Why are the bad days connected to the good ones?

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_Christina
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 6/11/2007 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
This has happened several times now, so I think it is realy connected.  Each time I have a very good day (Saturday) it is folled by a very bad day (Sunday) and then it takes 4-5 days to get back to where I was before.
On Saturday I had a wonderful day.  I prepared for and went to a wedding with friends.  It was a long, fun-filled day.  I can remember thinking in the afternoon that this is a day without depression.
On Sunday, I slept all day.  I couldn't get moving.  I was in a foul mood.  Not just bad, but I wanted to start fights, I was in such a foul mood.  I watched movies and laid on the couch all day.
Today I am anti-social like I am when I feel my worst.  I feel in the pits of depression again.
Everytime I have a mountaintop day it is followed by several of the worst days.  Each time I go up, it crashed me down further.
The "regular" days are "numb".
I'm not sure which is worse.  I would like to get rid of the pits without getting rid of the mountiantop days.
(They don't come without reason.  Weddings, conferences, social interaction- there is always a cause for the good feelings, but it is not every time I get in a croud.  Sometimes I am "numb" through that too.)
The bad days will come without cause too, but they ALWAYS follow the good days, when they happen. 
I don't want to be Bipolor, and I don't think this is enough for it.  My Doc wants to try mood stabelizers- I don't.  He will wait for me to agree, but I'm confused.  Does this mean that the "numb" is normal?  Is that what my life is going to be forever? I should not feel as good as I do on my good days?  I don't want to give that up.  What do I do?
Christina
 
When you cannot stand, on whom do you lean?


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/11/2007 12:02 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Hi Christina~
I have experienced the same thing.  However, I find that there are never 2 great days in a row!  I put in another post that I can probably count on both of my hands, the days of pure happiness, to me that is sad!!!!
So many healthy people take for granted what their days are like.  This weekend was just one of many "numb" weekends.  I actually sat down yesterday and cried my eyes out because of the way I feel.  I wonder when a good day will come.  I also think to myself about how long I am willing to wait on these days.
 
I dont know about you but most of the time, the good days are not even worth waiting for!  The extention to that is that the good days that you have had you know that will be no longer because of situations in one's life that will make sharing these days a memory.
 
I find also that my moods and feelings are related to my dreams, my "signs" and just how subconsiously I feel about something.
 
Just know that you are not alone eyes
 
Take care
Teresa
 

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,
which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity;
but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
Washington Irving

 


slowlygoingcrazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 6/11/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
What I think that causes that is pure exhaustion. We expend so much energy enjoying those high moments, that there's nothing left for the next few days. And so we don't even have the energy to get out of bed. I find that too when I have a really good day, and several days in a row where I"m actually accomplishing stuff, I will suddenly just run out of steam for a few days. I often find that at the end of the week it's worse, or rather the end of my husband's shift. Right now for example, he works Sunday to Thursday 3 to midnight. So he is asleep in the morning when the kids get up and gone when they get home, which means I am bearing the full brunt of dealing with the kids. By the time his shift is over and his "weekend" starts, I'm ready to just collapse, and he usually has to step up big time and help with the kids those days cause I just don't have the energy.

Maybe just knowing that might help you adjust things. Be less hard on yourself. Say, yeah, I'm recovering for a few days. That good day took everything out of me. Let yourself recover. That's probably the hardest thing to do. Instead of seeing ourselves as lazy, particularly after a stressful event or big day, we should acknowledge we've expended too much of our energy and let ourselves recover. Does that make sense?

And there are certain times of the year that make it tough too cause so many people want so much from you. I'm referring to the holidays in particular.

Anyways, I hope that helps.

slowlygoingcrazy
 It would be easier to tell people I have cancer than it is to tell them I am severely depressed.....


miagolano
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 6/11/2007 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
i can't say that i have "happy" days, but i have days where i'm content and alert and interested in doing things. those types of days are inevitably followed by a bad day - usually of me sleeping all day. that's what happened this weekend - saturday was good, sunday was horrible.

today i took my first dose of lamictal. i'm kind of at the end of my rope, so to speak, so i'm giving it a shot. since i increased the wellbutrin 2 weeks ago (from 150mg to 300mg) the depression has gotten worse. so, i'm hoping this med works and that the side effects aren't too bad (mostly worried about the rash, of course).

i was trying to talk to a friend of mine about depression tonight and it's so hard to get them to understand just what depression is - some people have equated it with being a bad mood, some with feeling stressed. i wish there were words that would help me to explain what i go through with people, especially when they start in with the "why don't you just..." or "can't you just...". no, i can't. and all the meds i've tried so far haven't worked, so i'm running out of options.

sorry, my simple answer turned into a rant...

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/11/2007 9:16 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  I agree with Mia, I don"t have "happy" days per say.  I have days that are uneventful in a good way and then I have bad days.  I would give anything for a day where total happiness and joy were an all day thing.  I used to have days like that but they are no longer.  The small times in my life that i live for a few and far between.
 
I have had people ask me on one of my "good" days why I am so down.  I kind of look at them and laugh and say gosh if you think i am down today you should see me on a day where I am truly down.
I hate that so much, i HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I dont think that anyone understands what a life like this is, i really dont.  We do though, dont we?
Teresa
 

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,
which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity;
but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
Washington Irving

 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/12/2007 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been going through some major ups and downs these days. First I am so happy that I am hyper and could do anything. Then within an hour or so,something sets me off and I hate my life and just can't deal with everyone.


Depression is so hard to beat.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


Dansky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2844
   Posted 6/12/2007 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I haven't had a real happy day since I was diagnosed with UC, my doctor actually told me I would never ride my bikes like I used to, I used to cycle between 250 and 300 miles weekly, and since I was diagnosed with UC in 2004, I haven't even managed that distance in a month :-(

My life seems to exist to wake up, (If I could sleep) be in pain and fever, take pills, be ill take more pills and that's the day gone, I rarely have energy, not sure if it's UC alone anymore, I'm learning that depression seems to take energy away too I am putting so much hope that the pill I'm now taking works and enables me to function that bit more.

Take care.

Dave
Dansky Co-moderator UC forum
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CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 6/12/2007 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Christina,
 
Since your good day seems to be Saturday, it probably is a result of conditioning during childhood.  All week long, kids look forward to Saturday, which means they don't have to go to school and can play and have fun.  Obviously, if you look foreward to something, and it goes well, inevitably there will be a let-down afterwards.   You don't have anything to look forward to, so you fall into the depression hole.  Eventually, as the week progresses, you start looking forward to the weekend again, and your mood rises.  Then it's Saturday and the cycle starts all over again. 
 
Count yourself lucky that you have friends to do things with, events to look forward to.  I moved back to my hometown five years ago, and I only had two friends left in town.  After a few months, they both wigged out and stopped talking to me completely.  Seems they had busy lives and couldn't be bothered with any of my problems.  The only thing I really have to look forward to is a once-a-year convention of Dolls collectors that I attend every year.  It is a big expense, but it's the only thing I have to look forward to.  I don't think I'll get to go this year, because my parents would have to pay for it, and I seriously doubt that's going to happen.
 
I did finally join a local club of Jimmy Buffett fans, but most of the members are slightly older than me, and make way more money than my disability pays.  They have lots of social events, but they usually always cost money that I just don't have, so I can't attend events like I would like to do. 
 
Basically, that pretty much leaves me with nothing to look forward to indefinitely.  I would stay that I just stay in the depression hole.  Unfortunately, I have a bad back and can't sleep a lot of the day away.  I've been going to a therapist for years, the last one for about three years.  Now I attend a group therapy session that lasts ten weeks.  Every week we have to take a depression level test.  I've had the same score for three years, the whole time I've seen the therapist.  Well, let me take that back, I did come up one point over three years.
 
Count your blessings that you have friends and events to attend.  I have chronic pain, which severely limits my ability to do things, especially things that require leaving the house and walking around for any amount of time.  I'm pretty much homebound, and on the rare event that I do attend, I pay dearly for it the next day,  painwise.
 
I definitely think you need some anti-depressant medication, and possibly something for anxiety and/or panic disorder.  These kinds of medications are good for leveling out your highs and lows.  I would try these out first, as it doesn't really sound severe enough to be bi-polar.
 
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
 
Leigh Ann cool

Basic info:
  • On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 42, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin,  Phenergan, Chantix,  Iron Pills
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


miagolano
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 6/12/2007 12:42 PM (GMT -7)   
i just had another person tell me "just think positive" and i seriously just wanted to kick her in the face. i have to remember not to talk to people about my depression unless they also have been diagnosed.

goddess0728
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 6/12/2007 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
miagolano said...
i just had another person tell me "just think positive" and i seriously just wanted to kick her in the face. i have to remember not to talk to people about my depression unless they also have been diagnosed.


Miagolano

some people don't understand depression, some people have the "just pull yourself up" syndrome, some people stuff their feelings and some people should just shut up. j/k!

I fully understand what you mean, I have a mother who's mantra should be "just don't think about it then", like I can just DECIDE "hey, Im not going to be depressed anymore" ...roll eyes. I'm sorry that this person doesn't understand how you feel but there are lots of us who do. Please hang in there

CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 6/12/2007 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Boy, can I identify with this.  Whenever I get a bad Migraine, I call my parents' house to get a ride to the ER.  My Dad usually answers and tells me how long it will be before he can pick me up.  Immediately after hanging up, my Mother calls me back and I get the instant interrogation.  It always has her asking me if I just can't tough it out.  She just doesnt' understand that level of pain.  She's had pain before, but nowhere near Migraine pain.  She just thinks I want the heavy duty pain meds because I want a fix of narcotics, but I really need that level of medication to control the pain.  She never changes her tune.  Next time I have to call for a ride, I think I'll just ask my Dad to go ahead and put my Mom on the phone so she doesn't have to dial the phone.

I can't stand stubborn or stupid people.

Leigh Ann cool


Basic info:
  • On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 42, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin,  Phenergan, Chantix,  Iron Pills
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/13/2007 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I too have gotten and still get the comments. I have learned that people that do not have depression have no idea what we are going through. It is really not their fault at all. I just think that I hope they never have to go through it.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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