HEY....im new...

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Whatever007
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/4/2007 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
First.....this isnt just a site for women is it? I dont know if I've seen a male post, I've read through a few. If so, I'll leave you all in peace, with best wishes.
 
If not though, I think this could be a nice place to  post.....you guys seems so supportive of one another. Right now, I've self diagnosed myself with major depression, and Im currently actively seeking a counselor. The depression I sat on for way to long...its probably been 5 years since I was "myself". Its too long a story, but I've completely isolated myself, no work, and have been way too depressed to go to class.
 
I wondered if you guys could point me in the right direction.....when you feel like you guys are at the complete bottom and it cant get any worse...how do you cope, healthily?  My dumb ass turned into a pothead trying to cope. Pot lead to guilt, more isolation, more depression....so I know that nobodies gonna say, go blaze one. Im at the point where Im going to be in this house all day, watching my daughter, all the while cursing myself out for letting my life progress like this. I know that wont do me any good...so what do I do now?!?
 
I've called all these docs, message machines. Got an appointment for next tuesday......but Jesus, I cant feel like this in my head everyday until next tuesday. Im eagerly anticipating therapy......I'd like it to at least start to get a BIT better. My question to you all is, what can I do for myself till then? I dont have friends around here, just broke up w my girlk so.......darn.
 
 
Does any of that make sense?? Sorry if its rambling nonsense. II guess thats whats in my head right now.

IFIXDIT
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 4/4/2007 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
No this isn't just woman to post. I haven't been active for a while but I feel the need now for some assistance and reading about similar problems let's me know I'm not alone. Your situation is not unique from what I've read in the past and your not alone. Men seem to seek advice or help only when in a crises mode. I would start by trying to find even the smallest "positive" in your life,( your daughter?) and build from there. From my own experience the habit of self blame and self redicule only digs the hole deeper. We have all made mistakes. Mine was alchohol. I quit drinking for the second and hopefully last time on new years eve. You have taken the first step by calling for counciling. Don't stop. One step will lead to another and then another and then you will find yourself walking forward. Don't let the stumbles distract you from the goal. It's no crime to lean on a crutch now and again. By a crutch I mean other people, your councilor, your physician, your family and the people here who are trying to find the same answers you are. It all makes sense when you find the key to the puzzle.
Ifixdit

Whatever007
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/4/2007 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks fixidit. Appreciate the feedback. I think your right on about men only seeking help while in crisis......otherwise, if all was going well, I'd just bottle it in. Yes, Im trying to focus on my daughter. I feel badly for her that she has me for a father though.....I wish I could give her more, ya know? But Im so screwed up, its like I cant.

Another thought I had........Im SO shy. Painfully shy. Didnt talk to my girlfriend for about two weeks AFTER we'd started going out. I've been to counseling before, but for short periods......couldnt ever really open up. I feel so guilty about alot of my stuff, that it seems impossible to just spill to a stranger......any advice on how I can prepare myself ? Anybody?

IFIXDIT
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 4/4/2007 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been to a dozen therapists, at least it feels that way. It does get easier and I'm sure that eventually I will find the right one that clicks. The last one told me that he'd heard it all and nothing would be a suprise. I guess if the person has been in the biz long enough they might have really heard everything. My suggestion to you is your there seeking help and they are there offering to help. Put it out on the table. A proffesional will not judge you. But they should act as a sounding board to help you find the solutions that fit you. As for the feeling of guilt about your "stuff" I would bet you haven't invented anything new in the way of "stuff".

Whatever007
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/4/2007 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
This is true......i likely have not invented anything. I really do wonder though, if it IS me, rather than an illness. Just for starters, my choices led my to have a child at 17, so my impending enrollment at Duke (I was SO set to go) gets cancelled. I kick the bleep out of myself, pretty much daily, for blowing such an opportunity, and that started me on this downward spiral.....so then I cut myself off from everyone, and kick myself everyday for runinging so many relationships with people I care about.

I think maybe my fear of opening up has less to do with the content of what I did, and more with this voice in me that says "well this is completely a hole you dug for yourself. So lie in the bed YOU made."

This forum is full of people who deserve symnpathy for what they've been through, full of those who by no fault of their own find themselves depressed. That I am not one of them makes me feel like I dont belong here, dont belong in therapy, you know what I mean? Im scared to death that the fact is I am just an a-hole who made terrible a-hole decisions. If thats the case, Im doubtful that can be fixed.

jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/4/2007 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi 007...So out of all this negativity comes something positive..you have a daughter for which you are taking responsibility - not everyone does this as you know, so you go to the top of the class in my book..well done and congratulations 'Dad' yeah be proud and give yourself some praise! 

Once you start counselling you are gonna start feeling better I am sure..in the meantime just chill..think positive and keep us posted. I am sure Tase will help you along the way too.

Maree


Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
 
"In any moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
Roosevelt.
 
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. 
 


IFIXDIT
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 4/6/2007 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi 007, I checked out for a day. Your not an A-hole, youv'e just made HUMAN decisions. My malidies are similar to yours in that I can very easily convince myself that no body but me is responsible for this mess I'm in. It's true I screwed up. I continue to screw up. But the reason we are here is to find help in making better choices. I read the other comments and think to myself boy, I don't have any room to complain or feel sad. The truth is we all need help. We all belong. No one here has ever said go cry on another web site. You never know, your words might be the key to helpng someone else find the hope and courage to take that first "step"for themselves. Take your next step. Remember your goal. You can't "fix" the past, but you can choose your future.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 1:03 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,543 posts in 301,224 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151337 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, hellokd10.
171 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Laceymyaalayah, Girlie, platinumpixie, celebrate life


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer