I can hardly take this anymore!!!

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scotsgal
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 3/26/2007 1:51 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Hi everyone. Just another moan from me. Hardly had any sleep last night and woke up this morning feeling so dull and down :( I don't understand this atall!! I just want to cry.I feel a teensy bit better now it is 9:52 am but I still don't feel good! There is not a day passes where I feel good all day without any of these awful feelings dominating my day. This horrible feeling towards my boyfriend still hasn't gone! Sorry for going on about it all the time but I don't have a clue where it stems from or why it won't die down! On top of all this my moods feel weird, I feel like I don't have some emotions well any, I feel numb and I don't enjoy anything I used to anymore for instance I went out clubbing with my best friend the other night and I didn't enjoy myself, I went out for a nice meal with my bf y/day and I didn't enjoy it. Its like whenever or no matter what I do I think back to the situation and my happiness and enjoyment seem missing from it, they are replaced with this horrible down feeling that won't leave me alone! I don't know why this started, why me? I have the docs and my councillor tomorrow, but I don't feel I'm progressing atall. I don't actually realise how rubbish I feel until I start writing and it all comes pouring out. I feel some sort of horriblr feeling towards my bf, like I dunno how to describe it, its like nothing about him makes me happy anymore. I really don't want to feel like this towards him atall, I want us to be happy again. 'I' want to be happy again. I just snapped over nothing and my world has been like this everyday! How do I get rid of this, I don't feel I can go on much longer??

jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 3/26/2007 3:48 AM (GMT -7)   
You really are going thru a rough patch scotsgal..poor u
 
When you go to the doc you must tell him how you are feeling - exactly like you have just told us..if you are on meds they may need adjusting - if you are not on meds, maybe it is an option you could consider - just to get you over this bad time. Not sleeping and feeling down and dull are classic signs of depression - I should know having been there and done that at various times in my life.
 
Is it possible that your relationship is really over with your boyfriend..and that maybe it is time to move on but you are afraid to go it alone?
 
Keep posting and let us know how you get on with your appts.
Maree
Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
"In any moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
Roosevelt.
 
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. 
 


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 3/26/2007 3:51 AM (GMT -7)   
oh my dear friend i`m sorry to hear this i thought that you were improving slightly .As for the feelings towards your b/f i know what you mean my hubby tries his hardest but it`s doesn`t seem enough any more i only feel ok when he is at work now and i know it sounds horrible but my feelings towards him have changed so much in the past 6mths .I to wish it was the way it use to be .
Hopefully talking to your dr and your councillor you might come up with a strategy to dealing with they way things are for you at the moment but i really think your meds need adjusting or changing .Hang in ther and ((((HUGS ))))).
Restless

scotsgal
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the comments, I don't know becuase he hasn't done ything and I really truely snapped one day was fine with him and the next i just felt numb, there was no reason for this change I hadn' been having doubts or anything towards him eveything was fine until I snapped I loved him more than ever. I'm not afraid of going alone atall as sometimes I think this would be the best option as if he wasn't tere I wouldn't have to boher but I really don't want to do this there is somethng there twingin throught he numbness, I think its my love for him trying to break through again, does that make sense?? Hes been my best friend for years and I we've been through so much together, I actually feel like crying as I'm writing this its awful, I do't want it to end I want it back to how it was, is it normal not to feel love or things like that when you are depressed?? I don't know if anyone can relate to this but its like I have some sort of anxiety towards him henever I think about him i get this short of breath feeling as I do when I read his myspace page earlier and as I did again when jordan mentioned that my relationshp was maybe over, can someone please give me some answers i cant go on...

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/26/2007 5:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Scotsgal
It is completely normal to feel the way you are.
For some reason when depression hits hard it seems as though we push the ones and the things we love away.
It is almost like we are punishing ourselves when we feel good about something because we think we do not deserve it.
I pushed alot of people away when my depression hit hard and to this day I wish I would have went to the doctor right away.

You can go on. Answers is something that we can only give you advice on.
Jordan is right, you need to tell the doctor everything at this point. That is the only way they are going to be able to treat you correctly.

Please stay strong and keep us posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

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"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


scotsgal
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 3/26/2007 5:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, I have phoned the docs and got an emergency appointment after my councillor session! I am on the brink of going crazy I hope they help me, I simply cannot go on like this. My mind has fine tuned me that I am going to be like this forever, that this IS normal and my relationship is as good as over but I don't feel that way well my heart doesn't I would kill to be happy again.

Redjeep
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1024
   Posted 3/26/2007 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
ShynSassy makes such a good point! We often push our loved ones away when we need them the most. I have visited here a couple of times but am usually at the crohn's forum. I do the samething to. I wonder if it's classic.
This feeling of blah that you'r feeling towards you'r boyfriend may not be what you really feel for him. It's only blah right now. I've been married now for seventeen years. And trust me with every crohn's flare I have I go through some depression. I probably would have left him "oh" I don't know. A hundred times or more in 17 years if I responded everytime I had that blah feeling?But I love him more than ever and thank Goodness he has loved me enough to put up with it.
I know how you feel
RJ

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/27/2007 5:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Scotsgal
I am so glad that you got your appointment...was that yesterday or coming up soon?
I hope you lay your heart out to the doctor as far as how you are feeling,and that they step up to the plate and get you the help you need and deserve.
Redjeep is right,in relationships and especially in ones where one is a depressant the "blahs" come more than you want.
Just simply ask yourself if you can imagine living without him at this point. If the answer is no,well then you know what you really want.

Good luck with your appointment and keep us posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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