Depression has brought me to hell and back

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Rick Roma
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 7/8/2007 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   
  I have always suffered with depression off and on all my life... as I got older, a few years ago depression came back with a vengeance.... I was going through terrible panic attacks -- a crazy fear of everything.. an uncontrollable restlessness, couldn't seem to keep still. Feeling suicidal.  Again, I was on all kinds of medications.... Lexapro was one of the new ones on the market I was anxious to TRY... unfortunately it was A disaster , it was killing my stomach constantly being nauseous... started to lose lots of weight... my doctor said try breaking the pill in half and try to persevere maybe the symptoms will, eventually disappear... no luck...  and there were others that made me feel like a zombie..... until finally.  My doctor put me on LORAZEPAM...3 a day in combination with Adivan ......I felt , this was not working, until finally after five weeks.  I started feeling more like myself again.... for me, this combination has been a godsend for the last two years.  I was told they can be addictive... and so be it I have gotten my life back again..... I feel like I have control now.  I can laugh I can feel sad also.  But in a more normal way.....
 
                           Richard -- PA
There is a special church here nestled deep
in the forest.... a beautiful bell hangs at the very top.... it only stops ringing.  When you come through the forests for your voice takes its place....   Richard


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/8/2007 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
sad  Rick~
I am glad to hear that you are being successful in your treatment for your depression.  I cant imagine having a break for all the years that you were fortunate to have experienced.  Unfortunately, depression has a way of rearing its ugly head when you least expect it.
 
I wish you continued comfort and peace during this time of remission with the big D.
 
 
Teresa
 
" So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes. Don't say goodbye."
Song: Hold Her Closer
Blessid Union of Souls
 
 
" True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained."
Unknown


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/9/2007 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Rick
It took awhile for my doctor to find the right combo,and you are right it was a godsend when I finally started to feel better.

I am glad that they found the right one and that you are feeling better.

Depression is so hard to deal with and we have to be strong everyday.


Keep us updated,a success story is always needed on this board.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
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"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/9/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Lorazepam is an anti anxiety med.  It is a benzodiazepine.  Ativan is the brand name of lorazepam.  I don't understand what combination you are on.  They are both the same thing - lorazepam is the generic and ativan is the brand. You should check with your Dr.

Rick Roma
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 7/9/2007 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
sorry Aurora..... I meant to say, a combination with SOLOFT.... I guess you were thinking I am really over dosing..lol you certainly know your medications. But it's been helping me a lot in the last two years... my doctor wanted me to try the 100 mg of zolof but I have always stayed at the 50 mg.... I think a few years ago with my mother passing.... was extremely difficult.... she was the head of the house so to speak... and then some health problems, one after another. I think started things in motion... I fight depression with all I got... I find that using a treadmill for about 15 minutes.... gives me a temporarily up lift... I think life is worth living. If there's something to live for. I have been fighting depression all my life, and it's a battle a battle I hope to win.......
Richard -- PA
There is a special church here nestled deep
in the forest.... a beautiful bell hangs at the very top.... it only stops ringing.  When you come through the forests for your voice takes its place....   Richard


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/9/2007 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Depression always drags us through hell. I often tell my wife that she didn't open the gates of heaven and let me in, but opened the gates of hell and let me out.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

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djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/10/2007 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Richard,
 
Zoloft is a good drug. I have heard of many people on this forum who have used the med with positive results. I think your determination to win should be commended and I wish you every success; I know there are people out there that do win. Exercise is a great way of giving you the boost and if you do it regularly enough, then you will find that the period of time leading up top the exercise also gives you a boost simply because you train your body to feel that way so to speak.
 
Best Wishes
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/10/2007 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Rick,

I hope you didn't think I was coming down too hard on you about the meds.  I also take lorazepam and an anti depressant called Remeron.  These really help me.  I also suffer from panic attacks.  I know how depression can really get one down.  I have a lot of family issues I am dealing with right now so I know how bad depression can get.  Sometimes I get so lonely I just want to cry all day. The excersize is good for you.  Excersize releases endorphins in the brain which help you to feel better so keep it up.  There is always something to keep going for.  If you are down today just tell yourself tomorrow will be better and try to do something that will make you feel better.  Last week I went to a movie by myself - the first tiime I have ever done that.  The movie turned out to be sad but I was proud of myself for getting out of the house and doing something.  We are all here to support one another.  Take care.

Aurora


Rick Roma
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 7/10/2007 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi AURORA..... I really appreciate your encouragement. You have a wonderful outlook, in spite of your family issues that can be distressing -- I haven't been to the movies in ages it's a good source of entertainment. But definitely look for the funnier ones... that will definitely be on my agenda -- to go see a good movie.

Richard -- PA
There is a special church here nestled deep
in the forest.... a beautiful bell hangs at the very top.... it only stops ringing.  When you come through the forests for your voice takes its place....   Richard

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