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Megamerli
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/5/2007 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm a novice at this, so please forgive me if I make mistakes!
 
I was retired from work some 10 years ago, having suffered a major 'breakdown' following the near death of my son due to vasculitis. Although on the surface I seem to be 'normal', underneath I am still in termoil. I am agony aunt to the masses - I seem to collect 'lame ducks' who bring all their problems to me, and when they learn to fly again they vanish into the ether. When I feel down, or overwhelmed, by the issues that beset me, no-one seems to be there for me.
 
My husband is an alcoholic although he won't accept it. 11 years older than me he has become dependent upon me to the extent that I have not had a break in more years than I can count. Looking after him is a 24/7 task.
 
For many years I have suffered from undiagosed physical symptoms, put down as chronic fatigue, ME, fybromyalgia etc. and am now having treatment for a skin problem which is both unpleasant and disfiguring.
 
I suspect strongly that all my physical problems are related to my state of mind and therefore psychsomatic in origin.
 
Does anyone understand how deeply isolated I feel?

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/5/2007 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I truly understand your feelings of lonliness and isolation.  Physical pain can increase your feelings of depression.  Can you free yourself from people who burden you with their problems and say you just can't be of any help right now?  I can imagine what you have gone through with your son was extremely hard.  You don't need an alcholic husband to contend with.  Is there any way to get him in treatment or to a meeting?  What about getting him some books about his problem.  You deserve better and to have some hapiness and peace in your life.  I hope you know that people on this forum are very caring.  I wish I had some better suggestions for you but please know that I care and will help with moral support if I can.  Keep posting as I have found this is a good way to relieve some stress and get ideas from others.  Take care.

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/5/2007 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Welcome Mega~
This is a great place to be when you are down.  The loneliness you speak of is an every day occurence for me.  I have fought demons for several years but mostly of recent.  The loneliness and pain are the worst pain I have ever endured.  I feel as if I live hell on earth.
 
My pain is also physically related to my health.  I have had high blood pressure and several other symptoms that have been occurring without medical explaination.  I say it is because I am dying of a broken heart but noone seems to really care.  I look at it this way, if the physical ailments end up being severe enough to warrant my life well maybe my autopsy results will prove that I was truly hurting as much as I said I was.
 
I have no advice for the way you are feeling, I do know what it is like to feel as if noone is listening, that is why this forum will be a great place for you.
 
good luck to you
Teresa
 
" So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes. Don't say goodbye."
Song: Hold Her Closer
Blessid Union of Souls
 
 
" True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained."
Unknown


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/6/2007 12:01 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Megamerli and Welcome to HealingWell! yeah
 
I know what you mean about collecting lame ducks. People are always coming to me with their problems and I spend so much time fixing other people that I forget to fix myself. By the time I remember myself, the problem is twice as big as I have left it so long.
 
All your physical symptoms could be psychological. (In as much as they are linked to a psychological disorder). Have you asked your doctor about this? Do you suffer from anything else which could be causing them? For example the skin problem could be a severe allergic reaction to something that is around you constantly such as your washing powder.
 
I hope you find all the support and help you need here. We are all very friendly and there is usually someone around to listen when you want to talk.
 
Best Wishes
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


Megamerli
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/7/2007 2:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for such a warm welcome! It is a help knowing there are people out there who understand how I feel.


A friend of mine is often heard to say 'Ooo, I could write a book!'. I have often thought it would be a way to exorcise some of my demons, but truth being stranger than fiction by far, who would really believe my story. In brief, I was raped as a very young teenager. When I was 17 I got married. 6 weeks later I had a 6 week prem baby boy. 6 weeks later my husband indulged in the ulltimate rejction - I had to identify him where he was found the next day. 12 years later I re-married and took on 3 step-daughers. All the kids are grown up now, with children of their own (8 of them). When my son was 30 he came very close to dying of the same blood disorder which killed my mother and I had a severe breakdown at that point. My husband has become an alcoholic, and has suffered a heart attack. At age 45 a so called family friend attempted to rape me in my own kitchen when everyone else was upstairs sleeping - including his then girlfriend. I didn't tell anyone for more than 2 years. Flash forward, and an elderly friend I walked into his living room and found him . I had to deal with the aftermath, including doctors, police inquest, funeral and all the other legal stuff as he had no family. This year another friend tried - he survived the attempt, but didn't escape the biggest ticking off of his life! (He is much happier and settled now, thankfully, the crisis seems to have passed.)



No publisher would print it!

I am sorry but I had to edit your post due to rule#1 of our forum. We have alot of younger teens that come on this site. I hope you understand.

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 7/7/2007 6:42:40 AM (GMT-6)


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/7/2007 5:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Mega
Wow you have been through so much in your life.
I am so very sorry that you have had to deal with all of that. And I really hope you are able to find some peace in your life.
Are you in counseling? I am a firm believer that in order to heal you have got to deal with the mental part of depression which is something that the meds can not do.


Stay strong

shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


Megamerli
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/7/2007 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry folks - my last post was perhaps too explicit about my history - like I said, I'm a total novice at this!

Hi Shy

I am not really the whining individual I might seem, just sometimes I need to find someone who understands!

Had a year in counsellng. Helped, but at the end of the day it is probably down to me to deal with my own demons.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/8/2007 4:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Mega
No one here thinks you are whining. After all that you have been through it is a wonder that you are even able to talk about it.

We are all here to help you,and you will see that there are alot of caring people that will be there to hear your story.

It is going to take you awhile to heal that is for sure.
And dealing with your own demons is probably the hardest thing that you have ever went through. I just started dealing with mine about 2 years ago..(basically when I started this site) I to this day credit this site for helping me. Take advantage of it when you can.

Stay strong.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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