Hi Sour Kraut,
I lost my mother when I was 22 (I'm 58). Her death was my first death. In 6 months after her death, I lost my grandfather, divorced, and lost my job. Sounds familiar doesn't it? I got therapy back then and was lucky to find a good therapist right off the bat.
What helped me most was group therapy. I realized I wasn't the only one going through really tough times. Until then, I felt I was the only one and I felt so alone.
I remember one session that really got to me, and when I dealt with it, helped me a lot. Someone in the group asked "If your mother was alive, what would she want for you right now?" I remember crying my eyes out because I knew she would want the best for me and would want me to have a happy life. I'm tearing up now thinking about that moment. I'm still touched deeply by that question.
I decided then I was going to beat my depression because that's what mom would have wanted. I got back to deciding what I wanted out of life and going for it. I went back to college and got a degree. I had always felt like a person who should have graduated college and I had dropped out. I say all this to prompt you to think about what you want for your future and to then... go for it.
I know how hard it is to go for things when feeling depressed. I literally had to take things one step at a time. When I say one step at a time, I remember telling myself, "Just get out of bed. Don't think about anything else, just get out of bed." Once I got out of bed, I thought, "Now just take a shower." And so on. Obviously I was very depressed.
It took a while, it was difficult, but I got my degree while working a full time job. I kept setting goals, both small ones (daily ones) and more long term. It helped me, it might help you.
The day that turns your life around will be the day you say, "I've had it" and start making some plans to move forward. Or it might be the day you decide, "I'm going to fight to keep my wife." If you make that decision, tell your wife, "Your husband is on his way back." Ask her to give you time and to work with you to reach that goal... and much more. Plan a new life with your wife that gives you both something to look forward to.
I truly wish you the best. Keep in mind that direction determines destination. Decide on the destination you want to arrive at, set your direction toward that destination, work hard and make it happen.
Post Edited (ekalski) : 5/8/2007 7:03:52 AM (GMT-6)