Your words sound like my EX-wife’s before she left. She too tried and tried to help me she even felt she was holding our family together and most likely was. She had to continually ask me to take my meds. She took it for 10 years and could take no more.
I think the question you are asking is why will he not take care of this?
I can not answer for him but I can tell you why I did not take care of mine.
Do I whished I would have done more, got out of bed and went to the doctor. YES but I was incapable. Our lived was unfair to her. She wanted more and deserved more. Here is the sad part I only got that after she was gone. To little to late.
I wish you luck and I hope he is smarter than I and pulls his head out and realizes what is at stake.
My wife and I had a good 7 years and I agree people turn to divorce too easily. In the end her badgering and frustration made her the enemy. The women and person I loved most in the world, the mother to my son and best friend was the enemy in my mind.
My statement, depression being comfortable refers to the fact that if you life in a place for so long it becomes home, it’s what you know and hence were you are most comfortable. I am in no way saying its right nor is it a place I want to dwell. I am simply stating it as a fact for me.
I did not get the consequences of my action or lack of actions until after my wife was gone. Until after she picked up my son and walked the door. Your husband statement “He tells me that it is our marriage and the desire to be a good father is the two things that keep him from going into a deeper depression.” There was a ton of truth in those words for me. After my wife left I ended up in a mental institution and at a level of depression I never had before and this level of depression is not comfortable. With that said I say this, today I don’t blame her for leaving. Hell I would leave myself if I could. She did the right thing for her and by the grace of God as put me on a road to some sort if recovery. For instance I wrote this without crying. (YAY ME)
Also here something, I only seem to deal with my depression when I have too. When the situation is so bad, all aspects of life are in ruins and I am looking at being desolate that I rise up and triumph over my depression.