It just seems like things are getting worse

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snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 7/14/2007 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had one thing after another .It seems like it`s never going to end.
I do not want to go out anymore i stay inside for weeks at a time .
Last weekend we went away for a couple of days .After my sons death i just couldn`t even talk to anyone i still haven`t said much to anyone all i seem to do is cry everytime i think about him and i just feel so awful with what has happened .
I just feel as though i`m living a lie nothing is real anymore .As the days pass it`s seems to be getting harder and harder .
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/14/2007 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Restless,
 
I cant imagine anything worse than losing a child and it must take a while to return to "normaility". I think it is perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do, even now. It hasn't been that long since your son died and you need to give yourself time to grieve properly. I think you are being very hard on yourself, expecting yourself to be superhuman when you are a mere mortal. Have you tried making yourself go out? Perhaps once a week to start with and then building yourself up slowly? It could be walking the dog or even just walking to the shop for a pint of milk. The healing process has to start somewhere but dont try and rush it. Grieve "properly" and allow yourself to move on properly. Im sure your son wouldnt have wanted you to put your life on hold just for him.
 
Have Strength
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
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Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 7/14/2007 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi restless,  You have had so many things happen to you in your life...I am so sorry you have lost your son.  I cant imagine how hard that must be for you.  I have to agree with Darren that your son wouldnt of wanted you to feel this way.  I wonder if you have considered grief counseling?  There are even support groups for this and I think you would really be surprised at how healing it could be and knowing that others feel the exact way you do.  It would get you out of the house and maybe even make a few friends you could lean on.

Stay strong


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
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snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 7/14/2007 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou Darren and Els a great part of me died with this boy he was the world to me but i hadn`t spoken to him in three years he left home and would not have any contact with us ,it has been a really hard time for me i was the one who stood by him as he struggled for life in those first few weeks and have always been there for my kids .I just feel as though i`m being punished for what has happened .Mike never knew the pain i was feeling especially the day he laef home it has remained with me and is now trippled .I `m not ready to talk to anyone atm i will see my psychologist at the end of next monthe when she is due to come out here again ,I never imagined life could be so cold and hard .
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 7/14/2007 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Restless~
I am so sorry for your loss and pain that you are going through.  I usually answer with I know what you are going through but not you, i cant imagine losing a child!  I am so very sorry. 
 
I know how bad my depression is without a life altering experience such as what you have gone though.  I makes my problems seem so small.
 
Just know that i as well as everyone else here care about you!
Hugs and prayers
Teresa
 
" So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes. Don't say goodbye."
Song: Hold Her Closer
Blessid Union of Souls
 
 
" True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained."
Unknown


LG
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/14/2007 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Im truly sorry for your loss
and i know there is really nothing i can say to comfort you or make your situation any better but just letting you know im here and am just another person out here that cares and would give you a hug if i could!
although this doesnt compare or make me any better at relating my mom did have 5 miscarriages, 2 at full term and i know that was extremely hard for her so i cant even imagine losing a son...
my prayers and thoughts are with you
-LG
Through my weakness He is stronger
Burning for God forever
 


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 7/15/2007 12:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I just feel as though i have lost him for the second time .The first when he left home three years ago .but now know i will never get to see him again .When he left home three years ago i always lived in hope that he would return each day saying to myself that i was one more day closer to hugging him again .That i will never do again .I just have so many questions that will never be answered now .I will never know.
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/15/2007 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Restless,

I know exactly where your at and I feel so sad for you. There is nothing that I can say to make it better. People told me time would make it easier but time only numbs the pain, it is always in your heart.

The support group was a good idea if your ready.  The one I know the most about is  The Comapssionate Friends. I am posting their national web site and on that site there is a link to find local groups.

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

I know you were a good Mother  so please do not blame yourself for what has happened.  We have such great hopes for our children but they are our dreams.  Our children don't always have the same dreams.

Gentle hugs and prayers for you.


Respectfully
Kitt
 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*

Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 7/15/2007 8:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you very much Kitt i have looked there but can`t find a local one in my area but will look on the web and see whats around here .
I don`t know how it will numb in time this is a great part of me i have lost it `s really hard to describe how i`m even feeling now .
HUGS .
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/16/2007 3:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Restless
Please remember that we are all here for you as much as we can be.

Stay strong


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
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www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 7/16/2007 3:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Shy so many times i have tried to write emails to menbers who asked that i email them but i`m just lost for words and some i have manage to write have been returned i`m not sure what i`m doing wrong atm but will sort it out .
I really appreciate the support given by all in this site it has been of great comfort to me especially in these past few weeks .
Thankyou everyone so much .
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/16/2007 3:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I understand that...the words will come when your mind and heart are ready.




Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.
www.healingwell.com/donate


www.myspace.com/ShynSassy315

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/16/2007 2:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Restless,

Dont worry about writing all these emails. You dont need any more pressure that you have already. When you are ready, the emails will write themselves. Until then, concentrate on getting yourself back on track.

Big British Hugs

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 

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