depressed newbie

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tashyluv
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/14/2007 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there my name is natasha im 24, I believe i have been suffering for some sort of depression/anxiety since I was around 8 years old through seeing my dad beat up my mum and split up.  Then my mum went a bit mad and had quite a few one night stands and kept going back to her exs who beat her up blah blah blah. I also lost my mum in 2000 she had cancer. It has kind of made me not scared of relationships but very very precise in how I want it to be which causes tension, and I didnt have an interest in sex til very late on (it still is an issue).  I always had a feeling from a very young age that i was different or not the same as everyone else (if you know what I mean)I went to a psycologist (2003?)but everything I was told I aready knew.  It has helped a lot tho because I couldnt keep a job long enough but now ive improved with work and have just completed my first year at college.
I have my usual bad days and it effects my relationship with my boyfriend because i can go very quiet and it upsets him.  I cry a lot and I dont show enough affection to my boyfriend even though I really want to just go over and kiss him...its a horrible feeling.
I think to myself "im never gonna be happy" and i know its wrong but ive thought that for so long now that its hard to change.
College is good for me it is one thing I wrk very hard at.  I dont have many college friends but there is one girl that is really nice.  my best friend moved down to wales and i can only keep in contact by phone.  Sometimes I feel I have nobody and I feel a burden to people.
Im off for the summer hols at the mo and im starting to feel down in the dumps a bit, I dont know what to do with myself and ive already cancelled my driving lesson.
 
When i went to the psyc., he said that i was setting my goals to high e.g. moving house isnt happening overnight. but i have stopped that now and i do feel more stable but its always there making me sad.
 
any advice would be much appreciated

ruffwood
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/14/2007 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
nono  thou shalt not feel sorry!! nono thou shalt not be a victim
tongue  thou shalt fart in the face of adversity and tongue   thout shalt laugh out loud and listen to your own voice!....
 
ok sermon over, there is nothing to be depressed about..... if all you have is today.  don't dwell on the negatives, I don't want to preach but really having been through all of that crap myself...and more....I firmly believe I can ( and do ) shake it off and live MY life make MY mistakes and take responsibility for MYSELF......dwelling on and looking for somewhere to rest 'the blame' consumes valuable energy that you can spen on YOU......give it a thought and best wishes for all you aspire to....xox

ruffwood
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/14/2007 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Tashyluv....I just re-read your post and my reply.....do you have someone local or an aunty etc who can parent you.....I really want to say ...mother you...in a sense because I have no doubt that this is important (to us all).....I hope you respond.....t.t.f.n....

tashyluv
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/14/2007 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi thanks for the reply,

No not really, I have my gran but its hard for her to understand as she is 86. Also my boyfriends mother who I find it difficult to talk to because all she talks about is my boyfriends ex and her problems, and basically telling us to get married and everything will be fine. She seems to think im getting on fine and dosent really take interest in me to be honest but i dont really click with her anyway.

It is also hard to because somethings i find hard to talk about like my mums relationships and how it has affected me, I feel bad when i talk negative about her because she isnt hear. My boyfriend (3 1/2 yrs)knows everything and he really helps me but sometimes i feel i dont give enough back because of the way I feel, and when he asks me whats wrong I cant really explain it

ruffwood
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/14/2007 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
hon, send me an email and we will talk privately and if I can help I will.
 
Reason for edit:
 
You really shouldnt openly post email addresses for the world to see. You can update your profile so that there is an email link on the left (Envelope Icon). From what I read, you wanted it removed anyway. If you want to edit posts to remove/add info, you can use the pencil icon in the top right corner of the post

Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 6/14/2007 10:20:35 AM (GMT-6)


ruffwood
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/14/2007 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
awmygawd...I just realised that I put my email out there for every moron on the planet to send me a message....well here's the rub..........I have autoscreening/kickback on all mail received so it may pay a few not to bother....

ruffwood
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/14/2007 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
tashyluv. my upbringing is actually a mirror of yours. I, above all people understand what you have been through, that we do not have to discuss, publically. is fine...and it helps us we don't need everywoman and and her dog to be aware of us or our pain...#the door is always open#

These are all empty words taken in the context of agnominity

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/14/2007 10:12 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there Tash and welcome to HealingWell!!

There are lots of different people here with different experiences so you are never far from someone who has some advice and we all provide care and support for each other when its needed. I hope you manage to find what you are looking for here.

Have you thought about joining a club? Exercise is supposed to be very good for aiding depression and you would make more friends at the same time. Do you still see the psychologist? Perhaps he has ideas on how you can take your life forward now that you have reduced your goals.

Im sure other people will come up with many ideas different to mine and the best thiung is that nobody is wrong. You can try new things at your own pace and you can try whatever you want

Keep us posted as to how you get on,

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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