Barely holding together

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froggy1011
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/4/2007 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been feeling more depressed these days more than ever! I hate these ups and downs that I keep having. One hour I'd be normal and happy, and then the tiniest thing happens and I go spiraling down to the depths of depression. I feel so sick of this, and so helpless. All around me, my life is falling apart. Everyone is avoiding me, and I feel horrible! Does depression EVER go away on its own?
 
froggy
 

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/4/2007 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   

I just thought of something, and I was hoping you guys could help me. Ok so I'm finally going to the doctors to have me checked out abd get help for myself, but how do I tell him? I can't just come out and say "I'm depressed, help" It doesn't sound quite right. What should I start talking about. I'm horribly shy and hate to canvey my feeling out loud. Do you guys think you can help me?

froggy


stronglady4me
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 4/4/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Quite honestly I would say, "I'm depressed and I am coming to you for help". It tells the doc exactly why you are there and you can fill in details from there. You have nothing to be ashamed of and don't owe anyone an apology or explanation for how you are feeling. Any doctor worth your time to see will know that and understand.

Good Luck
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


Dee75
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Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 4/4/2007 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sure if it's a good doctor, he will understand all that you tell him. Doctors deal with patents with depression all the time. Wishing you the best. Dee

scotsgal
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 4/5/2007 1:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Just tell him everything you are feeling, let it all out, he can't tell anyone and won't think any less of you, not that he has any reason to, but I know how hard it can feel. Anyway let me know how you get on!!

Katie x

djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/5/2007 3:22 AM (GMT -7)   

I agree. Tell the doctor you think your depressed and you need help and then backfill the details as he/she asks for them. Make sure you say everything that you feel is important as well though. Dont just answer the doctors questions and walk out. I hope you get on well at the doctors. Let us know how you get on.

As for "Does depression EVER go away on its own?" Not as far as im aware. Self-Treatment is a possibility but i dont think it is very successful. Unless you deal with the underlying cause it comes back. Its a bit like mouldy floor boards. If you only clean the surface mould off then it comes back. If you treat the mould within the floorboard (or replace it, I suppose) it doesnt!

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/5/2007 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Froggy,
I am glad that you are making the first step in getting help. That is very brave,and you are going to feel alot better once you leave that office.
My suggestion is to sit down and write a list of all of your symptoms before you go. Then just simply tell the Doctor that you wrote a list of what is going on so you did not forget anything.
That saves you from having to go through it all face to face with him basically.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/6/2007 2:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks to everyone. My appt. is today and I hope it goes well. I'll keep you guys posted!

froggy

redrose
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 4/6/2007 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Froggy: I had a bout of depression many years ago when I was a teenager - about 16. I did not seek treatment because my mother - like most everyone else in that era - didn't think depression was anything other than an emotion. It lasted about 2 yrs. So, yes, depression can go away on its own, but 2 years was a really long time to suffer. Hope your appt. went well. Keep us posted.
Redrose

Undiagnosed symptoms for many years. Dx w/ Crohn's in 12/06. Sm. Bowel resection (60cm.) 1/07
current meds: Imuran, pred., pentasa, kristalose, probiotics, omega 3, temazipam, oxycodone for continuing pain

Count your blessings - not your problems


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/7/2007 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Yah. I went to my appt. yesterday, and it didn't take long for him to guess depression. He put me on Cymbalta or something like that but he sadi it would take a little bit until it starts to work. My mom is really supportive now, but my dad is just the opposite. He's always calling me a complete failure and that I'm so stupid that I'd have to work at McDonalds for the rest of my life! In school, I have a couple of A's and the rest B's! It's so frustrating, and I woudn't dare confront my dad about it. His fuse is really short if you get my drift. Every passing day I feel as if I'm getting worse and worse.

froggy

Veronica000
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/7/2007 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Don't give up on feeling better. I have been taking medication for my depression for 17 years now and it's really nice that you are not treated like a crazy person anymore. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. Think of it as diabetes, no one blames anyone for getting that.

I feel so bad for you that your dad is so mean. I also grew up feeling like I was never good enough and it wasn't until I started seeing a therapist that I am now able to build my self esteem back up. Now I stand up to my father and he's like a fifth grade bully - all talk. It gets easier as you get older, when you are living with your parents it is much harder. Please don't ever think that hurting yourself is a way out. You are much better than that.

Hang in there and know that there are many of us out here that suffer like you do. The good thing is that we can come to a place like this and commiserate and feel better and not so alone. :)

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/7/2007 4:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Veronica000,

Thankfully I have no intention for suicide or anythin like that. If I was able to do that, then I would have no problem getting on a roller coaster ( something that I'll NEVER do.) It sucks because I know that I won't get better with my dad doing this to me almost everyday, and I can't really get away from it either. I love the days that he's not around and when he is around, I try to stay clear away from him, but he somehow finds a way to ridicule me and tell me of everything I'm doing wrong at that moment. (sigh)

froggy

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/8/2007 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Right now, I feel compleately empty. Somehow in the back of my mind, I think that nothing will ever help me. I truly think right now that meds are just an excuse to make you feel better, when in reality, all they are doing is masking your true problems. Maybe that's why people go to counselors and such, but I am utterly terrified by them. Just the thought of someone watching and "judging" everything I say is bone chilling to me. Maybe I have social issues. I truly feel like a failure right now, and that I'll never move any further in my life than today. Everyday just seems to repeat itself. Wake up, feel better, something happens, feel depressed once again, and then attempt to go to sleep. My friends are trying to help, but they don't fully understand, and are just making things worse. I exploded infront of them and they are finally leaving me alone. I know I shouldn't have done that, after all they were trying to help me, but somehow I couldn't help it. I spent the rest of my day silently weeping, and for no apparent reason. It's not like this was the first time I've felt like this, but today it seems to be extra bad. Is it the meds? I feel miserable and.... this feeling, it's hard to explain, a deep dark clenching feeling I guess. It's always there, even in my dreams. This has to be the worst day of the week, and it just started!

froggy

IBS FROG
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 4/8/2007 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Froggy: (That is also my NICKNAME) I used to fill the same way you do about the meds and counselors, I still am not sure on the counselors since I havent found one that I liked but I am still trying, I know I can not do this on my own. Noone I think fully understands you unless they themselfes have been in your shoes and in your pain, but they can help you sort it all out and move through it all. I was in a LOW SPOT where I had unhealthy thinkings and I knew that I had to put all my thinking about the meds and what not aside and do something before I was in real trouble.

Please hang in there, I know easier said than done but somehow someway things will get better. (again, easier said than done)

HUGS
IBS FROG

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/10/2007 11:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I can barely hold it together today. This morning, I actually spaced out for a full thirty minutes. Now I feel so teary and it's really hard to just keep the tears in. I got in trouble with my teacher today for not listening. I feel as if I can't do anything right! I feel like just skipping the rest of school and crying my eyes out. My mom is trying to help me with cheering up, but I've noticed how my negativty and depresed feelings worm its way into my whole family. I feel so guilty tha they have to suufer along with me. I seriously considered running away, but I knew it would hurt my mom even more. I really can't figure out how to truly express what I'm feeling like.

I have aquestion to all who are taking meds. How long did it take you for the meds to take effect? I read some posts here, but somehow, it seems like meds havn't done their job. I have great doubts with my meds, and I was wondering if anybody was still feeling depressed even if on meds.

thanks,
froggy

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/10/2007 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Froggy
First of all do not feel guilty about your family,at some point it is their time to be there for you.
Simple as that. If your mom knows what is going on,then don't you worry about how she is feeling because believe me that is the last thing she wants. You getting better is the most important thing.
Now, meds can take up to 2-4 weeks to take full effect. I wish it was overnight,but that is not possible with any at this stage I guess (we are all still waiting for that one time happy pill!)

Here is some info I found about your new med
www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/cymbalta_ad.htm


Please stay strong and talk to your family,you need all of the support you can get!! Also,keep posting on here,everyone will want to know how you are doing.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/10/2007 10:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the info on the meds. I'm feeling a bit better right now than I was then, but I have this horrible feeling in my chest. It might be anxiety, because that's what my doctor told me I probably also had, but it's keeping me from even laying down. I'm all nervous, but there isn't any reason for it! I know that this come up in depression, but it's never really been this bad. Is it the meds? or is this just another part of depression?

froggy

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/10/2007 10:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been thinking lately trying to think of an instance that might have started it and I think I may have found it. Seven years ago on the day of September 11, (2000) My grandma died, but before hand I got to talk to her. She was having neck surgery, and the day before, I got to visit. One of her friends was there and because I was so shy, I didn't say anything, not even good bye. It's hard to recall this event, because I hate myself now for being so shy. I never got a proper good bye and the last time I saw her, she was in a vegetable state with tubes everywhere. I think I'm cursed. I can't do anything right, I'm so secluded, that I'm not taking in my life to the fullest, and I'm an all out failure. I just feel like laying down and staying there forever. I feel so.......helpless.

froggy

djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/11/2007 4:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hiya Froggy, (I LOVE the name btw! :-) )

As for the pain in your chest, it is possible that it is part of the anxiety that your doctor told you about but I would expect it to come and go; getting worse when you are more anxious. If it is a constant pain then I would say its probably not the condition but the meds that are being used to treat it. I would go back to see your doctor and tell him and see what he says. It could be that the meds don't 'suit' you and that you need a different med.

As for the trigger event, I think it is perfectly normal for most people to feel guilty about not saying good-bye when they had an opportunity. Especially when it was their 'personality' that stopped them. That aside, im sure your grandma knew that you loved her and im sure she doesn't blame you. Perhaps this is an event you should discuss with a professional? Im sure you are not a fialure either, it just feels like you are. When you feel like that, try writing a list of things that you have achieved over the last year. They could be big things like getting an A on an exam or smaller things like seeking help with a medical condition. They are all successes and if you have acheived them then surely you are not a failure! Its all about challenging your method of thinking. If you can prove to yourself tht something is logically untrue, you can start to believe it is untrue. With reference to taking your life to the full, try just doing something once a week and start to build it up gradually. Perhaps joining a sports club is for you. (Squash is a GREAT sport. You can play by yourself if you want and it doesnt matter how hard you hit the ball it doesnt bounce back too hard... unlike tennis balls!) If sports are not your thing then maybe a reading club or gardening... stuff like that.

There are loads of people out there that love you. Maybe take some support from them

All the best

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/11/2007 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
It's probably the anxiety doing it. Thanks Darren.
Today so far I'm not feeling as depressed, but these headaches are killing me! I have migraines, but luckly it's not that bad. (whew) I'm planning to take up tennis, but I just can't find the motivation to do anything but go to school and do my homework. It feels as if I use up all of my energy just on my regular schedule alone! Atleast I can say one thing that I'm really happy about, on both of my math tests I got A's! Can you believe it? A's! Usually I get C's and no more that low B's. I felt that my mood lifted a bit more when I found out. (yay). Although I still feel like I can't do anything right, atleast I know that I'm trying my best n the situation I'm in right now. :)

froggy

ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/11/2007 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Froggy
The words that did not come out of you are not your fault. I am sure she felt what you didn't say.
What you need to remember is your personal relationship with her. If she knew that you loved her,well then that is all that matters.
I too get the pains in my chest,and that is the panic/anxiety attacks.
I know it is very frustrating right now,but you have got to give it more time. Healing takes time.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/12/2007 11:41 AM (GMT -7)   
eyes  Hey Froggie......
Please know that this will be the hardest fight of your life.  I have often asked God to give me a terminal illness instead of depression so I can see the monster I fight.  I relate with the feeling of ok and then not. 
I have struggled thousands of different things for my depression but I still fight the battle every day.  The biggest fear I have with depression and feeling like this is the fear of becoming more hopeless than I do today.  There is always a tomorrow.
Teresa
Teresa

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/12/2007 3:15 PM (GMT -7)   

Actually, today has gone pretty well. Although the feelings of anxiety still plague me 24/7, I havn't really felt "down" this entire day! This has to be the longest that I've felt like myself. Maybe it's the meds, but I wish this feeling would never end. Sadly, I can already feel the happy sensation wanning away, being replaced by that familiar dark scary feeling. I went to see my doc, because I was having some really strange symptoms with Cymbalta, and he put me on a different med, Celexa I think 20mg. These days I have been feeling slightly less depressed, but my anxiety and tiredness are increasing. It seems that no matter what, when one thing goes away, I get something else. I'd go from dehydration to the flu, to another cold, to bronchitis and so on. Now this! I knew it, that happy feeling is gone now. In just a matter of minutes it's gone. Now I'm feeling more depressed. (amazing how I changed feelings while I was typing!)

froggy


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/12/2007 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
You might need to wait another week or so for your meds to be fully effective. The fact that they do seem to lift your move is encouraging. I can completely relate to the idea that your mood changes as you type. For me, its because as I type, I start to think about the things I am typing about. (Fair enough you might think...) but if I am talking about the last time I was depressed, I then think about how it felt and that colours my mood and then I end up more depressed than when I started!
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/12/2007 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
yah I guess so. Maybe it's not always good to go back and talk about things when it'll only make it worse!

froggy
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller

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