Post Edited (?) : 3/2/2007 2:15:12 PM (GMT-7)
Hi there ? Welcome to HW :)
Feel free to vent your feelings here at HW..just have a wee look at the forum rules first ok..there are lots of people here willing to help out where they can.
You may wanna remove your email address from your post above - the reason being that you are so vulnerable to lots of spam, advertising and crank emails! Choice is yours of course.
Look forward to reading your next post.
Thanks. I'll have a look at the rules. The post deleted itself when I went to change it. oh well.
So, today was one of my worst days. I'm 16, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to get over a C on a math test. when I look over it, they are all really stupid mistakes. It's a real kicker in the self esteem. I want to get help, but some part of me wants to stay like this, as if I deserve it and somtimes I feel like I do. My parents are riding me about my dropping grades, but they don't seem to understand that it's really hard just to get up and start the day, let alone get 4.0 in school. I feel that I don't have ANY support from them, so that's why I came to this to try to make me feel better. But right now, I'm really down. It feels like no one cares about me. This might sound kind of self centered in a way, but I wish someone would notice me and help me. Thankfully, I'm not thinking of suicide.
I also have a question. Atleast once a day, I have these moments of extreme anxiety and I guess I could call it a panic attack. I hate these parts of the day the most. What can I do to help ease the anxiety?
Post Edited (?) : 3/2/2007 2:39:20 PM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (?) : 3/5/2007 1:27:38 AM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (Obtusely Oblique"OO") : 3/8/2007 12:57:52 AM (GMT-7)
Thanks for the advice OO. I changed my screen name. I do understand that it is odd to write to somebody that goes by "?".
Today was one of those worse days that I can have. I've been noticing that my concentration is slipping, and I tend to think more of all of the bad things that have happened to me. I find that I can't cancentrate on one thing for more than just a little bit. Even when I post, I stop and and I have to take a few minutes to figure out what I was going to say. It's really frustrating. I'm really concerned about this, because next week, we have state testing, and if I can't even focus and concentrate for more than 20 minutes, then my grades on those tests aren't going to be what they should be. I guess I can say that I finally got my mom to understand that I actually had something going on with me. She's helping me, but she STILL won't believe me when I say that I'm depressed. I feel so drained of energy every single day. It's not like it's anything new, but I'm noticing it more and more. I really do apprecieate all of your great advice, it really helped me in a lot of ways. Thanks
Thanks so much, OO, and xtx, I really think all your advice has helped me. I scheduled an appt. with my counsler, and it's set up for the week after next week, since we have testing next week.
I had one of my worst panic attacks today. It was before school, but throughout the day, I couldn't concentrate or do anything productive. I felt numb, and "somewhere else". Worst part is, I told my friends that I was depressed, and they all kinda pushed it away. I thought I could trust them, but they didn't care much. It's funny, you think you know someone, and then you open up to them, and they turn their back on you. To me, I really don't know WHO I can trust with my true problems, besides you guys here. You guys have helped me so much though, and although I said this almost a million times, I'm glad that I found this place. I'm feeling really down, but atleast I have the weekend to try to recover a bit from this week.
I finally figured out why I try to put everything on myself, and not letting anyone else help. It was partly because of my dad. He wants me to be PERFECT. He's the one who put in my head the thought that I was wasting my parents money. I think I'm a disappointment to him, and that I can never be perfect. He's always putting me down, or trying to. He just says those little things that finally got to me. I'm trying not to blame my dad in the starting of my depression, but I think he may have had something to do with it, without even knowing it. It reminds me of this little activity that my fifth grade teacher made us do. She put us into groups, and we each took someones hand, so that we were all tangled up, and we had to get untangled. She put two people who were supposed to be negative, and eventually, it got to all of us. I'm afraid to talk to my dad about it, because what he doesn't want to hear, he doesn't.
Atleast i'm feeling a bit better, now that it's the weekend, and I can try to relax and release some of that pressure. It'll feel good to just sit outside in the nice weather. (I found that that has helped me stop thinging those negative thoughts.)
Shy, I'm really sorry for your loss, but you don't quite understand. See, he wanted me to be a boy. My dad is chinese, and supposedly, to have a boy is way better than having a girl. He told me himself, that he wanted me to be a boy. Maybe that's his wierd way of saying he loves me, but the way he's showing his love is making me feel worse. I really don't know what to do. I can't show my dad "the way", because he probably won't let me. He's a smoker, so sometimes, he's a bit "cranky". It's really hard to talk to him, because it's clear that he favors my younger sister more than me. My sister is that biggest tomboy, and that might be why he likes her better than me. I love my dad, and I know he loves me, but I know that it'll never be as much as my sister. I don't hate my sister, maybe a little envious, but we're like best friends. Sometimes I feel like I didn't turn out how my parents wanted me to, and that I'm a disappointment. I guess, I can't wait for my appt. with my doc.
Do you have to take meds when you're depressed?