Lonely and Sad

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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/21/2007 7:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey All.
I really hate to post about myself as usually I don't get more than one response which then just dumps me futher down. But right now I feel I need to try.
 
I am feeling sad and so lonely, no one calls, no one emails me...no friends to go out with. I have been trying for almost 2 years to get past the lonely feelings but they come back. My hubby is an introvert and we have no friends. He is gone now til Monday fishing with his folks.
 
Why me Lord? I don't do well alone in this sadness.
 
"Only the lonely Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely Know this feelin aint right "
 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


Singer69
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 7/21/2007 9:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

I don't like being alone, either. It's something that I've had to work on. I have had to get more comfortable with myself and focus on things that make me happy and/or productive. If you are able to detach from needing other people to be happy (not that that is a horrible thing, but you need to be able to handle being alone when it comes up...as it will), you will seem more alive and confident. Put yourself out there (job, classes, community service) and you'll meet people. Volunteer at a charity and you'll find that other volunteers are usually really nice people and they'll draw you in with their kindness. You'll make friends in no time. I have no doubt. Obviously you are a kind, considerate human being and that will show.

I really hope that I'm not coming off as someone saying that it's easy, why can't you just do it. I know it's not easy. You've probably been told these things a million times, but sometimes (I know from experience) you need to hear it one million and one times before it finally sinks in and you are able to do something about it.

Take care, and I am thinking of you and will keep an eye out on your posts. I'll post a reply!!!

Rick...
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

~ Lyrics from "Daughters" by John Mayer


wizzer120
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 7/21/2007 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hugs for you Kitt, I'm glad that you can say this out loud, I know where you are coming from. I don't want to patronise by saying join a club or something but it really can help spark some new friendships, so might be worth a try?
I am a fine one to talk though - I totally lack the courage to make myself do that sort of thing! I have these big ideas but don't seem to be able to follow them through. Maybe you could try an online club of sorts?

I am starting some voluntary work next week for an animal charity, I am sure that I will meet some new faces there, so again, maybe community work?

And you always have us here!! I'd reply to any of your posts/mails.
You have offered a great deal of support and comfort to the people in this forum, and just because you are a moderator doesn't mean you don't need a bit of encouragement/a shoulder too!
Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing
Big Hugs
Wizzer

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 7/21/2007 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Kitt,
I feel loneliest in a group of people cuz they seem so carefree and "together" and I'm talking about folks I consider friends as well! I'm seldom alone as I have my mom with me almost 24/7, but sometimes I think that's not good cuz I always feel the need to be on my "best behaviour", that is, acting like I feel okay when I feel like a 4 letter word. Of course, she's seldom fooled. That causes me some stress. Sigh. I wish I had an answer for you, me and everyone here. Life can be so hard.
All I can say is that I really feel for you and know that I care!
hugs,
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/21/2007 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Singer and Wizzer,

Thank you, I appreciate your answers more then you can know. Sometimes I just get scared and feel like no one even knows I am here.  But I have made some great strides and I know I need to keep moving forward.

I have lost so much in my life, but losing my son to a car accident was the hardest thing. A bad day can bring back all the memories and the pain is overwhelming when I have no one to turn too.

I now know I can come here. Helping people is what I love to do, that is the nurse in me.  I have applied for a part time position at our new YMCA as an attendant..............bottom of the pile job, but I want to stay low profile. I do not want the stress of being in a management position anymore. I just want a simple life and to feel happy.

Again thank you so much.


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 7/21/2007 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Kitt,
I've sent you an email huni, you're doomed now, you'll never be lonely again:P

All jokes aside, I'm here whenever you need an ear.

*huge gentle hugs*
Gem
XxXxX
Co-moderator in the: Cystic Fibrosis Forums
 Woe to the child which when kissed on the forehead tastes salty. She is bewitched and soon must die.
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Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since 11th Nov 05


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/21/2007 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I too understand what you are feeling and it is very hard.  I hate to be lonely and alone at home.  I get very despairing but I have managed to do a few things to keep myself from sinking too far.  I always have several books that I am looking forward to reading - ones I know will truly hold my interest.  I also have a needlepoint project going and that can take hours to pass the time.  The one thing I always try to do is have at least one friend I know I can call if the lonliness gets to unbearable.  Do you have someone you can call?  The other things I do are go to a bookstore and spend hours looking at the books.  Even if I am alone there are always many people around and i don't feel so alone.  I also have a garden/gift shop I love and just go there to browse.  Even a few weeks ago I summoned the courage to go to a movie by myself.  That was a big help.  I know it sounds easier to talk about doing all these things than actually going ahead with something but hopefully you will be able to try one.  When I feel I can't take it anymore I will call the depression hotline to have someone to talk to.  And of course you can always post here - we all care and want to help.  I hope you will be feeling better soon. 

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/21/2007 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Janet, Gem and Aurora,

Thank you for your responses.  I feel so much better knowing there are people out there when you need them.

You are all special to me as Healing Well has be a godsend and the people I have met on the site are so caring. 

I am not feeling so alone after reading your supporting posts.  I am thankful.

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/21/2007 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Is that your idea of 1 response Kitt? tongue

Joking apart, I am always here if you want me. I know how hard long weekends can be on your own. Is there any news of your volunteer work? That might be a way of expanding your social network

Big British Hugs

Darren 


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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Singer69
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 7/21/2007 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Like Darren said, it looks like you are gettting more responses than you expected, huh?

Glad to be there for you - just send an Email.

Rick...
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

~ Lyrics from "Daughters" by John Mayer


tangerine bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 941
   Posted 7/21/2007 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Dearest Kitt,

You always answer my posts in the anxiety forum, and are so wonderful and helpful... I hate that you are suffering. I guess we sometimes forget to thank the moderators for all the help they give... You are wonderful, and you deserve so much happiness. I hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated.

(((Big Hugs)))

Bear


"It's a jungle out there....." 
Theme song from "Monk" by Randy Newman
 
OCD: Obsessive...Compulsive...Diabetic
 
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/21/2007 7:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Wow, I am overwhelmed............you are all so wonderful.  Thank you for letting me be able to ask for help and receive such a great response.  This morning I felt so alone and tonight after your posts, I even went to the local Rivertown Days Parade. I jumped in my car and said get out there. 

I love being on the giving  end and now I know how it feels to accept a wonderful, caring gift from each of you.

Thank you is a very tiny word, but it comes with a huge helping of gratitude.

Gentle Hugs to all


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 7/22/2007 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Kitt,

(((((hugs))))) You are so wonderful.  You have been so supportive to me.  I too feel like I'm going to lose control, or get scared when my bf is away.  It's like I can't handle it.  I'm okay if I'm not depressed.  But when I'm depressed, it's not a good scene.  Sometimes I'll even be feeling okay, my mood will either be high or at least better, and if he has to go somewhere, it puts me in a state of depression and things become scary.  It is something I fear and want so badly to change, but how?

So needless to say I know how you feel.  I don't have any friends either.

I also know how it feels to be rescued by the support of HW.  Just over a week ago, I posted a desperate cry for help in the Bipolar forum, and it was answered (it was so amazing, overwhelming in the best way) and totally got me through.  The support from HW seriously got me through the crisis.

Good for you for getting out, I'm so proud of you for that.  Also couldn't be prouder that you posted in the first place.  Don't ever hesitate to do that.  We're always here.

Hope you are feeling better, and I will be keeping my eye out for you.

PS. Just something to add...When I posted that cry for help, I was severely depressed.  I kept my computer on, kept HW up on the screen and took a nap in the spare bed in the computer room that day.  Just knowing that everyone was there in the room with me, on HW, made me feel like I wasn't alone.  It was very comforting. :-)


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 7/22/2007 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
 
I hope you are feeling better today.  Even when you are having a "down day" you are still trying to help other people.  It's good that you were able to make yourself get out of the house and go some where last night.  That's great!
 
Take care!
 
Carla

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/23/2007 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Mogs,

Hi there and thank you, I could take a nap in the computer room too. Never thought of that but what a great idea.  I don't know why things can be good for weeks and than boom.  I always tell myself I am not alone, but the feeling is there and then the tears start and it is on to guilt and insecurity  and sensitivity all ruashing at me at once.

I so appreciate everyone here and it is truly a life saver to be able to be a part of HW.

Thank you for your support.

Dear Carla,

What can I say, thank you is such a small way of trying to tell you how much I appreciate you and I am better today.  Yesterday I just stayed in the moment and came here, looking at the many people who are in need and felt gald that I could be here to support and share myself with others.

You are such a gentle person and you understand people well, don't ever lose that trait.

Gentle hugs dear lady.

Kitt


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


Drconnoisseur
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 102
   Posted 7/23/2007 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, I've only been on the depression and A/P forums for a couple of days now and you've already helped me several times, and I thank you so much for that.  I don't really have any new advice that hasn't already been given, except...Have you thought about getting a dog or other pet, if you don't have one already?  I don't know if you're a pet person, but my dogs have helped me get through all sorts of stuff, and keep the lonely away, too.  They are so joyful and enthusiastic about life that it's hard for me not to smile when I see them.  And it's hard not to feel loved when you have a creature that lives its every breath for you, and climbs the walls with happiness when you come home.  Plus, caring for someone else and having someone else need you is very therapeutic, I find.  I don't think I could live without a pet in my life.  If you like animals, and don't have one already, maybe you should consider it.  Hope you're feeling better.
29 yo female with two fuzzy children: a Pom named Snuggles and a Pom mix named PomPom.
Health History: Type I diabetes (19 years), allergies/asthma, hypothyroidism, osteopenia & multiple fractures, iron-deficiency anemia, Crohn's (of course), and depression (go figure.)
Crohn's History:  May have had it since I was 11 (1988-89), definitely have had it since I was 15, was diagnosed when I was 25 (2003), was un-diagnosed in 2005 and re-diagnosed June 2007.   


#Angel#
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 7/23/2007 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
To my dearest mum kitt
 
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
I hope you are feeling better.  You mean so much to me. 
You know i am always here for you.  I send you messages and think about you alot.
 Take care
 
Angel xxxxxxxxxx


           Love and hugs
 
             # Angel#
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/23/2007 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Drconnoisseur
Thank you so much for the kind words.  You have helped so many yourself and I am greatful for having the opportunity to meet you here.
 
You are right.........about pets, I have two dogs.  My babies are 2 Female black and tan Dobermans.  One is old and arthritic but through my deepest depressions she stayed by my side. I would sit on the floor and hug her while I cried and she never moved. Her name is Dee, for D'Oblique. The second one is younger and her name is Morgan and both are retired show dogs. Dee is the grandmother to Morgan.
 
Not only do they keep me company, no one would want to break into my house nono . The girls are quite protective.
Again, thank you so much.
 
Angel,
 
My adopted daughter accross the ocean, thank you for just being you. You lift my spirits with the ecards you send as they always put a smile on my face.
Love
Mum Kitt
 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 7/24/2007 3:26:37 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/24/2007 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
LIl sis
You knows I love and adore you for being YOU

I am so sorry I have been outta whack as you know will try to get on to MESS tomorrow so we can yak and ya have to email me number again ....

Prolly on 15 papers by now sis lol

Love and huggs to you

YOU GIVE and GIVE to all here
YOU ARE SPECIAL to us ALL

Loves
Big sis
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/24/2007 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey it is so great to have a Big Sis, even if I am older than you. lol

You know I am ok and with this wonderful group to reach out to I can get back up on the horse.

I want you to conserve your energy for the tough things you are going through so never worry, I may be down from time to time but I won't break. 

Love you back and would do anything to help you.

Gentle Hugs and thank you for the constant encouragement.

Lil Sis.


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 7/24/2007 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Angel,
 
Look at you, you're able to jump in there and try to help your Mum Kitt when she needs you.  When you call her your Mum it reminds me of a  student from India, Naveena who used to work for me.  We got to be very close.  She graduated several years ago and moved away, but she stays in touch on a regular basis.  She calls me her USA Mom.  She got married a couple of years ago and she says she will let me know just as soon as they find out that I am going to also be a USA Grandmother.  Those relationships are so special.
 
I know for Kitt to hear from you when she's feeling down probably helped her more than anything.
 
You take care, Angel.
 
Carla

Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, hypothyroidism

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