I am new here and I thought I would try this site and see if I can get some help. I am feeling really depressed. I have never been to a doctor about this and actually have one set up on this Thursday. I have never felt this way before and I have no idea what to do.
I am a 25 year old female. I have 2 boys, 6 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. I am married, but recently I have been having troubles with my marriage. My husband is great though, it is all me that is causing the problems. For about the past 5 months or so, I feel like I have been pushing my husband away. He is really caring and tells me all the time that I look great and that he loves me etc......but I just feel like I have no love for him anymore. I feel hate towards him. I never want to be close to him. If he hugs me or kisses me, I pull away. I am wondering if this is a cause of depression or what is going on? I am a stay at home mom, I also babysit during the days, I am a medical transcriptionist from home and I also go in to work at a local clinic during the nights. I am extremely busy, but I like to stay busy.
I feel like I am also slowly distancing myself from my friends as well. When they call, I don't answer sometimes or if they call when I am not home, I usually do not return their phone calls. I have been feeling like I do not want to be married anymore and that I just want to be alone. (don't get me wrong, I still want to have my boys around, I love them to death).
I have no ambition to do anything anymore. I just feel BLAH, if that makes sense. I am seeking medical help, I just wanted to hear others opinions as well.
Do you think I could be feeling this way because of depression? Could depression be the cause of me feeling that way towards my husband.
If anyone could give me any advice it would be great.