Negative results, now what?

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faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/15/2007 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   
sad  As most of you know I recently had an appointment with my neuro doc where in frustration on both our parts he turned off my implant.  On that day he stated that he was more concerned about the physical symptoms and recent episodes with loc and sight impairments.  He stated that I was a walking heart attack and that I needed to be proactive with it.  With that I also asked for a blood test to determine what the toxicity of the drugs I have been taken were in my blood stream.  This could be an issue as why I am having the fainting spells and vision loss.  He agreed and the tests were performed.  I got the results the other day and as I knew they would be, they were negative.  Now for those that don't understand what this means, it is not a good result to have in my case.  It actually interprets that for the last 10 or so years of taking a ritalin derivative, there is >.1 which is like saying there has never been a drug like that in my system!  After contacting the office to ask what to do with a result like this, I was told, "we don't know".  I wasn't even asked how I was doing with my implant turned off!
 
This is where I am now, I am crying every day because of things that I am dealing with that I will never get over, I cry almost all day until my son gets home then I try to put on the face that everyone sees.  I have stopped writing for now because of having to do my own research on my health, and the feeling of being totally alone is more than I can take at times!!!!!  My mother does what she can but she knows that I am the one that has to do or d.....  I got tired of watching my son have nothing to play on in the yard so I decided to get him a swingset.  This is were the thought of really being alone started to set in......How would i get the s/s?  How would I get it together with the little bit of ambition and the ignorance of reading directions for a set this complicated?  All these questions ran through my mind and I cried.  Long story short......my landlords who are my mother's extented hand were there for me.  I was able to get the s/s home with their help and they even gave me power tools to use.  THAT DID EXCITE ME I THOUGHT HOW FUN:)  I put that set together took everything I had but I did it myself.  However, now I am in a splint with a swollen hand and severely torn tendons!  Once again, I am alone and wish for someone to be here and at least care about how I am going to manage things around here.
 
To make things worse in my research I found nothing but bad news relating to reasons surrounding my negative results and what physical conditions are related.  No surprise, a doctor interested in what was going on would have found that whether or not the physical symptoms are treated, long term damage (which is what I am experiencing now) will lead to sudden death.  I know that at anytime I could feel faint and have a heart attack and there is nothing I can do about it. 
 
I am trying to get into studies through medical sites so that we can locate the toxitity in my brain and what if anything I can do to fix it.  I was even told by "a" doctor that he didnt know who to send me to when dealing with something as serious as this.  Oh well, my implant activation wasnt important either.
 
Sorry guys but I am just really sad and yes, afraid that I could actually be here at this minute and have a dizzy spell and that be it.
 
My input to anyone that is taking any type of amphetimine, legal or not.........go to the websites I can provide if ok with our mods.  If it isn't ok, you can do a google search for stephanies story, it deals with a child and the drug, it also applies to us as adults.
 
 
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/15/2007 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Teresa, I am sorry about your results sad .  I have to wonder what all your neurologist is doing for you?  It doesnt sound like much at this point.  Have you considered maybe getting a second opinion from another?  If you have heart issues or concerns then you really need to see a cardiologist. 

See, I have fainting spells too and yeah everyone is differant but mine were coming from two differant sources one was an extremely low heart rate (was in the 20's so I had a pacemaker implant) and the other was due to really low blood pressure.  Which I still deal with and have to take medication to keep it up but often times I am dizzy and unsteady on my feet because of it.  It is all due to an autonomic disorder which is something that my regular neurologist who treats me for my MS, had no clue what was going on...my cardiologist caught it and sent me to a Movement Disorder Specialist who was able to do the proper tests and confirm diagnosis.

So my whole point is dont give up, if you know something is really wrong then keep pushing until you find the answers you need.  It is your body and your health care at stake here...you do not have to stick with the same doctor and just take there lame half answers lying down.  It is fustrating I know but dont let them beat you!  You ARE a strong woman and deserve better.

I can tell you long for someone to lean on with all these issues and the weight of everything you carry.  Maybe not just someone but that "one"...and I wish that for you too (your hopes that you have posted before).  It is difficult being single, not having that feeling of being completed or even supported, someone you can just talk to about these things face to face.  I just wanted to say that your truly not alone, you have a son which is a wonderful gift and you have your mother.  So you do have people in your life who are important and you can build positive things around that.  You also have us...who you know you can come to at anytime and find support when you need it.  We are always here for you.

I am sending you a huge HUG today because it really sounds as if you need hun.  :-)


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/15/2007 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
ELISHA~
 
AS I STATED IN ANOTHER POST, YOU ARE ONE OF THE STARS YOU SEE IN THE SKY AT NIGHT WHEN IT IS REALLY DARK!!!!
 
I WAS SITTING ON MY PORCH THE OTHER NIGHT LOOKING UP AT THE STARS AND REALIZED HOW PRETTY THEY WERE,  I KNEW THAT PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME WERE SITTING UNDER THE SAME STARS.  AT THAT MOMENT, JUST THAT MOMENT I DIDNT FEEL ALONE.
 
YOU AND THIS SITE ARE ACTUALLY SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD TO AT THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND END OF THE DAY.  openING THIS FORUM AND SEEING A REPLY TO SOMETHNG THAT WAS WRITTEN IN HOPES OF FEEDBACK IS  ALMOST LIKE GETTING THAT SPECIAL LITTLE GIFT YOU ALWAYS WANTED, GOOD OR BAD YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS GIVEN TO ME WITH ONLY YOUR BEST INTENTIONS!
 
I KNOW I SOUND REPETATIVE BUT,    ELISHA AND THIS FORUM ROCK!!!!(AS MY SON WOULD SAY;)
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/16/2007 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so glad to hear that hun!!  YOU ROCK too yeah   tongue

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/21/2007 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
This morning I must have passed out as I was standing in the living room after feeding my fish and I the next thing I know is that I was laying on the floor.  Nothing hurts but my nose was bleeding.  I put a call into my doctors but as usual no call back.
 
This is about the 4 or 5th time this month this has happened.  I have had some visual blackness in my peripherals too.  I think that is probaly the high blood pressure though.  I dont know what is going on with me but as usual I have reached out for help and here I am, I am actually not even worried about this being serious anymore because it just seems as if noone cares that this is happening to me.  I only hope that it doesnt happen in front of my son. He will be here with me alot more when school is out and he will have more time to see something.  I have noticed that this is happening either early or late in the day.  When I am really upset, my nose has bled and I get really short of breath and can hear the blood rushing in my ears.
 
My site of my vns has been painful too.  What else?
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/21/2007 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so PROUD of you and your getting that swing set up come Hades or high water
YOU rock
Hun in your sons eyes the sun comes up in the morn because of you and it sets because of you
I wish you only the best my heart thoughts and prayers go out to you
I was in the same place a few months back finally I broke totally flipped I asked daughter to leave for school about 10 minutes early as I was afraid of what was going to happen .....not to her but to me ..I called the doc andspoke with his nurse said it was IMPERATIVE I get in immediately
I was there in 20 minutes and thank God for that .....I ahve come out of it and I realize it was bescause I still had not dealt with My Moms death .....no closure ......nothing and still would have thoughts she was home on the couch .........

Again you are in my heart and prayers ......LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
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   LYN                               
                          
                                  


sassyfrassy
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 224
   Posted 5/21/2007 11:27 AM (GMT -7)   

Theresa,

FWIW, you MIGHT want go to a cardiologist. Unexplained fainting can be a symptom of a serious heart condition.  It could be that your heart rate is too low or it could go too high. How do I know this you ask?? LOL I know this because I have a defibrilator. The ONE time in my whole life that I fainted was when it went off. My heart rate was up too 300 BPM (thats Beats Per Minute)! If I had not had my defibrilator I probably would have died.

 When your heart rate drops or jumps up that high, all the blood pools to the heart to save the organ in trouble, hence causing the "rushing" sound and the lightheadedness and BAM! Out you go. Please call your GP or if you dont need a referral call a cardiologists office. Get this checked out, it isnt something to play with. You could be at home,, at the store or DRIVING when you pass out. DONT WAIT on this PLEASE!

Slow/Rapid heartbeats can happen to anyone at anytime, you do not need a history of heart problems for this to happen. I am in the 30% of the population that is known as an ANOMALY: I have a heart problem with NO history of having issues with my heart or previous problems. It was found by accident, for lack of a better term when I had my gall bladder taken out. Long story short I needed a defibrilator. I was 37 yrs old when they put it in.


dx: congenital spondylolisthesis L4, L5-S1:
in english I have 2 slipped vertebrae, no disc material
defibrilator (implanted 1/02)
rx: endocet 10/325, tramadol 300mg, tizanidine 4mg, cozaar 100mg
 
There arent any strangers here, just friends you havent met yet :)

Post Edited (sassyfrassy) : 5/21/2007 12:32:57 PM (GMT-6)


Sunnivara
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 5/21/2007 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Fainting and changes in peripheral vision can also be signs of dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Has it been hot where you are lately? Are you getting enough fluids, or on a low sodium diet? Are you taking medications that cause fluid loss such as diuretics for blood pressure?

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/21/2007 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy~ thank you so much for your post.  I understand what you are saying and to tell you the truth I am actually scared to death about it.  I have called my doctor but they as usual dont seem to take me seriously,  remember when I said I would mean more to them as a statistic?  I had a day today where after the initial morning I was ok and actually had a visit today that made my heart beat like it hasnt for many months.  I felt some chest pain when it was occuring but nothing happened.  When I go in to have my vns turned on I am going to mention it to them again.  I don't know if you saw any of the research I have done about the results I got but they are categorized by similiar symptoms you stated.  I just believe God has let me deal with so much hardship lately that this is nothing to deal with.  I do get concerned about the driving thing and have really tried to get errands and things done before my son gets home so that we are not out in the car too much.
I will let you know what happens and I am giving you ((((((((hug))))))))) for your concern :)
 
Sunn~ I just wanted to take a minute and thank you as well.  Unfortunately these are not the reasons for my symptoms.  I was a paramedic/ff for 10 years and can usually desiver between basic symptoms and ailments..THANK YOU though ((((hugs))))!
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


loveiskind18
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/23/2007 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
confused I really dont kno how this thing works but i do kno that i love my mommy so much.She has been through so much and sometimes i feel really gulty for making so many bad choices. yes my mother has depression and im going to give u a kids side of view on how it effects me and many other kids.
************************************
i was having a conversation with my mom on the phone after getting in a lot of trouble. It hurt me so bad to here her cry but it was like I didn't know how to respond to her tears. I was thinking i have already disappionted her today and i thought if i said something wrong or something didn;t want to come out the way i wanted it to I would hurt her even more. I cried and felt so gulty for not knowing what to say. Sometimes when i think about my mom i wonder if she is okay and if she is doind well.sometimes i get so worried about her i call her and leave her a message on her answering machine. I love my mom so much that i would give up my life to see her happy and so depresed.
************************************
eyes  me and my mom did have some really good times together. I love her so much i know that she will make it through no matter what. It makes me so happy to here her voice when she is happy and it makes me happy to see her even sometimes she may not be in a good mood. My mom loves me so much but depression gets in the way of her showing it...once before she said that she cries but she feels no emotion inside. i know my mom can make this through and one morning she is going to wake up and see me by her side telling her that it is over and that she doesn't have to be so  sad anymore. One day she is going to go through this and wake up being happy and wake up to know that today is going to be a good day.

TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 5/23/2007 3:38 PM (GMT -7)   
loveiskind18: from your user name, am I to assume you are 18 years old? Bless your heart for caring so much about your mom and wanting to help her. I'm sure she knows how much you love her; but as you said, she sometimes can't show it.

Don't you ever think that you are in any way responsible for your mom's illness. You are to be highly commended for standing by her, supporting her, and loving her through all this. These years are difficult enough without the added worry and confusion of dealing with a sick parent. Try to remember: YOU did not cause her illness. YOU cannot cure her illness. This is out of your control, and maybe even hers.

You sound like such a wonderful person! Please don't let your mom's sickness overtake your own life. Is there anyone at all for you to talk to about what is happening in your life? Even a school counselor might be able to help. I was very pleasantly surprised to find and Episcopal priest to talk to when I was about your age, and he helped me so much - free of charge as well. Hugs and best wishes to you.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/24/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  loveiskind~
yes your mother loves you but you have to realize that until you make more of an effort to show her with actions and not words then it will continue to show as depression.  the thing that we learn some of us later than others is that actions speak louder than words!!!!  Maybe your actions have not compaired to your words.  You know anyone can say one thing but it is tougher to DO IT!!!  Alot of committment and pain, things you dont want to do you must, tears you dont want to cry you do.  It is all a part of growth, change is never easy but i can assure you that you MUST START THERE!!!!!  There are never going to be enough words without true actions!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".

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