Hi got your note and said I would reply so here I am
I am truly sorry you and hubby are going thru this
I know when I was growing up in the late 50's early 60's things were different back then
today you dont know what the kids are getting and how safe it is anymore
Peer presure is a dang hard thing for ANY teen I know Cait is going thru it too BUT so far I have made sure she knows there isnt anything she can do that I wont have done already or know about lol
Seriously sounds like your son got in with a really bad crowd and perhaps he wants out of it but is to afraid to look like a weenie to them all you know it is hard for kids NOT to be accepted I have one lad in my teen night I do and he told me he despised drugs his brother died from OD and yet he was pressured so much from other teens around here he gave in went down the tubes with grades and all
His family was so hurt and after talking to him I realized SO was he hurt embarrassed and felt he had done alot of bad to his parents he cleaned up has a new group of friends and comes to the Teen Night every time gets right into the music
He said it has saved his life now I am sure the more he thought about what he was doing and all changed him as well I dont judge the teens that come in I have a couple rules 1 no drinking n smoking
and 2 no drugs at all.....if I found out they were on drugs ( which has not happened ) I would have a moral responsibility IMO to talk to them and parents as well
I think you need to let son KNOW you are his soft place to land and he can COME to you with anything open discussions about the drugs ( it is hard at times but we have to go to their level as well ) without anger or fear and talk about why is he doing this and what is he doing
Can you help him with anything and will he please stop so you are not worried he will not come home or lose his life
Can we have boundaries............ yes we can
YOUR house is the boundary
Or if he cannot sign a paper saying he will abide by the House Rules then you and his Father have no choice but to have him move out
He is putting you's at risk with this behaviour as well .........
Yes you can be charged with DP here in Canada for sure and many ppl are charged everyday from a pipe to whatever
I am a firm believer in being honest and open and yet TOUGH love sometimes IS the only way to work thru this
You's may feel you are hurting him by giving him the boot but really you are helping him IMO...
I am sure he doesnt want to be doing this look at his past behavior it was great and school fantastic so as the say the best way to find out about behaviour is to go on past behavior
I honestly think he is butting yous; and leaving things just to let you know he wants to be found out
Heck ya he gets mad when caught bang up but at east it is a REACTION......
He has to be told there are no more ...in house and nothing that is associated with it for you n hubby's and for his protection
DO make it clear it is YOUR home you pay the bills and as such he goes to school does a few chores and have a happy family life start an "open Communication" with him if he will if he desists you keep up he will get it or get mad at it but you will get resonses from him this way
Tell him you will always love him but you cannot and will not watch him hurt and perhaps more to self
You are his mom accept the fact that kids mess up so do adults admitt your mistakes to him he prolly figures you dont do any wrong lol
My Cait knows different about me perhaps thats why we can discuss this
See if he needs tx or can he come off by self but find out what it is and email eme hum and let me know but do post to me as well if ya read on this
I will gladly help you out anyway I can I am not a professional as you know I just have a lot of hard learned lessons as many others do
Thoughts and prayers with you sweetie and your family
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT .........Know and hear that okay you have done nothing wrong it happens to the best families out there hun so do not be feeling guilty for what he is doing and putting you's thru
LOL gave up looking for typos
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 3/18/2007 9:16:54 AM (GMT-6)