My wife has this darned disease call major depression. She was on a very low step down dosage of Wellbutrin due to us trying to conceive… when out of no where she pops up with, “I’m filing for divorce”… Now this literally came a week after us trying to have another child… She refused to continue our marriage counseling seasons… she refused to go back to her PC doc… She refused anything that might help her get better… she literally could not bring herself to get off the couch for a month… Daily life was a major chore… HER ONLY OPTION WAS TO FILE AND MOVE BACK TO FLORIDIA!! She has spent the last 4 years on the run… She always had good reasons why (or so I was told)… She never really told me the truth
Since we filed May 21st, I have not been able to speak to her… I made several attempts (two messages on her cell phone) prior to her moving on the 24th of May, but no luck… I called on of her friends to seek help, but that exchange resulted in the following email to me… My parents had each sent a text message to her that simply told her that they love her, will miss her and are always there for her.
After reading so many postings, I can’t help but feel that if she would seek the appropriate help (therapy and meds) that things would even out for her… and still hopefully us!
Reason for edit:
I have taken the letters/emails out of the post for 2 reasons. One is that we have to be careful what we allow on the forum since there are people as young as 13 on here. The second is that there would be an ethical question over posting emails that people have sent to you as private. I see no reason why you cannot describe how she reacted when your parents sent the text message (Such as a brief synopsis) but not posting copies of private emails. I hope you understand why I have done this, and if you want to email me privately to discuss this I am more than happy. You can use the envelope icon on the left.
Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 6/21/2007 2:43:21 PM (GMT-6)
Red, thank you for the post... I didn't mention in my thread that our therapist wanted "us" to take the MMPI 2 due to suspicions that she may be bipolar. He recommended the “we” in an effort not alienate her from therapy… he had mentioned to us the meds needed to be tweaked and though that a Pdoc was in order.
I am giving her the space to do what it is she needs to do… I, myself, am moving on with life… I just moved into my new house yesterday… I still see the therapist about every 10 days… but the fact still remains that I stood up in front of God, family and friends and took a vow that was very serious… I sickness and in health.
Isn’t there someone that could email her and say, “Look I went through this as well and now my life is so much better”!... Her support channels now consist of drug dealers, burn outs, and untreated BPD’s… I’m never going to get through to her am I? Afterall, she does not want the help…
The fact still remains that I love her, she is my wife (for now) and I care deeply for her… I sound pretty co-dependent right now, but WOW… what a rollercoaster I’ve been on.
From a girl with depression-
every so often I consider devorsing my husband, running off and leaving him with my 3 kids. other times I can' believe that I even think that. I constantly have the urge to run away when I am down.
The No Past Issue sounds like she has a whopper of a past, like me. I don't bring mine up either. I have let it slip out, but only a little at a time, over the last 10 years, and my husband Still doesn't know 1/4 of it. he never will unless there is a reason.
some questions would be if she went to church before the "fip out"? How long were you married? How long had you known her? Do you have other kids with her or in the home?
You have 3 choices at this point. remain "married" and let her know ( through friends, through the legal system if you have to, or directly to her if you can) that you will be waiting for her to return. make sure that she knows where to retun to and that you will accept her in any condition and will help her get there, if needed. I would even contest the devorce procedings if it's not already finished. I beleve that you can decide to contest at any time.
2nd choice. Allow the devorce to continue. Consider yourself as a person whose spouse has broken a legal agreement and move on SLOWLY.