Stuck in a rut.

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/4/2007 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I am 21 years old, in college, should be having the time of my life with friends and going out ect... but I just can't. I have been stuck in a rut for the past 4 or 5 years. It seemed to start when I started dating my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 years and we are best friends. The problem is that the only thing that I ever want to do is hang out with him. and him alone. And he wants the same thing. I went from having tons of friends and giong to parties (even though I suffer from social anxiety) to having only about 2 or 3 friends. I just can't do anything anymore. I can't go to class, I can't talk to people, I can't go out and have fun. I am just so uptight and my shyness has come back even stronger. I have been going to a therapist for about 6 mo. but its not really helping, I hate going. And I am taking zoloft, which I don't think is working either. All I ever feel like doing is staying home and playing with my dog, or taking naps with my boyfriend. I am always drained of energy. I am always comparing myself to others. And I am so depressed about not having any friends that I don't know what to do. I have tried my hardest to get to know people, put myself out there, try and get some friends... but I just can't seem to do it. Today seems like the worst of all days.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 4/4/2007 4:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi AJFancy,

Did you ever consider that something else could be wrong? Maybe see your regular doctor...get a full physical done. I tell that to a lot of people just because I went through it. I showed a lot of depression signs and was concerned about that, but started noticing other things. I had my doctor run a bunch of tests and finally was diagnoised with Lupus. I still suffer from depression, but I am also starting to deal with my other problems caused by the lupus and it's really starting to help me. Just a thought.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/4/2007 5:01 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi there,

Firstly, I think you need to see your doctor. If the Zoloft doesnt seem to be working, there may be other drugs used to treat social anxiety disorder and depression together. Also, it would be worth mentioning that the therapy isnt working either. Have you told the therapist that it started when you met your boyfriend? Possibly if the Zoloft isnt working for you, the social anxiety is starting to grow and you only want to spend time with your boyfriend because you feel safe and secure with him.

I assure you that you can do all those things that you mentioned, its just that you feel you cant do them at the moment for some reason. Perhaps it is a low self-esteem or a lack of self confidence. But you can do it.


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/5/2007 7:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aj
Welcome to the board I am really glad that you found us,and you will see there are alot of great people that care,and have great advice here.

Wow,did I read myself right into your post... Before I met my b/f I was a regular party animal,except I was depressed taking meds and drinking..not a good combo.
Now,it is usually just us,and I have to really push him into going out and doing something because I can't stand sitting around here all of the time.
My suggestion is start slow, see if you can hang around with another couple that you both like and go from there.
Then start with a night out to yourselves with a friend.
It is not really a bad thing that you don't go to parties ect,maybe you have just outgrown that part of your life before anyone else has? You are content with your b/f and feel safe.
As far as the meds I agree that you really need to go to the Dr and tell them it is not working. And go from there.

Please keep us posted and stay strong

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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