I sort of have the same issues with weight. I put on a lot of weight last winter and then levelled off. Due to my husband being laid off, I was forced to go back to full time work in my parents' office. And it came just before the winter. Over the winter the combination of the sedentry lifestyle and excessive eating while at work to counteract my boredom/dislike of my job, I put on a lot of weight - nearly 25 lbs. I know losing it would help the pain in my knees when I do a lot of walking but with my struggle against depression, I have had to realize that I can only take on so much at a time. And losing the weight is the lowest issue on my list because that alone isn't going to make my depression go away, on the other hand if I can get my depression under control, the weight issue might just naturally follow cause I'll have more energy to eat right and exercise. Plus I actually don't mind the extra weight in my shoulders and chest. I don't look scrawny anymore when I wear tank tops and halter tops. But my hips are another story. Problem is you can't pick and choose where you want to loose weight and you usually loose it first where you don't want to loose it, so for right now I'm just dealing with the issues behind the depression. And hoping that eventually everything will just fall into place. Between Christmas and birthday I actually have clothes that fit again so that has helped my mood a little bit. Wearing sweats all the time is not an uplifting experience!!!! Especially when even the sweats don't fit right because my dryer has shrunk them!!! Anyways, my advice to you is deal with your depression. The other issues, like weight, will naturally follow the healthier you get. I am even on sick leave right now because things got so bad. It's only my second official week off and it hasn't been so bad, except my kids have been sick, my husband's grandfather passed away this weekend and the family is in NS and we can't be with them or say our goodbyes, and to make matters worse it looks like the funeral is today and nobody even felt they needed to tell us that.... I wanted to send flowers. Plus with the time change, it's been a big adjustment. So my first week or so off have had their ups and downs but it's easier to manage them being off then if I was managing all this and working. Anyways, I got off on a tangent. I hope this helps a little bit. To sum up, often depression brings desires of eating lots of carbs, try to balance it out with lots of fruits and vegetables as best you can, and then worry more about
dealing with the issues behind your depression and everything, including losing weight, may just naturally follow as you start to heal. I also hope you are seeing a doctor/therapist to help you deal with your issues. Are you taking anything? Some drugs can make weight gain easier and subsequently, loosing weight more difficult. My cousin was on Wellbutrin and she gained a substantial amount of weight and it wasn't til she went off it that she was able to loose any of it. So that's something to consider too. Anyways, good luck with everything.
It would be easier to tell people I have cancer than it is to tell them I am severely depressed.....