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nothingman
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/13/2007 7:50 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello all, I am new this board. I would like to share my problem with you all – perhaps you may have some suggestions. I am a 25 year old male. I finished university two years ago. Since then I have been in a few of jobs – the first two were pretty crap and it knocked my confidence back, the one I’m currently in is okay and I like it. The problem is that since college – perhaps during it too – I have become pretty disillusioned with the world.  I have not seen many of the people I went to college with since then. Occasionally I would meet up with some of them, but they are more like associates who meet up with me when I contact them.

 

So overall, I feel pretty low at the moment, and my confidence is quite low. A lot of the time I feel anxious, like a state of emptiness and sadness. I usually spend my weekday working and don’t have anything to do at the weekends.

 

Another problem I have is with the city I live in, the most common social activity is going to bars and drinking, and for me I don’t drink alcohol and don’t enjoy this activity.

 

Sorry if this sounds like me rambling on; I would appreciate any advice,

 

Cheers.


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/14/2007 12:17 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Hi and welcome.  Have you been seen by a doc for how you are feeling?  That would be a good start to understanding why you feel like you do.  I understand the situation with bars and the social scene,  I usually cant even get the energy to go anywhere.
Good luck and let us know!!!
Oh, and by the way, this is a great place to ramble!! yeah :-)
Teresa

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/14/2007 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nothingman,
Welcome to the board,I am very glad that you found us.
It sounds to me that you are going through a major life change right now. Most of it could be called growing up...sometimes after college people go their different ways. It does not mean they don't want to be friends with you they are just trying to make their own paths and sometimes it really consumes your whole life.
I think it is time to venture out and start doing the things that you enjoy. I bet that if you do you will start meeting people that have the same interests.
What other interests do you have?
And as far as the job,I understand about not being happy with the ones that you get right away. I am glad this one is working out,but if it doesn't just remember you are young and I am sure have alot of experience,so you are able to shop around.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


AronMica
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 4/14/2007 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   
would you say it is because you feel alone? A lot of mine is brought on by a feeling of being alone. Since i graduated from high school i do not talk to anyone that i graduated with. It is sad because now all i do it work all the time and really dont get out and have any fun. My life is predictable and dull. Really the only answer for me is to keep my mind busy. If i stay busy then i dont have time to think about being down. But i do miss the fun times, but i guess it's part of growing up.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/14/2007 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi nothingman, Welcome to healing well forum we are happy to have you join us here.  Shy is so right about about the friend situation.  It is difficult when people graduate from high school and college as the friends they made there often times grow distant and move on with their lives.  If your in a situation where you feel alone and isolated this can be very depressing. 
Perhaps you can find a group or something that has similar interests to you.  Such as maybe taking a salsa dance course if your into that kind of thing...or maybe joining a local gym.  Getting out and doing some kind of physical activity hopefully will help boost your self confidence and help you to meet other people.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


nothingman
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/14/2007 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello…thanks you all for your replies, I really appreciate it. I definitely think it helps to talk about these things, even if it is on a message board. I don’t really have anyone to talk about these issues that I know.

 

It sounds to me that you are going through a major life change right now. Most of it could be called growing up...sometimes after college people go their different ways. It does not mean they don't want to be friends with you they are just trying to make their own paths and sometimes it really consumes your whole life.

 

Perhaps you are right here; it is a difficult time after you graduate and now alone in the big bad world. I think my problem goes further than that though – I never really had many friends growing up, even in high school. It wasn’t as bad when I went to college, I has some friends, but at the same time not too many. Most of these were friendships were on an individual basis; in other words, I never really have a large circle of friends, I meet one friend one day and the other the next day.



Would you say it is because you feel alone? A lot of mine is brought on by a feeling of being alone. Since I graduated from high school I do not talk to anyone that I graduated with. It is sad because now all i do it work all the time and really don’t get out and have any fun. My life is predictable and dull. Really the only answer for me is to keep my mind busy. If I stay busy then I don’t have time to think about being down. But i do miss the fun times, but I guess its part of growing up.

 

I would agree with the first part of this. Since college I have felt quite alone and isolated, as a result, it is also predictable and dull. I find it difficult to keep my mind busy; sometimes when I’m working I have this painful aching feeling like I’m trapped inside a prison or something. In other words, I can’t escape this situation; I’m lost and can’t find the exit door to escape. I used to listen to music, read or watch movies – this used to keep my mind occupied. But recently I can’t enjoy these things as much because I too unhappy to be entertained by them. It seems like material pleasures are not the true source of happiness.   

                                                                                                                              

Perhaps you can find a group or something that has similar interests to you.  Such as maybe taking a salsa dance course if your into that kind of thing...or maybe joining a local gym.  Getting out and doing some kind of physical activity hopefully will help boost your self confidence and help you to meet other people.

 

I have got proactive in this area…I attend a gym a few times a week; I am also taking a night class one night per week. I started this four months ago, I agree it does help, but at the same time I am a little disappointed as I still haven’t made any friends. For instance, at the night course there are only six other people taking the course, the other five are in there 50’s and 60’s so we don’t have much in common – on a positive note, the lecturer is in her early thirties. I get on okay with these people, but we don’t end up hanging out after class or on weekends.

 

Just to let you know that I am a bit shy, but I don’t have any problem talking to people. I am quite talkative and will usually talk to anyone. I would admit that I wouldn’t be too courage’s approaching strangers and starting a conversation, but if it was the other way or mutual I would be okay. What is quite frustrating is that some people seem less social able with less to say than me, and still end up with more friends.  It’s like I’m one of these people who can get on okay with everyone, but still end up having no friends.

 

Oh, it’s getting late, nearly time for bed. Gotta head now; again, thanks all for your comments

 

Cheers.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/15/2007 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
I too am very shy around people,and really have to force myself out of it. Sometimes I go into panic and anxiety attacks when I know I have to meet new people. I hate it. But,I found that I can post away here and talk about almost anything.So,this site has helped me alot.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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