Having trouble coping w/depression

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/9/2007 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I can't seem to handle my depression and lonliness.  I just feel so low.  Now I am at the point I am having trouble eating although I do have 50 lbs. to lose so I'm not worried about that.  My son is going away for 5 days and I can't stand to be alone in the house at night.  I have 2 dogs so some company but of course you can't have a conversation with a dog.  I can call friends earlier and I have plans for during the day - I just can't tolerate the silence at night. Also, my son has epilepsy and I am looking into group housing for him.  There is a wonderul organization that helps disabled people here.  I am afraid he is going to think I am trying to get rid of him and not want him around.  That is so far from the truth.  I am 61 years old and know that I will not be around forever and need to know tht he will be in a secure environment.  I have another son but he lives on his own and is very independent and has his own life and girlfriend and will probably be getting married.  Maybe the idea of placing my son in a home with other disabled people is what is getting me down.  I know I have to do this for his benefit.  Me and my other son are the only family - I have no one else.  I don't get very many replies to my posts so I hope this time some of you will try to help me.  I am so lonely and sad. sad

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/9/2007 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Aurora,  I am sorry that you dont get many replies to your posts sad .  That usually happens when people just dont know what to say.  It's not that we dont care or dont want to help.

Loneliness is something that is difficult to manage for everyone depression or not when your single or live alone.  Do you have any hobbies that you like to do?  Something that can fill your time in the evenings?  Perhaps you can look for some ways to make your home a place of comfort for you, a place that you look forward to going to and being in.  It would be different for everyone I guess but, changing things around, adding candles, new pillows, whatever you can afford to do to make your environment a welcome haven for you.

As for your son with epilepsy...where does he live now?  I dont know what state you live in but there are many great group homes that care for people with this disorder.  Have you spoken to him regarding this?  I think perhaps if you explain to him how you feel, your concerns and reasoning for looking into this he may understand.  Also, maybe you could consider having him help you in these decisions if he is able too that way he wont feel as if his power has been taken away from him and he had some input in where he was going.  If the idea of putting your son in a home with other disabled people is what is getting you down then try to think of the positive in that situation...which is he will hopefully be able to make some friends there and he will have access to quick medical care/attention when he needs it.  Which is the most important factor.

I hope that other members do post with some ideas/suggestions for you.  Hang in there and know we are always here for you.  Take care


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/9/2007 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Elisha for your reply.  My son lives at home with me and he is 33 yrs old.  He is fairly self sufficient but has never lived on his own.  He has had a steady job for the past 9 years as a teacher aide and he likes it.  He has his seizures very under control so he can drive.  He just doesn't have basic living skills such as taking care of bills, cooking, grocery shopping - just being on his own.  I am meeting with the coordinator for the program I am looking into this week and I think she will be able to tell me how to talk to my son.  As far as my home, I moved here 2 1/2 yrs ago and did new redecorating so everything is nice and is comfortable.I do have interests - needlepoint, reading and gardening and I have a lovely garden with rose bushes.  It is just he lonliness that gets me down.  I am grateful for what I have and for my sons.  I just need to conquer the lonliness.  There is a depression support group in my area so I think I am going to give it a try.  Maybe I can meet some new friends or at least get the support I need.  Also, I see a counselor twice a month and a Dr. for my meds.  Thanks for heping me feel better.


Dansky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2844
   Posted 6/9/2007 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Aurora,

Just wanted to stop by and say, hi.

I can imagine with everything on your mind right now things must be getting quite worrying, but as you mentioned you do have some hobbies/interests, maybe you could increase these by maybe adding writing and photography. maybe you could start writing a book kind of like a biography, start a family tree and put this into your book as well as copies of photographs, once written you could pass this to your sons, I'm sure they'd both love to read it and it would be something which could be passed on to any future family members. Writing helps me take my mind of things and just like a good book sometimes it's so easy to get hooked on what I'm writing.

Of course I believe that it's important to have contact with other members of society, so the support group could be a brilliant meeting point. I know how hard it is for me to motivate myself to go out and do things right now, maybe it's the same for you, but I find that when I do go out it's a great deal easier than I anticipated.

Are you religious? Personally I only tend to go to church for funerals or weddings, even though I am a believer, the reason I ask is I imagine that's another place you could go to make contact with like minded people, maybe your son eho lives with you could attend with you.

I do hope that I have provided something worth considering.

Take care.

Dave
Dansky
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