"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity;but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."Washington Irving
Teresa, I too feel I am dying of a broken heart. I ran across one of your earlier emails where you said your age and thought you were the oldest on the board.
I am much older than you. But when I was a little older than you are now, the love of my life came into my life and I, like you, look for signs and believed all the events were answers to prayer. There were so many miraculous things that happened during the time that person was in my life. But then, it ended and it wasn't my choice.
I'm not telling you this to discourage you since I didn't have a happy ending. But to encourage you since you are still young and you shoulld keep yourself open to the idea of a new relationship. I didn't do that and I think wasted precious time.
In the meantime, I know I have to just have a life somehow. I'm still working on that and I feel despair often.
I wish it had "scabbed over" as you thought. It is still fresh for me after 8 years (before that we were together 6 years) and although we have remained friends, the pain is there always. He is on my mind always.
I've tried to be interested in other men, but I think I'm similar to you in that I feel that he is my soul mate. And there are only one of those in one's life I believe.
The logical part of me knows that being a soul mate is supposed to work both ways.
I was the one who asked for at least a friendship , and I cherish the rare times we are together. But I am always grieving that it is not more than friendship now.
I know this isn't supposed to be a board for solving relationship problems. But just thought that since I am older and in retrospect see what I think was a mistake (staying friends) and not moving on that I thought it might help.
I just pray that you don't in the future regret getting on with your life (as I do) because he is getting on with his. I don't mean that coldly or critically. My friends do not understand that I can still be emotionally attached to him, and I know how much that hurts.
Prayers for both of us this night!