


Geebs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/23/2007 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   
BlueMoon,

I am very upset to read you just stopped taking Effexor without telling anyone. This is definitely not going to help you and it may aggravate how you're feeling right now.

I think you need to tell your parents what you did and go see the psychiatrist on campus again. If you don't feel comfortable with him, ask for a referral to another one outside campus.

I want you to get better soon and you need to be under a professional's care. Flying solo is not a good idea, OK?

GEORGE
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