thinking about checking myself into the hospital

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zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/27/2007 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
the last twenty-four hours have been hideous.  I have not eaten, and I have hardly slept.  I am exhausted, but I cannot sleep. 
 
Since I am unemployed, I have no insurance.  I just talked to the psychiatric hospital, and they want to put $5,000 on my credit card to cover my stay.  I can't decide to go or try to wait it out.  Five thousand is a lot of money, money that I need to use to pay living expenses.
 
Has anyone been in this kind of situation before?

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/27/2007 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zinnia
I am so sorry you are having to go thru this.
If you think that you need to go to the hospital I think you should. You have to be healthy and as you know depression can get so much worse if not treated.
Something to try.... does the hospital have a financial aid program that you can sign up for financial help? Most hospitals do. You will need to fill out quite a bit of paperwork,but even if they cover 1/2 of your bil that would help alot. If you check the hospitals web site,alot of them have the application that you can print out. Then you can have it filled out before you get there. And they usually have a list of items that you need to bring with you ie:bank info ect ect.
I have been admitted to the hospital for severe depression. By the time I finally went to the hospital I had not eaten for 5 days and could not even get out of bed.
Do not let yourself get that far. Do what is right for you.
Please let us know how you are doing

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

http://www.healingwell.com/donate

Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 2/27/2007 10:03:40 AM (GMT-7)


zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/27/2007 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Shy. Things are just getting worse here. I got black-balled by a recruiter who said that because I am refusing to go on an interview, I will not only be dropped from his firm, but all other recruiting firms as well. I really screwed up in my job search, and so now only do I not have a job, but I am so much further from getting one. 

I am all alone in my house as I type this, as I have been for the past several weeks since I was let go.

And now I feel so anxious and sick and worried and depressed and worthless that I can't even concentrate enough to put away a load of laundry, let alone get a job. I just keep screwing up.

Hi, I am so sorry but I have had to edit your post due to forum rule and regulations #1, of no discussion of self-harm.  I hope you understand, thank you ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 2/27/2007 11:47:03 AM (GMT-7)


els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/27/2007 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi zinniagirl, I am so very sorry for all that you are going through.  Please seek some help...if going into the hospital is not an option for you then perhaps you can give your doctor a call and try to get an appointment ASAP.  When you go tell them what is going on and hopefully, they will prescribe an antidepressant or whatever they deem necessary for you.  Please, please dont let this go even one more day without calling your doctor.  Depression left untreated can become very serious and dangerous.  I am leaving some links below for you if you feel that you may need them.  I hope that you wont need them but they will be here for you.  Please keep us updated on how your doing...we are always here for you.
http://spsfv.org/hotlines.htm

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/27/2007 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Elisha, for the links, above. I do have an appointment with my therapist, but that is not for another four hours. I am on anti-depressants, but I suspect that they stopped working, or stopped working as effectively, at some point.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/27/2007 12:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, that is entirely possible.  I just read a post from you on another thread where you said that your on 200mg Zoloft.  Is this right?  I was on Zoloft 200mg for well over 5 yrs and just all of a sudden it just seemed to stop working for me.  I was crying all the time, having thoughts of self harm, just a total mess.  I ended up in the hospital for health problems actually and my doctor had a psychiatrist come in and do an assessment and he changed me medication to Effexor XR.  So over time your body does become adjusted to the medications and they become less effective....I think Zoloft is a big one that this happens too.
 
Please hang in there and let us know how your appointment goes...my thoughts are with you.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


CRANKY 1
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Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/27/2007 12:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey zinniagirl,
 
So sorry to hear about your situation.  Being out of work is bad enough, but it sounds like you have been dealing with a highly unethical "head hunter".  Then, to add all the emotional stress, you have two different problems going on. 
 
First and foremost, you are in need of some mental health care.  Instead of checking yourself into an expensive psychiatric hospital yourself, maybe you should try going through your local Emergency Room.  If you describe all the details of your mental condition, stressing the physical self-harm issues, you could probably receive the help you need, without the concern of payment up-front.  You will probably be held for a period of time for observation and treatment, where you can concentrate on clearing out a lot of the negativity you are dealing with.  Also, being uninsured, the hospital should have a financial aid plan for people without insurance, anything from a reduced fee to a complete "write-off" of charges.
 
Once you have regained an adequate emotional balance, then you can deal with the job situation.  Like I stated previously, you have obviously been dealing with a highly unethical job recruiter.  He may say you are being "black-balled" by his company, but to threaten you with being "black-balled" by all other recruiters is criminal.  If you think about it, recruiters compete against each other for clients.  They need as many people looking for job placements in order to satisfy their clients' employee requirements.  Your recruiter is trying to bully you, pure and simple.  Unethical and stupid to boot.  I'm sure you would have no problem moving on to another recruiter.  You might also consider placing a complaint against this person/company with the Better Business Bureau.  If you are really ticked, as I would be, I would pursue possibly legal action again the recruiter for extreme emotional distress and illegal threats.  You would have your hospital records to back you up on the emotional stress thing.  I would check with your local Legal Aid agency to see if you have a prosecutable case.  Plus, as they say, vengence is best served cold.
 
I'm sure you can get through this, just keep your long-term goals in mind.  Hopefully, you have a friend or relative to help you through this rocky time.  If not, we are always here for you.
 
Keep your chin up and keep us updated.  We care.
 
Leigh Ann cool  

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 2/27/2007 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zinnia,

I'm sorry for what you are going through. Depression is such a horrible illness and you really need the right treatment. I spent 4 months in hospital last year recovering from depression and anxiety and it did do me good but I live in the UK so healthcare is free here. I find it so hard to believe how much you have to pay for healthcare abroad.

If you are really struggling and you really feel you need to be in hospital then you need to do the best thing for you health as your health and happiness is the most important thing. If you cannot afford this then make sure that you are getting proper outpatient care and support as you need help right now.

Take care and keep in touch.

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX

www.healingwell.com/donate


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 2/27/2007 4:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Zinniagirl, you are the only one that can make this decision and I know you will sort it out. In the meantime don't let any recruiters jerk you around. Recruiters work on commission. Some firms even give a stypend for interviews completed so it is only to his benefit for you to go out. Recruiters from different firms are in competition with each other and obviously this guy will say anything that he thinks will get you to do what he wants. Other firms will not blacklist you just because one jerk did. By my view you are better of without that kind of job hunting help. Get yourself straightened out with your feet back under you then with your head held high go back into the job market. You can do it and you will be just fine.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/28/2007 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I am back. Just reading all of your posts and supportive words, I am filled with gratitude, for this forum and for all of your caring good wishes. Thank you all so much!

I made it through yesterday without any self-harm. That is a good thing. Today I will also make it through without thoughts of self-harm or any acts of self-harm. Just one day at a time.

I did not go into the hospital. I hung on at home (thanks, in part, to this forum) as a dear friend sat with me, and then I went to speak to my therapist, who is also able to write prescriptions/dispense meds. She knows that I lost my job, and so she put me on a zero co-pay. She also thinks that the zoloft just "pooped out" and that, coupled with the sudden job loss, and the inclement weather, and the fact that I have been spending all this time alone, and then the fact that I got that e-mail from the recruiter threatening to blackball me, and I just lost all perspective. Yesterday I hit bottom.

My therapist also gave me a sleep aid, which I took. What a difference eight or nine solid hours of sleep makes!

So the plan is to stay out of the hospital, and to do that I will be seeing my therapist every day for the next week or maybe even two weeks or so.

I am thinking about going back to school to get a paralegal certification, and I am exploring that option today, making inquiries. Crankyone1 is right: I need to get on emotional terra firma and then go back to my job search. I am so embarrassed about getting fired, but then I tried to cover it up, and I got found out by not one, but two, recruiters, and so I am even more embarrassed. I should have been honest up front about the fact that I had been fired from my job as a legal assistant. Lesson learned. Honesty really is the best policy.

I need to go and check in with friends and family. I will be back later.

Again, thanks for your caring support.

zinniagirl

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/28/2007 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi zinnia
I am so glad that you are feeling better. You are right being able to sleep and also eating makes a big difference.
Please keep us informed on your progress.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Fussketeer
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 2/28/2007 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Zinnia--

Thank you for (unwittingly) making my day. You have a strength that comes through in your posts, and it is inspiring. You will get through this. Hang in there, take care, and keep posting.

Fuss


zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 2/28/2007 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Fussketeer. I am glad that I made your day.

Just got back from therapy. I am so much more balanced today, now that my perspective has been somewhat corrected. I was even able to be somewhat productive today: sat down, paid bills, and then mailed them out. Then I got my car serviced. Then I washed and vacuumed my car. Weird.

Still have a loooooong way to go in finding a job and in progressing in therapy. One day at a time is all any of us can do.

Warm hugs and love to all of you--

zinniagirl
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