Feeling depresse tryung to deal with difficult son

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/29/2007 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
My son who is 33 yrs old still lives with me.  He has epilepsy and his seizures went out of control a little over a year ago.  He is now on the right meds and has been seizure free.  He also has some learning disabilities but he is able to hold down a job as a teacher's aide.  The problem is he doesn't meke much money and I don't know if he can afford to live on his own.
He does pay me rent but what he pays me would never cover the cost of his own apt. and utilities.  He also is a very angry person and feels poeple don't understand him.  He constantly picks fights with me and his room is a total pig sty.  I told him 2 months ago to clean everything up and he is still working on it!  He is so unreasonable that I just get so depressed trying to deal with him.  He only has one friend that he does something with and that friend is married so he couldn't have him for a roomate.  I wonder if his meds make him a little nutty.  He takes 500 mg Zonegran 2000 mg Keppra, and 500 mg lamictal.  It takes all that to control the seizures.  I want to move to another state where I have found a great retirement community but how can I move and leave him to fend for himself?  I have another son who is very independent and successful and has his own apartment.  He would not want to live with his brother, and besides he has a girlfriend and they are talking marriage.  My son has chores he must do around the house and I constantly have to remind him.  I also have to remind him to pay his bills, like his credit card.  Sometimes I feel like I have no future.  I have been divorced from his father for 24 years and he has his own new family.  I don't want to burden my younger son as he has his own life to lead.  I just feel so down and hopeless about what to do.  Talking to him almost always starts an argument so I end up not speaking to him.
Thanks to anyone with a suggestion and just for listening.  This has just been a pretty bad day.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 5/29/2007 10:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi ya Aurora.  I have a sister who is in the same shows you are in.  She moved to minneapolis about 3 yrs ago.  SHe used to live in Bismarck which is 500 miles away.  Her son went with her, he is 19 yrs old.  He did not like the cities because he was a nervous wreck driving.  so he made the choice to move back to Bis. Her son has learning disabilities,seizures the hole nine yards.  Her sons gets help from the state on housing assistance, she has a friend the kinda looks after him.  We had a long talk about her putting her life on hold for him,  and made a choice to let him be a man and be by himself.  They talk daily, she still has control of his disability checks.  He seems to do allright most days.  Some days his exiety takes over. Them are the days he is not taking his meds.  My feelings are what is your son gonna do when you are no longer here?   So i think it would be ok to move, talk to a social worker and see if you can find him some housing assistance.  you two still can talk like my sister and son do.   Just my opinion.  Hope it all works out for ya.   Let go and Let the big guy take care of it. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/30/2007 7:25 AM (GMT -6)   
What about some type of a program that can help get him back on track?
Is he going to counseling? I have heard of community programs that help people with illness learn how to deal with their money ect ect?
I feel for you.. You have to take your life back,but I totally understand why you don't want to leave him fend for himself.
I would really think about some type of program or maybe even a group home that would help him?

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.


"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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