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faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/27/2007 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
This forum is very special to me for many reasons.  For those that are struggling, and I have noticed recently that there is a tremendous amount of us going through some really bad times.  I know that this is a depression forum and that is maybe what we are supposed to see but I have noticed a trend of severe depression in a lot of us.
 
I have been a member for several months now and if you read my posts you will see that I go through a rollercoaster, if you will, of emotions with my depression.  I live with the fact that I will never be cured of this illness and that everyday is a day where although I want it to be a good day, there are things I can do to see that happens but ultimately the demon that lives in my brain will control in the long run how I react to the days happenings.
 
What I do want to convey in this post is that I have been at the lowest depths of despair in my life over the past year.  I have feelings of total hopelessness and thoughts of just not dealing with anything life has to offer no matter how it would affect the ones I love, the cold hard fact is that there are times when my pain has been so overwhelming that even the smallest blessings that get me through the day seem to be not enough but there are promises I have made to myself and someone that I love more than life itself and it is that promise that pushes me forward.
 
I know what it is like to feel like you dont have reason to see another day through and no matter how hard you try it doesnt go away, I have no sure fire cure for it believe me I deal with it on a daily basis.  The one thing I do know is that I need to reach out for help and I want to feel better!  Along with feeling bad mentally, my physical health is taking a toll.
 
Just know that when you are feeling like there is no way out and you dont think that there could be another day worse than the one you are having at that moment, you may be right but what you have to have is a reason to push.  My plea to anyone going through the devastating days of depression is to find something in your life that even in your darkest moment WILL pull you back at least enough to regroup.  I will be brutal here and say without something like this, you will have an easier time convincing yourself that there is no reason to "breath air".  I know this because in my life, I do have those comfort zones and without them, I would be lost.
 
I know there are times when you cannot gather enough energy or thought process to think about the "comfort" you have.  Everyone has one, you just have to really think about what it is.
 
At this point I am struggling and trying everything to get better.  I know that if I do the best I can that I will see BETTER DAYZ.  What else do I have, what else do you have?
 
For those struggling, know that you are not alone in this and that you too can strive for these dayz.
Teresa
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
 
 
" Love is being stupid together."
Paul Valery
 
" Tonight I sent an angel to watch over you, but it came back. When I asked why, it told me that angels don't watch over other angels."
Unknown


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/28/2007 12:55 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

Thank you so much for that post. I think it is very encouraging (Especially for the newer members of our family) for people to be able to read another persons story. I'd like to think that I have been on part of that rollercoaster sat next to you. You (as well as others) have taught me much since I came over to depression. I think that you are a great help to the forum and offer some really sound advice.

Once again, thank you for sharing

Darren

 


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/28/2007 5:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Teresa
I credit this forum for me being able to start healing.
It has been a rollercoaster,and still can be. But it is so nice to have somewhere to go that you know you won't be judged..Finally someone understands!



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


asking
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 6/28/2007 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank You Teresa - you are right, we really have to cling to those comfort zones and take whatever action we can to feel better, at least a little bit better - I know what mine are, and I no longer feel guilty for having them - I have had a few better dayz, even though I still feel pelted by people and situations adn problems.... but at this moment it is all okay

thank you for your encouragement............ ((((((hugs))))))))

Singer69
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/28/2007 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Teresa,

Great post. I'm sure that it was hard to write, but it certainly puts things into perspective for those who have had (or have right now) those very thoughts. Hopefully writing that post was a bit therapeutic for you as well. It seemed to be.

Thanks!

Rick...

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 6/29/2007 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Thanks everyone for your posts.  I am glad that it brought comfort and knowledge to alot of you.  I am having a really rough time as of late and it was therapeutic for me to write it.
 
This forum is a safe haven for me as well as a place for me to convey feelings that I need to get out.  Thanks again so much for all the support everyone gives.
 
 
Teresa
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
 
 
" Love is being stupid together."
Paul Valery
 
" Tonight I sent an angel to watch over you, but it came back. When I asked why, it told me that angels don't watch over other angels."
Unknown


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/3/2007 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Today is a day when that "comfort" that I spoke of is so very important.  Holidays are extremely difficult for me for a couple of reasons that I would like to keep private.  Watching fireworks was always magically for me but not anymore, I cry all day and think of what my 4th of july was like several years ago. 
 
I have had many holidays go by with this feeling of emptiness and pray for the day when I will enjoy them once again for the reasons that are so very important to me.  today was very hard because my comfort zone was extremely difficult to find.  Keeping the faith for better dayz is the reason i can get through this and healingwell is the other.
 
when you guys watch the fireworks wherever you are know that I am thinking of each and everyone of you and how much you guys have helped me get through these rough times.  to my angel and you guys, better dayz, right?
Teresa
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
 
 
" Love is being stupid together."
Paul Valery
 
" Tonight I sent an angel to watch over you, but it came back. When I asked why, it told me that angels don't watch over other angels."
Unknown


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/5/2007 12:48 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Teresa,
 
Being in the UK, we dont really celebrate July 4th. I work for ASDA (Which is owned by Wal*Mart) so we celebrate at work (Against my moral standing... Its an American holiday and ASDA is British.) Im really sorry that you are feeling crap at the moment. Have you tried going away for the holidays? Japan isnt far from the States (I dont think!) so maybe thats an option?
 
Heres a big BRITISH hug, just for you!
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/5/2007 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Thanks Daz~
Unfortunately Japan is a little pricey for this poor American girl (lol).  Actually there is a couple places that I have visited and would have loved to be there but the places I want to go and who I want to share my holidays with are not a reality today, maybe tomorrow though, so I keep hanging on!!
 
Thanks again!!
Teresa
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
 
 
" Love is being stupid together."
Paul Valery
 
" Tonight I sent an angel to watch over you, but it came back. When I asked why, it told me that angels don't watch over other angels."
Unknown


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/5/2007 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   
OK, maybe Japan is a bit expensive. Its a shame... I had a friend who went to Japan for 4 weeks last Easter and the pictures are great! (His mum and dad paid for it though!) Maybe tomorrow...
 
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/5/2007 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
mad  WHERE ARE MY BETTER DAYZ?!
Teresa
 
" So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes. Don't say goodbye."
Song: Hold Her Closer
Blessid Union of Souls
 
 
" True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained."
Unknown

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