Depressed because I'm either paranoid or cautious.

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Violet*Valerie*Valella
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 3/31/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Maybe I'm not crazy, but I always think I'm going to die. I freak out on my parents if they're speeding or going over the yellow line because I think we'll have a car accident. Or I don't do things like go for a walk around Blvd lake alone because I think I'm going to be jumped or raped. I'm even scared someone will come inside my house and kill us, no matter how much my stepfather says he'd fight back and keep us safe if it ever did happen. My unofficial aunts say I should go back into consoling if I'm acting like this.
 
Could somone please respond and tell me what they think.
 
---Kayla

jordaNZone
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 3/31/2007 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Kayla

Counselling sounds a plan to me..if you have already been to counselling in the past it may well only take a few sessions just to get through this rough patch and get on track again.

Wondering if you have spoken to your doctor about how you are feeling these days, and are you on meds?

You are not alone with these thoughts Kayla, believe me...have you been thru this before?

Keep posting..and take good care.

Maree


Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
"In any moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
Roosevelt.
 
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. 
 


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/1/2007 2:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Hiya Kayla,
 
Councelling sounds like the best place to start. Can you remember how it started? If councelling doesn't work for you (and it doesn't for everyone) you could try seeing a specialist at the hospital. They may be able to help you. Also your family doctor maybe able to do something in the way of meds to help you in the short-term.

You are certainly not on your own with this one. There are loads of people out there who suffer the same thing.
 
Darren
 
 
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/1/2007 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kayla,
Is there something that has set you off for any reason? Or did this just come out of nowhere?
I suffer from major panic and anxiety attacks,and I too find myself getting up throughout the night and making sure the doors are locked. Or if I hear sirens and my b/f is out driving I call him to make sure he was not in a wreck.
It is very hard to deal with. And I agree that counseling might be an option for you..


Stay strong and keep us posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


Violet*Valerie*Valella
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 4/1/2007 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank for your help guys, it means a lot.

I had tried counseling, but that was to deal with my anger problems, and I didn't tell my counselor about these thoughts. For a matter of fact, I decided not to go to my counseling sessions because I didn't see it helping (I have problems with speaking to a total stranger about my problems)

No Maree, I'm not on meds, nor have I spoke to my doctor. And I haven't been through this before.

I've had these thoughts since maybe I was around 7 years old, possibly younger! But not so frequent and not as bad as this. They were usually how the people died when I finished watching a horror movie. I don't remember my thoughts back then, but I do remember when I was 10, I was sitting in the passenger seat, and my stepfather was driving. I remember becoming all tense because the car in front of us had a boat on the back, and a large transport behind us, and I was afraid the boat would detach from the car, and out small blue car would hit it, and the transport would slam into us. Yes, it was strange, but i was only 10!

My father is a little (maybe more!) paranoid like I am. Whenever we are at his house, he would never trust us to open the door, afraid someone would try and break in and kill us all. Which is why he kept a large knife beside as he played the computer. Perhaps I "inherited" it from him.

Thank you for replying again, and I'm glad I'm not the only one :-)

---Kayla
1.2, go after 5
mom, dad, forgive me.
i have lost my mind
 
6.7, finish at 10
i have commited a sin,
i had lost control
 
*1st verse: Tatu  2nd verse: me


els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/1/2007 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Kayla, Thank you for adding somemore information here.  Everyone has a certian amount of fear that bad things will happen to them at random times...however, when this becomes an obsession or a compulsive behavior pattern then certianly there is a problem there.  I relate to how hard it is to talk to strangers but counselors are there to help you and it is a safe environment for you to discuss what your thoughts and feelings are without judgement or criticisim.  I agree that counseling may be the best choice here but also I think that you may need to discuss some of these things with your mom as perhaps a visit to a psychiatrist would be beneficial here.  That way you can be evaluated by a professional doctor who is experianced with mental disorders.

You mentioned your father who you believe suffers from some sort of paranoia.  It is true that mental illnesses can be inherited or passed down from one generation to the next.  However, since you also said that you witnessed your fathers behavior at such a young age I would have to wonder if this is an actual illness or learned behavior from what you have seen.  Young children are very open minded and easily a negative situation or traumatic event can stick with them for life and continue to cause problems for them as adults.  Please do talk to someone about this and see about getting some help for it.  Keep posting too...I hope you find it helps.  Take care


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Violet*Valerie*Valella
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 4/1/2007 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Perhaps it is a learned behavior, but I didn't see my father as much when I was younger then I do now. Counseling may help me...but it's hard for me to talk about my feelings, but I suppose you're all right. Whats harder is actually asking my mother to put me in counseling or something...

Again, thank you for your support! I will eventually go up to my mom...
Violet*Valerie*Valella
^^^
I have personally changed my name


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/2/2007 4:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Luck Violet I really hope your mom will point you in the right direction.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


Violet*Valerie*Valella
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 4/2/2007 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
She will, but I just have to tell her...I don't why I'm so scared...

Again, thanks for your support:)
Violet*Valerie*Valella
^^^
I have personally changed my name


josey
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 4/2/2007 10:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Violet,
 
I hear ya about all that, i dont have it as bad as you do, but i know the feeling of worrying someone will break in at night or something.  I think thoe, that the difference is is that it doesnt controll my life as it sounds like it does for you, but let me make one suggestion, if the horror movies make you kinda freaked out and think about if it could really happen, then, STOP WATCHING THE MOVIES lol, i dont watch any horror movies, not evan the commercials becaudse i konw what they do to me, and i prevent that from happeneing.  When i was younger i didnt watch the horror movies, and put something in frount of my bedroom door at night etc.. and that helped alot.  But i didnt think of things during the day, i was acctuely pretty fearless,
but i think its time for you to grow up, take some responsability, and get some help.  Every second you deal with all this from this point on is i believe your own doing because your not actively doing anything to get help at all, your evan making it worse, your unmedicated (not that that would for sure help but...), your not seeing any doctors about it, your not talking to your mom about it and your making it worse by watching scary movies and watching your dad do the same thing,  the way i see it is if you for real want help and want to get better you need to actively be persuing getting better, other wise you probably never will.  And i know people on here can be a big help, but noone on here can help you as much as a doctor/phycologist can,
 
good luck and take care, i hope only the best for you :) and keep us posted

Lucillemom
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 4/5/2007 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I worried like you about the same issues. It is always in the back of my mind. I rely on my faith to get me through the times were it starts to overwhelm me. I find repeating Phil 4:13 helps me get through the difficult times, when I am scared.
This is my favorite verse that get's me through the ruff times.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13
Diagnosed with Crohn's when I was 28yrs, 2001.  Was in denial for 4yrs. never took medication, until after my first child was born in June 2005. Now, I pop more pills than my 88 year old grandmother.
Hemi and Fissure surgery that developed 2 abcess deep in my left cheek, by my rectum...(oh how fun!) Medication: Asacol 12 pills a day, Immuran 100 mg, Welchol 4 pills a day for diarhea, Leviquin 500mg, Flagyl 2 a day
Thank God for my adorable daughter, who makes me smile everyday!

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