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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 4/13/2007 11:23 PM (GMT -6)   
I have suffered from major depression since i have been 12. Our family has a history of mental problems. But there have been times that i thought about death. Although i would not do that to myself or my family; depression is a very powerful thing. I refuse to take anti-depressants because i tried once before and i felt so weird. I am fearful of them to be honest. I want to let you guys know that no matter what life throws at you, things can and will resolve themselves.

My depression is a disease that i will die with. I have accepted the fact that i get depressed easily. I mean, i do not sleep at night because i constantly worry about things and then i get depressed because i feel like i have no control over my life.... when in fact i do. Depression for is a puddle of self pitty. But in some cases is a cry for help. I thought about suicide because i never saw another alternative. It was like that was the only answer. Truly it's not. Let me be the first to say that there are other answers out there. Let me leave you with this. Dont worry so much about your sickness and focus on the things that make u smile. Because we only get to go through life once. No matter how bad things are... there is always a positive around the corner. Life is what you make of it.

My depression is far beyond words. I scare myself at times.. and i understand exactly what everyone is going through. If anyone would like to ever talk or anything. feel free.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/14/2007 2:13 AM (GMT -6)   

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/14/2007 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
You are a strong person Aronmica and I commend you for this :-) I see from your post that you have suffered from major depression since you were 12, can I ask how old you are now?
Do you 'fight' depression everyday?
Have you ever been to counselling/therapy?
Do other members of your family take meds for depression?
Sorry to ask so many curious how you cope on a daily basis :-)
Forum Moderator - Depression
Forum Moderator - Anxiety-Panic Disorders
"In any moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 4/14/2007 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I will be 20 in October. Yes, depression is an everyday struggle for me. I have my good days, but then i am really down and out. I know it's there no matter how i express my emotions. It's really hard to say i fight it.. because that would mean there is a winner and a loser. I cope with it. I know it's a force that is more powerful than me. I accept the fact that i am easily depressed. It is who i am and i am comfortable with that now. I have been to see a quite a few counselors. Most of which want to give me some type of medicines... which i am not up for. In my opinion they make u more of a zombie than what u really are.

My family does have a history of mental illness. My Grandmother was in the state hospital for a long time when she was younger, because of her suicidal thoughts and attempts. My mother had to raise her siblings while at same time taking care of my grandmother. It was later decided that she suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. Which is a scary thought. I try not to worry about things.. because that will lead to my downfall again.

A few other things that help me deal with depression are music and writing. I love to express my emotions regardless if they are depressing or not, because no matter how negative they are, they mean something to me. Hopefully if i can share my experiences with people then they can relate and find an escape other than medicines or suicide. I'll be the first to say i am not the strongest individual mentally and it's a weakness that i will deal with.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 4/22/2007 12:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I commend your sharing and your strength. I have to wonder though if you need to be suffering this way. What sort of quality of life does this give you. Just because one med didn't work for you doesn't mean that a different med would be the same. There are many alternatives and you don't have to live this way. Best of luck.
Walk in harmony

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