PLz...Need some advice..tricky situation

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Shreddah
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/19/2007 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Please take the time to read this.. i have no one else to turn to.
 
Well... I'm 15. As far back as I can remember i've led a happy life and been satisfied with life. I entered high school and made a few new friends, and life was good. Then.. it happened slowly. At first I was only feeling this way on sundays(weird i kno) . Soon it progressed to what i recognised as depression. I lost any interest in anything i used to do, and felt this lingering uneasyness in my stomach. After the first month of this.. it eventually fell into hopelessness and really bad feelings. To cope with this.. i started living my life in the past. Subconsiously i tried to recreate my life from the past so i wouldnt feel this way anymore. The weird thing is it started way after the only possible trigger i can think of happened.. my parents divorced and sadly it's my fault. My mom asked me who i would like to be with. Seeing as she had mental problems i said my dad.. and that was that. Then, i asked my dad to shedule an appointment with a doctor to see if i had depression or not. He of course ridiculed at this idea.. which hurt considering it took alot of courage to say this to him not to mention he had always been a good dad. so i went downstairs and tried to disregard it. Later on he came downstairs and said you think of whats wrong and you tell me...trying to redeem himself i guess. Later on when he thought i was asleep he and my sister were talking. This is the most important part of my ramble.. My sister said so what do think of this? He replied " i think he's stupid. He's got enough going for him to be happy..(he meant materialistically of course) Those words really hurt me. My own dad thought i was stupid because i was suffereing from a mental illness. So i tried ignoring this. It hasn't gone away since and im tired of it.
 
 I am sorry my ramblings are long.. but thats all the information regarding my backround.
 
 
Now.. the advice I ask of you is.... what am i supposed to do to get help.. my dad won;t pay for a psychiatrist, or accept that i have depression... and my school counsellor is very cynical in nature, not to mention a close friend of my mom so the last thing i want to do is talk to her. I just need to know what to do to be me again, i miss me.
 
plz reply as i need all the advice i can get..thx.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/20/2007 4:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shreddah
Welcome to the board. There are alot of great people here that have good advice.
Wow,I am very frustrated for you. Sometimes parents can't see the writing on the wall to save their lives....
Is there anyway that you can go to the doctor for a check up? Maybe if you said it that way to your dad it will at least get you in the door of a doctor. And once there you can tell the doctor what is going on. And then it does not matter what your dad thinks because if the Doctor says you need treatment then you will get it.
Also,I suggest posting on this board as much as you need to. It was a lifesaver for me.And we have alot of kids your age on here.

Also,there is no way that it is your fault your parents got a divorce.
I am a mother of 2 kids ages 16 and 19,and have been divorced for 5 years now. The kids are not the cause,they are the victims of divorce. Please remember that.
Do you have a relationship with your mom? If so,then since she suffers from a mental illness she would be the first person to understand,and if she still has her parental rights,then she could be the one that takes you to the doctor.

Please keep us posted,and stay strong


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

http://www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 3/20/2007 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shreddah, I am very sorry for all your going through sadIt is tough when parents get divorced and most especially when the kids have to choose who they want to live with.  I cant imagine the guilt that you must have over that.  I wonder if perhaps your worried that you have depression because your mom has a mental illness?  It is common for kids to get depressed or go through what is called situational depression when there is a major life change...such as what you have described here.  But since you also reported that you have always lead a happy life and havent suffered with any kind of depression or mental defects before then I would be lead to be believe that it is situational and most likely temporary. 

I do however agree that you need to see a doctor as any kind of depression symptoms need to be assessed and treated.  These cannot be taken lightly or ignored.  There are many online depression surveys that you can do (via google) and print off.  Perhaps you can do this and show it to your dad or school counselor...the questions are very clear and hopefully they will open their eyes and get you some help.  You can also do some research on it and print it for your dad, it sounds as if he needs to be better informed in this area and he needs to take your feelings seriously.

Please keep us updated on how your doing...we are always here for you


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 3/21/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
You have already received some great advice from the other posters. I just wanted to add that you might confide in a trusted teacher, especially the part about the counselor being too close to your mom for you to talk to. If you can talk to them, perhaps your mother's parents might also be of assistance as they are familiar with how to deal with this situation.

Stay with us here on this site and let us know how you are doing.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 3/21/2007 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi shreddah,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm about your age, and it's funny how our problems are so similar. My parents didn't believe me when I attempted to tell them that I was depressed. I couldn't even face my dad, I went to my mom instead, but I guess in your case, it's vice versa. That uneasiness in your stomach, does it fell like you have butterflies, as if you were about to present infront of the whole school? and as if it comes out of nowhere, for no reason? well I've found something that works really well against that. just go outside, and breathe. Just take it easy and don't try to do everything at once, other wise it might make it worse. (well, in my case, it did)

But really, talk to someone you truely TRUST. Because when you do, you'll feel so much better. It may fell like no one is there, or that no one cares, but there is always that one person who does. That might sound kinda corny, but it's true.

best of luck,

froggy

p.s. post often tongue


lisale70
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/22/2007 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
Wow, your dad makes me angry.  As you said, it takes a lot to confess to someone how you are feeling.  Pretty devastating to not be taken seriously.
When I was 16 I started seeing a counsellor on my own, as I just didn't feel comfortable confiding in my parents.  It was free and I actually got the referral after I'd called a 1-800 crisis line.  Perhaps that can be an option?
BTW, I am a now single parent of a little boy.  It is NEVER, EVER a child's fault when parents break up. Please believe that!
Will be thinking of you; let us know how you're doing, ok?
Lisa

zinniagirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 3/23/2007 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Shreddah, your dad makes me angry, too, and your story brings back all kinds of painful memories, especially the one where I told my father I was depressed and needed help. He was completely dismissive of my pain, and I was devastated at that.

Your pain is real. You are a person, and you have worth. And your feelings are not "stupid." They count. They have worth. Perhaps your father is too caught up in his own pain right now that he just cannot even face your pain. But you can. Keep seeking help from appropriate others, and you will find it. Schedule a check up with your doctor, even if it's for an ingrown toenail. Just get in there to see a doctor.

You seem like a great kid, very mature, very together. God Bless You. You are in my prayers.

zinniagirl

Shreddah
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/25/2007 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
wow.. i am amazed at all the support you wonderful people have given.. just reading your responses make my days easier.. thanks a lot!! i think i will try to go to a doctor, it;s just a matter of building up courage.. i did it once i can do it again. I would just like to thank you all for helping me and caring about my life!!!!

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I am glad you found this site - feel free to post whenever you want. We are always here to support you where we can.

I think that seeing a doc is a good idea and it is your first step to getting better. Let us know how you are getting on.

Take care

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Shreddah
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
As Victoria said we are here to support you as much as we can...but we can only do so much on the internet,getting a doctors help is a must at this stage.

Stay strong

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 7:33 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,494 posts in 301,027 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151186 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, debbixij.
280 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
John_TX, Huddie, Buzzlymeyear, franko63, Traveler, trumpet123, (Seashell)


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer