Off Celexa Back to Reality

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Lucy_T
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/2/2007 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I had terrible side effects from both Zoloft and Celexa.  I had a terrible health scare when my white blood cell count was all messed up which I posted about.  Second blood test while off Celexa was completely normal but I still don't feel good.  I've been sick for 3 weeks.  Just started antibiotics three days ago. 
 
I know now that I have used antidepressants instead of dealing with my problems and unhappiness.  I've gone off and nothing has changed in my life.  I have settled for things just to keep peace and have taken the medicine to make things seem better.  I've been married for 10 years (not my first marriage and share no children).  When I met this man we shared so many things in common.  I loved exercise and was walking 31/2 mile a day, every day.  I was in such good shape.  We started roller blading together and got bikes.  When I met him I thought we were both financially equal.  He didn't seem to be looking for anything but I owned a house, made more money, had a new care, etc. etc.  I was on the rebound and he caught me off guard.  We married a short time after meeting, he moved into my house and things were happy for about two years.  Today I no longer own the house and all the proceeds have been blown away by him.  I now live in a mobile home, in a bad neighborhood on 3/4 acre of property.  He told me it would be temporary and I've been here three years.  Last Jan. I bought a piece of property, 1.5 acres with the intent to build a home.  I still have money, I make 4 times what he makes.  He is trying to get me to take all my money out of the bank and build a home which will be half his.  That's what happened with the property we own now.  I have three grown children and he has four.  I can tell he doesn't love me because of the way he treats me.  I no longer do anything I love to do because I have no one to do it with.  He won't go for walks with or roller blade or bike.  All he does is watch sports on tv and drink beer.  Going out with him is always to a restaurant to eat where they serve tap beer and I drive him home.  We have nothing in common anymore including a sex life.  I have worked so hard for the past two years because that is my life.  I don't know what to do because he told me he will take half of everything I have if I decide to leave.  I am 56 years old now and still attractive.  Most people think I'm in my 40's.  I feel paralyzed and destroyed.  If I hadn't taken the antidepressants I think I would have been forced to deal with this a long time ago. 
 
I also forgot to mention that he spends all his money flying off to see his grown children by himself.  On most weekends he plays in a band.  I don't like sitting in smoky bars so I chose to stay home.  I developed a bad habit of going to the casino when he's playing.  I have vowed never to do that again because I was wasting money.  I am so lonely even though I live with someone.  What can I do? 

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/2/2007 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Lucy, there are some people that just can't handle antidepressants so their bodies react negatively to them.  I don't know if you have had a firm diagnosis of depression or not but it almost sounds as if perhaps your situation is what is bringing about the problems.  Thus it would be Situational Depression (text book) so, antidepressants are not prescribed to cover up or mask the problems they are given so the person can come up from the depressive state enough in-order for them to be able to deal with what is going on in their lives.  Hopefully.

Please do correct me if I am wrong here but, it almost seems as if you are feeling that your husband is taking advantage of you and your financial situation.  Or perhaps you miss how things were in the beginning?  But most usually people change or we don't really see who the "real" person is when you date for a short period of time or it is a rebound relationship. 

Just from what you have posted here...My suggestion would be to talk to him regarding your thoughts, feelings and concerns.  If he isn't responsive or doesn't step up like you are wanting him to then maybe you might want to look into a legal separation or something along these lines.  You need to set up some safe guards against your account and any assets you have. Especially if he is already telling you that he will take half of everything you have if you leave.  It sounds as if your the one paying the bills and taking care of the household expenses, since you said that he spends all his money flying to see his kids, so that would tell me that he is the one that needs to go...not you.  Hold your own and don't let him bully you.  You have many factors on your side here all you have to do is consult with an attorney and see what your options are, if your at that point.

I also recommend just for your own mental health for you to get back into your own fitness program...you don't need him to do these things with you.  Maybe try joining a gym or something of this nature...the exercise will do wonders for your depression and self esteem.

Regardless of what you do we are always here for you.  Take care and keep posting


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Lucy_T
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/3/2007 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Yes, I do feel that he is taking advantage of me and the thing that really bothers me is that he doen't even appreciate what I've done to improve his life.  I was so embarrassed by the junky car that he drove without air conditioning (in Florida) that I finally paid cash to buy him a really nice car.  My car has 124,000 miles and his has 42,000 miles.  After about a week he thanked me.  Now all he does is complain that it uses too much gas (25 mpg) and that he will fix up his junk car that is still sitting in the yard.  Last night I was looking to see if I could buy a house back in the neighborhood where I lived before him because I was so happy there.  I see that the value is up over 100,000 from what I sold it for. 

I can't talk to him.  He is on the defensive all the time.  He screams so loud all the neighbors can hear him.  He calls me fithly names and tells me I can leave but he won't.  The easiest thing for me would be to leave just to have some peace.  It's just so difficult giving up and letting him win.  No matter what happens I lose.  I feel so terrible just fighting with him all the time.  I start to think maybe it's me.  I feel grateful that I found this board because at least I feel like someone is listening.  Tomorrow I'll put on my suit, smile, and pretend everything is great all over again!  Thanks for listening and God Bless everyone who is suffering from depression.  May we all find peace through God.

Lucy

TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 6/3/2007 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
It's interesting that you call leaving an abusive relationship "letting him win." Win what exactly? He IS abusing you. Please talk to an attorney and find out for certain exactly what your rights are in this situation. Talking to an attorney doesn't mean you must take legal action. How can you make an intelligent decision without the correct information? Don't just take his threats as the truth of the situation. Yes, you might lose some money out a divorce, but perhaps not as much as you think. Maybe you could look at a divorce, and all its costs the same way you would look at buying a home or land. What are the benefits? How much is it worth to get away from the man that has cost you so much already with his abusive behavior? How much is it worth to get your mental health restored? How much is it worth to get your life back and heal?

Your relationship with this man is harming you, and you don't have to let it continue. You can't change him, and it sounds like he doesn't want to change. Accept it. It is within your power to change your life. I've done the same thing myself, and it was Hell coming to the decision and acting on it, but it was the best thing I ever did - for myself.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


Lucy_T
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/3/2007 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
What I meant by letting him win is the fact that I have to leave my home and find a new place to live.  You are right though, I need to see an attorney and find out what my options are.  I don't even care if I divorce him, I just want to get away and have some peace.  Thanks for your reply.  I really appreciate your support.

Lucy_T
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/5/2007 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Granny,

It's funny you mention about feeling guilty. I think that's part of the abuse. I get like that too. I start to think that maybe it's me and I'm being unreasonable then I back down and don't do anything to make a change. There's always something holding me back from leaving and I don't understand it. Fear of the unknown is a terrible thing. I haven't been feeling good for 3 weeks. I've never felt so terrible. I am just exhausted and can barely function at my job from day to day. I'm praying that there's nothing seriously wrong with me. I'm on antiobiotics and hoping I will be well in about a week when I finish the medicine. I'm waiting to see what happens with my health before I do anything. Do you have any support to help you, like children? If you have family try to talk to them. If not, talk to me. If you lived near me I would take you shopping or out for lunch. You deserve better and I hope you get it. Don't give up hope. Pray to God to help you. I do.
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