Good Morning and I am sorry your feeling so awful.
I had 4 children and I know what you mean, I would sometimes just sit down and cry as I was afraid I might smack one hard as I felt a loss of control. Here I was a Mother that could not control her own children.
Remember this is your mind playing tricks on you, your a good Mom and no one said you had to be the Hallmark Mom, that is only in their greeting cards.
Perhaps you could sit down and write a list of all the positive things about yourself. Stop the negative thinking and when it starts picture a big red stop sign.
I hope this helps you in some small way. Please know we care.
I am here to support you so be kind to yourself.
Gentle Hugs from one Mom to another.
Shy - thanks for your message - I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! You must have been very patient dealing with a bipolar son. I really worry about my moods and how they affect my 6 year old daughter. She is so 'streetwise' already - warning her 3 year old brother 'Give mum some space now Sean, she has a headache!' Oh goodness - what am I doing to her? Thanks again for your support xx
Slowlygoingcrazy - love your name! That is me too! It sounds awful but thank-you for seding me your message - it is such a relief to know I'm not the only one out there who is struggling and feeling like I'm going mad!! Waffles, a visiting dog and plants too!! Scream if you want to - I often do!! I hope you have had an easier day today - I have had some help today from my mother-in-law, but even that has been a strain! Your message made me feel that someone understands - thank-you xxx
I understand how you feel - trult I do. At least you rang a helpline for help -I hope they did! I haven't the courage to ask for help. I just do as you said and wait for the days when my husband is off work and then he takes some of the flak. I can sleep too in the afternoon and recoup some of my lost energy. Screaming fits are common in my household - but usually between my husband and I. I am so sorry about your son - betraying your trust is a fundamental thing - you need to be able to trust him - he doesn't see that does he?
I'm tired and lost too - but maybe together we can work our way out of this. What help are you hoping to get for your son? Are the weekends easier because your husbands home?
Have a relaxing weekend - hugs xx
faithfully4you - I so agree - we have been cheated by depression - I find each day a challenge - some days I can cope - some days I want to curl up and die!! That sounds harsh but I find some days unbearable - we have been to a farm park today (I live in the UK) and we did SO much and I am so tired but my husband has just said "You can do the baths tonight!" Well - he can do the ***** baths I'm telling you !!
After much discussion - he's doing them xxx