ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
It sounds like you have the right idea to call your dr. But I have to weigh in on your quitting smoking.
I quit about a year ago, too (14 months 6 days, to be persnickety), and it's the best thing I've ever done. As cliche as that sounds, I'm being honest. And I include my marriage among all of the things I've done. (And this is not to disparage marriage.)
I've craved cigarettes again recently, but, like you, I recognize that my cravings to fill that space inside me aren't cigarette-specific, but more of a search for something. Wish I knew better how to handle it. I've resorted to grapes, sewing and writing right now as I work out what's next. (The other stopgap options in my downtimes are: runny cheese, gallons of gin, a truckload of jelly belly jelly beans, superhard crossword puzzles, studying for a radio license.) I just restarted medication a little over a week ago because of a downturn and haven't yet reached the target dose. (And don't even know what that will look like.)
Loved the fact that you shared your accomplishments, too-- you are inspiring. You inspired me today.
Thankyou everyone I know I should go see the doc (I tell so many people to do that - can't take my own advice though can I now lol).
I've got an app for my leg on Mon so I will see if I can get an app with MY doc (receptionists there have no idea - one time I phoned and said I need to see MY doc , they said you can't you'll have to see dr X , saw dr X who said you need to see YOUR doc about this so make an app with her aaahhhhggggg!! I now have permission to phone her and get her to phone me back when she's free).
Warren! You found me I slipped over here to vent so that I didn't worry my fellow BPers into thinking I wasn't up to scratch lol.
Cigarettes - the reason I gave them up is because they're expensive (money and healthwise) , if it wasn't for that fact I would still be smoking as I enjoyed it. Chocolate - that's probably why I eat it when I'm depressed , NOT good for the waistline.
So why do people have a cigarette after $£x? To prolong the effect?
Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum
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Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX
I feel exactly the same way honey! I been smoking and eating and find it such a struggle to get out of bed. But you need to beat this. You're going to have your good days and bad days. You just got to keep your head up and face the day in the best way you can - try your best to distract yourself from the depression, I know that's easier said that done but you really need to try babe. good luck!
Hokaaay....I finally managed to talk to my doc on the phone today (after finding out her name from the nurse on Monday major memory troubles lol , and finally on Tuesday convincing myself that I need help - just because I can hold it together for five minutes doesn't mean I'm cured ) I have an appointment on Friday so we shall see where that takes me. I must say she was utterly shocked that I hadn't recieved any counselling yet......I think there might be words.
Victoria - bumps in the road? I've gone and got me a roll bar , crash helmet , five point harness and a really really soft cushion VIEW IMAGE
CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! I've gone off chocolate. How , I don't know - even the 70% stuff also red wine?! Unfortunately I still have enough "likes" to get fat on
Warren - I think you are compassionate , although I do have more experience of your....special.....sense of humor than some. Of course you count as a brit aswell
Mouseykins - you've got a great attitude towards this hun , keep hold of that and use it to the full VIEW IMAGE thankyou.
Thankyou everyone - you keep my spirits high
Well I saw my OH off at 5am , he should be on a plane to York US right now visiting his brother. I feel strangely serene about this , I thought I would be worried about being "home alone" at the moment but I'm not ( maybe it's because I know I won't have so much housework to do!!). I also feel a bit jittery (don't ask how you feel serene and jittery at the same time - go find a psychologist and bug them!) possibly because I know my appointment is less than an hour away now.
Will keep you updated , thankyou for all your support ,
Right , I've seen my doc and she gave me an SSRI , citalopram (hydrobromide) 20mg to take one each morning - or if it makes me too tired to take at night , this is supposed to help with depression but should also calm my anxiety.
I asked her if it was going to make me feel quite relaxed , and explained to her that I had taken some meds for pain and flipped for a bit because I was "slipping" into a relaxed state. She said that it was because I wasn't used to being relaxed and I could do with taking more of these meds , and that she could probably do with some herself!! (before you start thinking she is reckless I KNOW she was joking and she was trying to make the app. easier on me , and also taking the P cos she knows I worry about everything).
She said there would be side effects which would make me feel worse to begin with but if I can get through the first 10 days they will ease and I should see a difference in the way I feel. *fingers crossed*
She wonders about the mental health nurse saying that he sees BP in me , as she can't , but that the amount of things I have been through in my life alone would make me the way I am. Although in the same breath she said that she has only seen me when I'm depressed , as that is the time I need help. I'm just gonna have to see when I go for counselling. Whatever it is I'm just glad that something is being done now. I know it won't get better over night but I think I will be able to rest a little easier now.
Oh and a message to BPers who might be on this board - whether it turns out I have or haven't got BP I will still be modding the BP board , I will be there for you , so no worrie there.
I will keep posting to let you know how the meds are and what side effects (if any) I get. I will be going back to docs on 3/16 to check up on my progress.
Take care everyone , wish me luck lol!
That's great that they are working for you , it certainly gives me hope ,
Post Edited (smiler) : 3/3/2007 6:29:26 AM (GMT-7)
Took the first one this morning - an hour or so after felt tired and sick , bit anxious.
It's now about 5hrs gone don't feel so tired now , no anx , nausea lessened - I'm going to try to eat something now.
So far so good
Day 3 - Diarrhoea this morning , so I took loperamide cos I had to get daughter to school. Nausea worse today , but still no vomiting , suprisingly (and unfortunately for my figure!) I have been able to eat as normal. Neck/head pain , which has gone now. Very "spaced out" earlier but that has lessened now (*tut* back to reality ). Sneezing?? Think that's probably something to do with dust (I'm soooooo ill I couldn't possibly do housework lol)
Everything seems to be going really well. I have been sleeping very well - although that might be due to the fact that my OH is sleeping in a different country to me
Also had some really good news , work has picked up for the spring so I am back to work tomorrow wooooohooooo!!!!!
Thanks zinnagirl , it was sooooo great getting back , yakking to people , knowing that I was accomplishing something , and getting some money back in the account is a nice thought too
Day 4 - Not much nausea at all today , diarrhoea gone , got a horrible dry mouth (does anyone know if this side effect goes?) ,headache , can't concentrate properly or focus properly - like when you get derealisation.
I think it's working for my anxiety - I'm not as paranoid , but I still have my shoulders in my ears....I'm not actually stressed but it's a force of habit to tense myself up...I though it would have made me more relaxed than this?
I haven't cried for days - that's one big thing I've noticed. I usually cry a few times a day even if it's just a few minutes in the bathroom so no-one notices. I don't even know if I can cry (hey , and I'm not gonna try either as this is a great accomplishment for me)....I still have very strong emotions , so I know I'm not zombified
I hope y'all don't mind me keep posting but I've read so many posts saying "what's your experience with drug X" that I thought it might help some people.
Thanks to everyone for helping me - I really appreciate it ,