Does it ever get better?

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wizzer120
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 7/10/2007 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   

Post Edited (wizzer120) : 7/12/2007 12:39:31 PM (GMT-6)


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 7/10/2007 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome back, Wizzer!!
 
I so totally can relate to how you feel.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I don't get to see my psychophamacologist, but once every three months, which just isn't cutting it.  I know my meds (Wellbutrin, Clonazapam, Lexapro, and Buspar) are not doing it for me.  I've been on the same things for a long time, and I don't think they are working anymore.  My mother thinks I would be so better off if I got off all the pills.  That makes me crazy.  She wouldn't be functioning now if it weren't for her Paxil and Lorazapam.  The difference is that she feels the change when she takes her meds, while I don't feel anything.  I can take two of her Lorazapam and not feel the slightest change, where if she took two, she would be asleep for two days.  I don't know if I need more medication or just different medication. 
 
I try to make an effort to get out and do things, but I have so many medical problems, I usually feel too much like crap to leave home.  I joined a local club, but the main meeting is only once a month.  So far, I've missed the last two meetings.  I missed the one tonight because my back was in real pain.  I irritated it last night in the ER, when I was waiting to be treated for a migraine.  Needless to say, I feel like crap because once again I missed out on a good time.  I just couldn't get past the pain and lack of energy to get there.  Well, there's a party Saturday night, so maybe I can make that, but I'm not holding my breathe.
 
I hope my commiseration hasn't bummed you out.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  Let us know how you are doing.
 
Leigh Ann cool

Basic info:
  • On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 42, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin,  Phenergan, Chantix,  Iron Pills
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/11/2007 4:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Wizzer

I am so glad that you are back,and that you are able to express how you feel. That is a huge step in healing I have found.

It is normal to become a good liar..that comes with depression. We walk around and smile,fake laugh because we don't want anyone to know how we really feel. Our pride takes over with strangers it seems.

I have dealt with depression since I was a child. I am now 37 and can finally wake up and know I am safe.

I had to make drastic changes in my life though to come this far. I had to move to a different city. I had to let my ex husband have full custody of my son who had become so violent that I feared for my life many times.

Last year I was sitting outside with my boyfriend and I realized that I was ok. It took me by surprise believe me.
It was a long road getting here and I still struggle with the depression and anxiety attacks. But I am have been med free for 3 years now and work very hard to stay that way. Believe me though there are days that I just want to give in.

I am telling you this because I really believe that it just "hits" you at once. It is almost like your mind and body releases the depression after all of your hard work.

You will wake up one day and be ok. It is going to be a long haul and there are days that you just want to give up.But you have to be strong and try to pull some type of positive out of the days.

I remember locking myself in the bathroom and crying for hours and then finally falling asleep on the bathroom floor. I remember not answering the phone for days,or calling into work for a few days because I just did not have it in me to face anyone. I hated myself,I hated my life and I hated everyone around me.

By being able to come to this site Wizzer and telling us what is going on with you,and then offering your advice to others in need,I really think that is a HUGE step towards healing.

Please stay strong

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


kisses_from_cat
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 7/11/2007 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey
Wow too many of us feel this way it seems.  i loved how you wrote how you're becoming a good lier.  i totally know where you're coming from.  that's probably one of the worst things of depression...pretending you are fine when you're probably the farthest thing from it.  i dont know...from my own experience and well, realistic thinking, i don't think depression ends.  it sounds so negative, but i guess we should all prepare for the worst.  i have my good days and my bad days, but whatever day it is the past still haunts me.  its horrible because we cant change the past.  we are all depressed for a reason, whether you know the reason or not.  nothing will change that reason, so how are we supposed to leave the depression behind us?  i've been better mood-wise the past few days but im still as hopeless as ever. 
Its not really realistic to believe one day we'll wake up and it will all be over with. 
Its a sad truth confused
It just gets easier when we know how to fight it. when we gain some strength..some day
Good luck
On a positive note, we're always stronger than we think we are.

Puffy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/11/2007 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I deleted your whole post due to rule #3 of this forum.


3. No posts that attack, insult, "flame", or abuse members or guests. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun off, or insult another member. Decisions about health and well-being are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.


I apologize to everyone here for not catching this before now.

Shy

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 7/12/2007 5:23:15 AM (GMT-6)


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 7/11/2007 8:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Puffy2,

Aren't we Miss Merry Sunshine?  This is the Depression Forum , thus it contains posts from people who are depressed.  We come here to vent when we need to, and to try to boost our friends when they are having a bad day.  There is no room here for criticism.  We support each other, not drag others down.

If you can't relate to us, because you aren't at our level of depression, keep your opinions to yourself and shuffle on back to the asthma forum.  Just because you can't relate, doesn't make your observations of our posts any more valid or superior.  There is a forum rule regarding criticizing others, or "flaming"...it's not allowed.  Perhaps you should read the rules for making posts again.
 
And just so you know, if someone casually asks "How are you doing today?, I respond something like "I'm lousy, but thanks for asking."  Total honesty there.  If I feel like crap, I feel no responsibility to patronize someone else by blowing cheery wind up their skirt.  If I feel like crap, I say so.
 
Now I don't wish to waste any more of my time responding to your negativity.  Other people here need my attention.  Go read the rules and come back when you can be supportive.
 
Leigh Ann cool

Basic info:
  • On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 42, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin,  Phenergan, Chantix,  Iron Pills
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 7/15/2007 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Wizzer,
I'm sorry this person made you feel that you needed to edit and delete the content of your post :( I don't know what was said, on either end, but your feelings are very valid and I hope you're not too hurt by what Puffy said.
Female, 21, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia from long term prednisone use

Currently taking 5mg of prednisone (down from 40! Almost done...)
10 mg Lexapro
Waiting to start back on Azathioprine...

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