Sassy.........Little Note Sweetie

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/17/2007 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi got your note and said I would reply so here I am
I am truly sorry you and hubby are going thru this
I know when I was growing up in the late 50's early 60's things were different back then
today you dont know what the kids are getting and how safe it is anymore
Peer presure is a dang hard thing for ANY teen I know Cait is going thru it too BUT so far I have made sure she knows there isnt anything she can do that I wont have done already or know about lol
Seriously sounds like your son got in with a really bad crowd and perhaps he wants out of it but is to afraid to look like a weenie to them all you know it is hard for kids NOT to be accepted I have one lad in my teen night I do and he told me he despised drugs his brother died from OD and yet he was pressured so much from other teens around here he gave in went down the tubes with grades and all
His family was so hurt and after talking to him I realized SO was he hurt embarrassed and felt he had done alot of bad to his parents he cleaned up has a new group of friends and comes to the Teen Night every time gets right into the music
He said it has saved his life now I am sure the more he thought about what he was doing and all changed him as well I dont judge the teens that come in I have a couple rules 1 no drinking n smoking
and 2 no drugs at all.....if I found out they were on drugs ( which has not happened ) I would have a moral responsibility IMO to talk to them and parents as well 
I think you need to let son KNOW you are his soft place to land and he can COME to you with anything open discussions about the drugs ( it is hard at times but we have to go to their level as well ) without anger or fear and talk about why is he doing this and what is he doing
Can you help him with anything and will he please stop so you are not worried he will not come home or lose his life
Can we have boundaries............ yes we can
YOUR house is the boundary
NO drugs
NO paraphanlia
Or if he cannot sign a paper saying he will abide by the House Rules then you and his Father have no choice but to have him move out
He is putting you's at risk with this behaviour as well .........
Yes you can be charged with DP here in Canada for sure and many ppl are charged everyday from a pipe to whatever
I am a firm believer in being honest and open and yet TOUGH love sometimes IS the only way to work thru this
You's may feel you are hurting him by giving him the boot but really you are helping him IMO...
I am sure he doesnt want to be doing this look at his past behavior it was great and school fantastic so as the say the best way to find out about behaviour is to go on past behavior
I honestly think he is butting yous; and leaving things just to let you know he wants to be found out
Heck ya he gets mad when caught bang up but at east it is a REACTION......
He has to be told there are no more ...in house and nothing that is associated with it for you n hubby's and for his protection
DO make it clear it is YOUR home you pay the bills and as such he goes to school does a few chores and have a happy family life start an "open Communication" with him if he will if he desists you keep up he will get it or get mad at it but you will get resonses from him this way
Tell him you will always love him but you cannot and will not watch him hurt and perhaps more to self
You are his mom accept the fact that kids mess up so do adults admitt your mistakes to him he prolly figures you dont do any wrong lol
My Cait knows different about me perhaps thats why we can discuss this
See if he needs tx or can he come off by self but find out what it is and email eme hum and let me know but do post to me as well if ya read on this
I will gladly help you out anyway I can I am not a professional as you know I just have a lot of hard learned lessons as many others do
Thoughts and prayers with you sweetie and your family
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT .........Know and hear that okay you have done nothing wrong it happens to the best families out there hun so do not be feeling guilty for what he is doing and putting you's thru
Loves ya
God Bless
LYN

LOL gave up looking for typos  


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
 
 
          ** When You FEEL Anothers Pain You FEEL Humbled ** 
 
   
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
                                     LYN
                                  
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/18/2007 9:16:54 AM (GMT-6)


Sassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 646
   Posted 3/18/2007 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
LYN, I sure hope you are right about him giving us clues. Last night--3:00am I was awake from a phone call. I heard him rummaging through the draweres downstairs. Then I smelled it again. Briefly, but the same smell. I wonder how hooked he might be. I read up on the stuff and found signs, symptoms etc. and feel maybe he has gone too far. I am scared. He came up and asked for a sleeping pill later. Thats a first. So he does talk to me. I did not give him one. My hubby & I are trying to figure out a way to approach him. I hope I don't blurt out something wrong. He does know most of my past mistakes too.

Thanks for advise. I will keep you posted.
 
Left sided UC dx 03
1200 asacol daily
30mg Celexa daily & rising as anxiety is back
Suffering from a bad case of menopause!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/18/2007 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Many ppl think there is NO such thing as a physical dependecy on that and there is imo
My brother was really bad
Cait knows all to well what I went thru as well
YOU are a great mom do not get stressed out this will work out hun I know it will
Keeping you in thought and prayers
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
 
 
          ** When You FEEL Anothers Pain You FEEL Humbled ** 
 
   
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
                                     LYN
                                  
                          
                                  


Sassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 646
   Posted 3/18/2007 11:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi LYN, my husband talked to him today. He said he is quitting and wants to go to University again. He said they only did pot 2-3 times a wk. cause they were bored. I wonder. I don't know how easy its is to just quit when the friends are still calling. Sad to say, but I can't wait for his girlfriend to return home from a trip. She is bipolar and apparently does not participate. But I'm not too sure. I have seen both poles and have witnessed my sons reactions. That is just another stress factor in my life now.

Change won't happen overnight. I must be patient. I cautiously asked if "he" thought he might be hooked. He proceeded to tell me the whole scientific reason why you can't get hooked on it. God give me strenght.

Lyn, how do you do it? Crohns, Alzheimer's and Anxiety moderator. I should not feel so sorry for myself. I have been basically in remission for 4 yrs from UC. I understand crohns can be so much worse. Hats off to you!

Sassy
 
Left sided UC dx 03
1200 asacol daily
30mg Celexa daily & rising as anxiety is back
Suffering from a bad case of menopause!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/20/2007 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL
Sheer nerves I say and a sucker for punishment lol
No seriously I just live and try to help where i can
I truly miss my Nursing and so this helps me keep that lil bit of it going in some way ya know
The crohns acts up but lately I have been fairly well and with dad in hospital I didnt think I would tough it out but I did
Stubborn I am did I mention that
Plus ya have to laugh hun really laugh at life and you will find plenty to laugh at believe me
If I wasnt able to laugh I would be constantly popping a benzo and crying in my gren tea ya know
so that how I try to get theu each day find something funny .........
Like today I was all stressed as my dads doc's wife was answering phone with 'Office is closed"
I finally called back as I heard rumors and she finally tells me he passed away on Sunday
MY God I felt so bad and so low for thinking such bad things about this doc and I was gonna go and give him WHAT FOR ya know ...poor guy ........Glad I found out real reason BEFORE I had opened mouth and inserted FOOT....I tell ya the things that happen in my life ...I should write a book

I am really glad hubby talked with son and this is great he has all good intentions back him as I know you will and I am sure this will be the end of it
I hope so and I will keep you in thoughts and prayers and remember sis .....
LAUGH
LAUGH>>>>>LOUD            tongue
Luvs ya
LYN

PS.. wasnt laughing at doc passing but at me if I had gone to His house and my shock especially if I went off half cocked as usual


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
 
 
          ** When You FEEL Anothers Pain You FEEL Humbled ** 
 
   
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
                                     LYN
                                  
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/20/2007 5:15:15 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/22/2007 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey sis
You okay
Worried about you
Post and let me know k
Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/27/2007 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hoping to hear from you soon
Have been missing you

LUVS ya
sis
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  

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