A MOTHER'S DAY, MY PERSPECTIVE ON WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!

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faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/13/2007 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Mother's Day for me affirms  that I do have a reason to be here!  I look at my children and know that I did something wonderful with my life. Especially today. I looked at my son as he sang a song he learned in school. It was about how I  was the greatest mom. I will never forget the excitement he had this morning as he prepared to sing it. Along with it was a laminated picture with his hand prints and a picture of him with the song he couldn't wait to sing. I thought to myself, what if I would have taken that handful of pills last month? I would have missed the most beautiful song that I ever heard in my life.  What would he have done with it knowing that his mommy was not here to hear this beautiful song?  Would he have cried and been sad because he couldn't see his mommy ever again?
********************* 
And if I would have taken those pills, I wouldn't have watched my 20 year old  getting out of her fiancee's truck carrying the gifts she couldn't wait to give me because she knows that I was just as excited because her gifts are always so clever :)  The wonder and joy in her eyes as she watched my eyes well up with tears because the gift she gave showed my life in perspective showing me snapshots of my life with my children and my relationship with the man I was to marry and his daughter who was to be her stepsister.  Tears of loss and memories good and bad streamed down my face, she wiped away my tears as she teared up as well. Instead....she would be standing next to a grave marker crying.  All the memories in the little album that I had enjoyed so much tonight would be the same memories that people would view  as they visited to offer condolences to my daughter and family.  Her wedding day would go on without me by her side. When she was born I remember thinking before I know it I will be the mother of the bride........just think......I almost wasn't.
**********************
 And if I would have taken those pills,I would have not talked on the phone to my daughter Briana and would not be able to tell her how much I miss her and cant wait to see her smile in a month or two. Would she understand that  not all mother's days would be spent apart and that alot of effort on both parts would bring plenty of togetherness in the future?  I was able to tell her that the sound of her voice makes me happy and that I think of her every day.  There would have been no phone call, only a question of why was my mom so sad that days like today didn't matter to her?  What did I do so wrong?

Today, I thank God for the faith he bestowes on me every day.  Today I thank God for the ability to see the gifts that he gave me and how fortunate I am for these children.

Even in my darkest hour, I know that there are many people that could go on even if I cease to exist.  I also know that the 3 people that would suffer the most in this great big world are the reasons I am alive.

I want to thank healingwell and everyone on this forum for the gracious gift of caring.  Without many days of support in my deepest and darkest despair, my children and I may not have been able to have this wonderful day!
Thank you guys so much!


Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".

Post Edited (faithfully4you) : 5/13/2007 9:33:09 PM (GMT-6)


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/14/2007 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
That was beautiful Teresa
We are all so very lucky to have our kids.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/14/2007 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  I am so glad you guys enjoyed it!  I was extremely depressed last night after the kids were gone and Sunday nights are so hard for me anyway, so I sat down and wrote exactly what I was feeling from my heart!!!!!!!
 
It is so hard to have this awful illness and live day to day but looking at your children does make it worth while.
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


Jaglady
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/15/2007 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   
faithfully4you

I am so proud to say is this is my beautiful daughter. I want to thank everyone in the forum, who extended their hand and took my daughter into your hearts and felt her pain. Let me tell you something about my daughter. She is the oldest of five children. She is beautiful and I always tell her (she has a body that would stop a clock) she has won numerious beauty contests, and oh can she dance? OH yes.!!!!!!!
She can wright, and I hope one of these days we will be reading her book. I love all my children, but she has my heart.

She has as been so so unhappy for many years. As her mother I understand, we share this deadly depression, and I feel so very helpless, when I can't help her. She has been through so much in her life, and I am sure she has shared those desperate times with you all. After reading her email it sounds like she appreciates life. I hope everyone got a chance to read it.

(The Mothers Day Perspective) on why it is so important. It is great to hear her talk about the future, and what would have happened to her children had she have took her life. There were alot of times, I thought I would never see my baby alive again, that she had reached the end of her rope. Now I feel so much better for her, she has this forum. I want to thank you all again and again from the bottom of my heart for being there for her. Please continue to pray and help her, she has alot of faith and for the first time in years, I know she is going to be happy and content with who she is. She has a beauthful heart and loves everyone she meets. She would give you the last thing she has. She shows God's love in so many ways, it just comes easy for her. In her darkest hour, I have seen her pull herself up, because someone needed her. She is a God sent and she is my daughter.

From a very proud mom, I love you

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/15/2007 4:54 AM (GMT -7)   
That is so sweet.
Faithfully you are very lucky to have someone that cares so much about you!
I envy you,and wish I had this kind of mom.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/15/2007 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah Shy~
Thank you so much for the compliment!!!  Yes she is quite a mom!!!  She lives over 800 miles away but she takes care of me like she is right here!!  I love her so much!!
I welcome you to let her be your "adopted" mom, she would be so flattered, being a mom is what she has always loved to do!!!!
Consider yourself adopted!!

Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/16/2007 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Woohoo! That would be awesome.
I have never had a good relationship with my mom,was always in her way and she did not want to be a mom that is for sure!


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/16/2007 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah  SEND HER AN EMAIL AND MAKE HER DAY!!!!!!!!!!
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/18/2007 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Today i  am reading and reading this topic!!  Today has been a day where I am not sure if anything is worth what I am living for.  I know my kids are the reason but today I just really have been devastated and questioning my reasons for trying every day.  Please dont respond to question how I can feel like this after such a beautiful post.  I cannot even answer that question but I do know this, I am not made of metal or steel.  I am human and I have recently asked
God on several occasions why must my burdens be so hard.
 
I am tired of being strong and need for someone else to pick up the load for me.  I am so weary and just wonder why People just wont let me grow and be happy.
 
I am so tired!!!!!
 
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".

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