CONT. JOURNAL FOR "AM I EVER GOING TO BE COMPLETE?"

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faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/17/2007 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I WANT TO ACTUALLY TAKE MY CONCERNS TO THIS FORUM.
As I stated in this topic, I have been having issues with my doctor with them giving me the care that I need with this VNS and their lack of compassion and medical duty.  This is a personal reference for me and anyone is welcome to add any comment.  I really feel that I need to do this on a forum that I trust.
Elisha~  I am not sure how to go about attaching previous references made to this VNS issue but I would love to have them posted on here.
 
I will start with this:
 
April 20, 2007~ VNS turned off in doctors office.  I expressed that I did ask for it to be turned off in anger because of the treatment by the office I felt I was getting, I asked to turn it down a little because I was afraid of becoming severely depressed again.  I was told no that right now it would be turned off because of the way I was handling things in my life and doc felt it was an added stress for me.  Blood work was done in regards to my amphetamine level.
 
May 12, 2007~Received a call from Laura from docs office stating that the results were negative for this drug, I questioned what do I do now, "I dont know he just wanted you to have the results" No concern or questions asked about I was doing off the VNS.
 
May 16, 2007~ Called office and left a message for Laura at 8:30am.  The message was left in an urgent voice(non aggressive) asking to ask the doc to let me come in to have my VNS reactivated because I was not doing well and that the doc that he referred me to has denied me treatment because of my financial situation.  Concerned with having no care and wanting to come in to have my implant turned on.  I asked to please call back ASAP.  As of 4:30pm the office is closed and no phone call was returned on this day.
 
May 17, 2007~11:00am and still have not received phone call from the office regarding my concerns and request.  I will place another call after I arrive back home from doing necessary errands.  It is my hope that I will get a phone call while out.  In fact, I am going to call as soon as I get off here and leave a message (because you never get a human voice when you call) and leave my trac phone number who I never give to anyone but people that can reach me on only an emergency basis.  With this number they have no excuse to say they could not reach me.
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/17/2007 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
May 17, 2007~ I left a message before I left to do errands today.  Before I left the house I received a call from someone at the office stating that my doc was on vacation this week, how ironic that this is the week for vacations for people that are important to my health.... anyway she stated that they wouldnt be able to see me until about the date in June I already have.  I INSISTED THAT I be seen by the other doc who sets the vns's.  She said the earliest that she has for him is the  30th of this month at 1030am.  I begged for an earlier appt but she said that they were booked.  I wondered to myself, too booked to ensure someones "life" which would only take 5 minutes of their office time.  However, I took the appointment and hope that I will be ok until then.  I am having a really hard time and it just seems like noone hears me.  I am scared and alone and it just seems like it doesnt matter how hard I beg, plead or cry I am not being heard.
Oh well, I am so tired of paying for everything I have done wrong, really tired.
 
May 17, 2007~While I was doin laundry my phone rang and it was another person from the office stating the same thing.  Funny how I received 2 calls from 2 different people with the same info in the same day, when I go for days without word from even one person.  I am so glad to see that I mean so much to so many people. Feeling really angry and fed up with everyone and everything.  This is why I have become the person I am, an uncaring, unfeeling person because when you are like this, you dont really care what people think.  Guess I will go back on the 30th and get my final tuneup, I wont go back after that.
Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/18/2007 5:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Faithfully
Ugh!! I get so upset by the lack of compassion some doctors have. I don't get it.

What if you just showed up at the doctors office,telling them that it is an emergency and that you will wait to be seen?
Prepare yourself for a wait though,bring a book. But,I have done that before with my own meds,and was seen in an hour. That was after trying to get my refills for 3 days and being in a bad state of withdrawals.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/18/2007 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
eyes  shy~
you are so right, what then, huh?  If I didnt have to drive so far and get so upset getting there I would be there in a heartbeat!!!!  They have let me down so much lately that I would actually be afraid that they would turn me away even on their doorstep!!!  Pretty sad, I know but what else can I do, if I get to "assertive" in my requests, then I am a threat because I have depression and you know us "crazy" people do things so everyone needs to be afraid of us,,,,urgh that is what I hate, I cant just be angry and frustrated, I have to be a "crazied" irrational person that, in today's society is a threat....so is life...

 

Anyway, I just found out more bad news today about family issues and I just want to cry.

 

Please say a prayer for me as I am entering into a hopeless weekend with all this negative info in tow!!!!!



Teresa
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/26/2007 12:10 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  It has been awhile since I posted anything regarding what is going on with health issues.
 
5-22-07  God has sent a blessing to me in hopes of getting to some of the health issues that are unresolved.  I will undergo testing and be seen by an entrusted doc.
 
5-23-07  Doing household chores.  Dropped a glass door insert on left foot.  Cutting my foot almost taking my third toe off, 4 stitiches.  While in the hospital testing was done by the requested doc.  ekgs, xrays and bloodwork will hopefully give guidance to finding out why I am having so many problems.
 
5-30-07  Doc appointment to have VNS turned back on.  I made this call because of the feeling of depression returning.  I will have to see another doc because my regular neurologist will not be there that day.
 
5-31-07  Doc appointment to see new doc for symptoms.  Results of testing will be done.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/27/2007 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Faithfully
Oh not! It just seems that when things go downhill everything hits at once...I am very glad that you are doing the testing...and I hope having the VNS turned back on helps

Please keep us posted


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/30/2007 12:02 PM (GMT -7)   
5-30-07  Went to the docs and had the vns turned on.  trying to get these docs to listen to you is like slamming your head against the wall!  anyway, it is turned on, a little discomfort when activating but it is on.  I also asked about the results that were negative, he said that it is highly uncommon for these kinds of tests to show this type of a result and that he would "investigat" it.  He wants to handle one thing at a time.  my weight is down 4 lbs.  I feel like crap.
 
5-30-07  Stopped by the office of the doc i will see tomorrow and signed realize of information so that my results can be faxed over.  I am getting ready to make a list of symptoms and info helpful to the doc. In my heart I know that they will not find anything, i really think i am dying of a broken heart, what can fix that?
Teresa
" If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.”
Unknown


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/31/2007 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Faithfully
a broken heart is very very hard to get over. The only thing that can fix it is time I think.


I hope the treatment starts working soon.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/1/2007 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
5-31-07  Went to the doctor today to go over results of the testing I had done in the emergency room.  Of course everything was normal and the doctor says that with all the symptoms, we needed to tackle on thing at a time.  The only thing that was still abnormal was my blood pressure and we didnt address that.  The negative level in my blood is definately unusual but the doc stated that the neurologist would be better equiped to give an answer to this problem.  This doc is a general practitioneer and I have to say that this doc indeed does have the best intentions for me and has referred me to a psychiatrist.  I actually asked the doc if this were all in my head, he really didnt give me a divinitive answer but the referral to the psych doc pretty much answered that for me.  So where I am at now, I will go back and see this doc in 6 weeks.  During that time I will try to see this new psych doc and will be going in to have my vns strength increased.
 
I guess the biggest issue I am having is this........I have documented tests results that definately show that I have had reason to worry about my health, why all of a sudden are they ok.  I am not asking that I have test results that would not be good, I just dont understand how test results can change like that.
 
The one thing that was really strange is that I have had abnormal ekgs for the last year, not so bad that they need to be investigated with more invasive than echos, dopplers but the tracings have shown a mild ischemic change.  All the ekgs I have had I have thrown at least a PVC(premature-ventricular contraction).  These are not usually an issue unless you have them in every contraction this can show a possible heart condition.  Yesterday was the first one I have had that I have not had ONE pvc!!!  In my mind there are reasons behind this.
 
I truly believe that what I am experiencing is real and that there are no medical reason other than the fact that when your heart is hearting, you can actually have negative results and still have health issues.  That is why i really think that you can die from a broken heart.
 
I will know if i will see this new doctor next week.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/2/2007 4:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Luck!
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/4/2007 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   
eyes  I want to address the doctors visit that I went to on the 31st.  I want to say that this doctor was referred to me by one of the most loved persons in my life and that getting me to this doctor was done with love and caring. I went to this doctor with apprehension as I have my other doctors.  During this visit I was not at all saddened by the way this doctor treated me, I was saddened that I am a walking and talking human being that has all these symptoms and no results.  I AM ACTUALLY FRUSTRATED AT MYSELF and not the this doctor who I will have to say did listen to me and answer questions.  My frustrations that were obviously shown were not that of disatisfaction but just plan frustration with my own problems and maybe expecting miracles from someone, I UNDERSTAND THIS DOCTOR IS NOT GOD AND THAT MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SHOWN THE GRADITUDE THAT I DIDNT IN WORDS.
 
I am sorry that it did not seem like it was a positive visit, it was, I am just tired of being well "CRAZY AND STUPID"
 
PLEASE DONT RESPOND TO THIS POST, THIS WILL BE THE LAST ENTRY TO THIS JOURNAL OF HEALTH RESOURCES, I AM DONE WITH THIS.
 
Elisha, if you could lock this for me or take it off, I would appreciate it.  Thanks.
Teresa
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