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Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 5/27/2007 9:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Guys,
My former counselor is running an eight week group therapy session for people with depression.  She's my FORMER counselor because apparently according to the Medical Practice rules, patients are supposed to be helped in a short period of time (like eight visits).  I had been seeing her way before the rule was made, so I got abruptly booted after 28 sessions.  I was basically just using it as a bi-weekly gripe session.  I never did improve on the Depression test.
Anyway, back to this new group therapy.  There are only four people participating including me.  The other three are totally without any self-esteem(sp?).  (don't ya just hate not having spellcheck!)  They all complain about how people walk all over them and take advantage of them.  The group leader, Jan, spends all the time on these crybabies, drilling them in how they can change their thinking by giving themselves compliments and patting themselves on the back when they accomplish something.  I swear, the whining and crying drives me up the freaking wall!! 
Then we have to take the same stupid evaluation test every week.  They are actually are a set of statements about how you feel about a subject.   I always get the same stupid score, basically because my depression is not because of anything I've done to bring it on myself.  It's all because of crap that has happened to me, no fault of my own.  I feel fine about myself as a valuable human being.  I just have a bunch of lousy medical problems that keep me in pain most of the time, and have reduced my lifestyle to crap.  I am also hacked off because I can't make the money I used to, and have to depend on my Disability income.  Thus, I can't have the same lifestyle or afford the same hobbies and activities I used to be able to do.  
My life sucks, but it's not my fault.  I do everything I can to try to improve my medical problems, seeking out specialists, trying new medications, modifying behavior, trying experimental treatments, multiple rounds of physical therapy, you name it.  I can't think of anything else I can do to improve my health, but I'm always game for new options.  I will eventually have to have my lower spine fused, and both knees replaced, but I'm fighting to put it off as long as possible.  I'm still young(ish) and will postpone surgery as long as I can.  Heck, I've even joined a local club that does charity work, but parties hard too!!!  I can't always make it to all the functions, but I do as much as I can.
I don't think I can stand to go back to group therapy with that bunch of whiners anymore.  They make me really cranky, and I'm just afraid one day I'm going to open my mouth and tell them what I really think.  I don't want to contribute to their list of "wrongs" done to them.  I also don't want to have to sit there and "hold my tongue".  That's not going to help my situation or improve my mood one bit.
Finished venting now.
Leigh Ann

Basic info:
  • On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 42, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin, Diclofenac, Tramadol, Phenergan, Chantix
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/28/2007 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   

Wow Cranky, I'm not too sure how I would feel about being forced to go to group thearpy either.  I am also not too sure there is much anyone could say to make you feel better about going or having a slight change in prespective regarding it either. 

Perhaps, since you dont have self-esteem issues but, do have depression and all these medical issues to deal with...which for alot of people would give them some self-esteem issues (just saying :-) ), you could maybe chime in to the other 3 members with some helpful advice instead of wanting to jump across the room wanting to strangle them...just a suggestion. 

What I can help you with is spell check!!  If you have MS word or any program on your computer like this you can cut and paste your post (before you submit) it to that program.  Let it spell check your post then go to accessories and open up Notepad or Wordpad...which ever you have on your computer and cut and paste it to there.  The reason for this is so when you put it back into HW you wont have that huge white background like you see on some other posts who have copied straight from Word.  So from Notepad you can cut again and paste it back into HW and your posts will be spell errors.  It sounds like it takes a bit of time but you can have both programs opened in the background so really it only takes a manner of seconds...I hope this helps :-)

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 5/28/2007 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Cranky, I would probably feel the same way you do in this situation. You are simply in the wrong therapy! What you need is a pain psychologist. It's a totally different therapy that encourages pain patients to NOT whine about their pain. The idea is to get your focus back as a person and not be defined by your pain. Good ones will also help train you in relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques. Most large teaching hospitals that have pain clinics also have pain shrinks on staff. At the very least, maybe you could contact such a group for a referral in your area?

As a pain patient, your needs are entirely different from someone who has had lifelong depression due to non-pain issues. I applaud you for trying therapy, but what you're stuck with now, I think, is just useless for you. I've been seeing a pain psychologist for a couple of years now, and she's been a wonderful help for me. Of course, I also know much depends on the therapist, and it may take some time to find the right one.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 5/29/2007 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   


if you did open your mouth and "tell it like it is" what is the worst thing that could happen?  would anybody die?  will anyone's nose fall off?  i doubt it.  maybe, just MAYBE, the other people in the group (including the group leader) may benefit. 

i have found that most people have low self-esteem, including the ones with big mouths and small tolerance.  when one of them starts whining about how cr*ppy their lives are or how life has been unkind to them, i usually am able to "hold my tongue" as you do.  every once in a while, i just can't take it any more and open up.  it's like, "you think yu've got problems, baby, let me tell you what reality is like."  i define reality as when your face hits the floor.

usually, when i do this number, the people just look at me like i'm crazy (they're right).  but then, maybe some of that i said may rub off on them.  i hope so.

by the way, tex is absolutely right about using a pain psychologist or psychiatrist.  i, too. lost my position, income, life, etc., when i fell down a flight of stairs and developed chronic pain.  i see a pain management specialist and a psychiatrist to help me deal with these issues.  very different than a "run of the mill" shrink.

hope this helps!


That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/30/2007 7:28 AM (GMT -6)   
I am dealing with the whiney crap myself. It is my boyfriends family that basically have no idea how hard life can be.
It drives me insane!! I am struggling really hard around these guys,just want to tell them to get over it ect ect.

Some people just think the world revolves around them...

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

Forum Moderator

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 6934
   Posted 5/30/2007 8:38 AM (GMT -6)   
I spent over 10 years in therapy with a therapist that certainly didn't 'help me within 8 weeks"!!! She more or less forced me into group therapy.

Like your situation, a group that didn't really have anything in common with my problems. It was 8 people + leader, with lots of encouragement to "tell the truth" and "be honest about your feelings". On those rare occasions when I actually risked doing that, I was invariably told how awful and inappropriate my feelings were.

Folk's, feeling are just feelings. They are not facts, they cannot be invalid, cannot be right or wrong, they simply are! And we are all perfectly within our rights to have them and express them.

If I ever again (not likely!) end up in group therapy, I'll probably give it 4-6 meetings of an honest try to see if I feel any commonality at all. I then would say something -- like I'm feeling left out and my issues are not being addressed & how is this supposed to help me. If it still doesn't feel like it fits, either it really doesn't fit, or I've become so opposed that I'll never let it fit!

Arg! Whiners and perpetual victims ARE a drag!
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