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#Angel#
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 7/30/2007 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
 
I have read posts saying how good you think CBT is and how it is the best approach etc.
 
Please can someone help me as i am currently in CBT (for depression) and i am finding it so hard.  It is one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life.
 
I started it at the end of feburary - beginning of march and it has been a bit inconsistent (due to the therapist being ill and me having problems with my kids)  but i feel i am stuck as i am finding it really hard right now.
 
Can anyone share with me there thoughts and experiences as i feel there is definatly something wrong with me because of this.
 
Thanks xxxxxxxxx
 
           Love and hugs
 
             # Angel#
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/30/2007 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Angel,

I did a different form of therapy but I know many people here swear by CBT.

Hopefully one will post and talk with you about CBT and what it is your stuck on.  I am sorry you are stuck but very happy  to see you reaching out to the members of the Depression Forum.

I did a search and here are some of the posts about CBT, perhaps one of them will give you some insight.

www.healingwell.com/library/anxiety/info2.asp

www.healingwell.com/library/anxiety/info1.asp

You are a wonderful person and you will make it..............please never give up. We are here for you, and you are supported and cared for here. Accept the hugs and prayers being sent your way.

Love

Mum Kitt


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 7/30/2007 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Angel,
 
I'm bipolar (depressed right now)...CBT is extremely helpful.  I was in a support group for bipolar and you're right, the CBT is very hard.  But I will tell you the secret to succeed with it.
 
Time and practice.
 
Seriously.  All of the CBT exercises I had in my group and use today for coping, take a lot of time and practice.  The fact that you had some inconsistency wouldn't help at all.  The thing with CBT, you have to keep up with it, until you get it, and can use it.  I understand all the inconsistencies though...those things happen, so it's okay, just try to stick with it and practice as much as you can. 
 
The other thing, when people in my group were having trouble with the CBT, they would get so frustrated they would want to give up, or they wouldn't be able to focus b/c it was just so hard.   And b/c some days the symptoms of our illness just don't allow us to focus on such a difficult task...Plus they cloud our thoughts, it makes it all so hard to do!  Ask your therapist questions if you need help, or post a question.  I do know a lot about CBT skills, so I might be able to help.  I am sure others can as well.
 
I made a decision to turn to CBT when I went off meds for my bp and honestly I find once you grasp how to use the tools, they are more helpful than the meds.  Because CBT gives you control over the illness.  It really really does.
 
I hope that helps, remember if you're having difficulty with it, just ask.  I'll keep my eye out for your updates :-)
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 7/30/2007 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
See there Angel, you've reached out and you've found someone to help you.  And you both may be helping someone else.  You're getting stronger already.  Just keep working on it.  Remember, you are working your way to your freedom.
 
Take care!
 
Carla

Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


#Angel#
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 7/31/2007 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all your replies.
 
At the moment in CBT i am having to do a thought diary.  I have to note down all my negative thoughts and then work out what distortion it is and then write down a better more healthy way i can put it. Try and turn round my negative thoughts.
 
The problem i am having some of the time is the working out what the distortion is and most of the time turning it around to a better, healthier thought.
 
I have got a list of distortions and there meanings, so i have that in front of me when i do it.
 
I feel really embarrased and ashamed about this as its taking so long.  My therapist would tell me off for that last sentance and tell me to try and turn it around. Yes i could turn that around but it is just not going in...........
 
Does anyone understand what i am going on about???
 
I have had about 11 sessions with my therapist.  I just think it should be going in by now.  And yes there has been some missed weeks due to illness etc.
           Love and hugs
 
             # Angel#
 
 


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 7/31/2007 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi again Angel,

So glad you posted--this is actually one the main exercises I was thinking of when I was writing to you yesterday.  In my group we called them Mood Logs, and they are SO hard.

I just want to point out what these thought diaries or mood logs are helpful for.  That way, it has purpose for you.  Your therapist has probably already explained...But the times that this is most helpful, is when there is something upsetting going on in your life.  We all know stressors are a huge triggor to our symptoms, so it is important to get the stressor under control.  By writing all of your thoughts and sorting them out, you will be able to know what is really true and what is the distortion.  The reason that is important is b/c depression is what is making our thoughts "not right" or negative.

This does not mean that the stressor does not exist or that you have to make it disappear with this exercise.  The point is to see the actual problem clearly, so that you can deal with it effectively.  You do need to turn your thinking around and think of these things differently so you can feel better and deal better.

Keep working with your therapist on this, it takes awhile to get it.  The list of thought distortions helps me focus on turning my thoughts around.  You may find it easier to simply practice on your thoughts throughout your day.  When you find yourself thinking something that you feel is negative, try to sort it out in your mind.  Then write it down if you feel that will help more, it usually does.

Just remember it's kinda just about seeing things clearly....You should be so proud of yourself for working at this.  Really.  I hope it gets easier for you.  Sorry if I was no help and made things more confusing for you, post again if you have anymore questions.


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/31/2007 3:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Angel,

You go girl, your on your way, one step at a time. Mogli's explanation even made sense to me............ eyes .

I am so proud of you always but today is a special day for you. Kudos to you my daughter accross the ocean.

Love

Mum Kitt


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 7/31/2007 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogli,
 
Thank you so much for helping Angel.  With your help, she is really making progress.
 
Good luck to you also!
 
Carla

Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 7/31/2007 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Angel,
 
Look at you go.  You are flying like the Angel you are.  Maybe Mogli is your Guardian Angel sent to help you with this assignment.  Usually those assignments in recovery that we find so difficult are the ones that benefit us most.  Please keep going.
 
Take care!
 
Carla

Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/1/2007 6:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Angel,

I hope you are feeling well today.  I wanted to add something about CBT.  about how doing all of those exercises, helps me now.  When you're learning how to do them, you follow the process exactly.  And like I said before, you practice it, over and over.

Because I learned how to do these effectively, now I can automatically think differently mostly without going through the actual thought diary exercise.  (When I'm really struggling it helps me more though to write it down, like you're doing now.)

It just helps me battle my symptoms.  Because now when I feel the depression coming on, my mind will think of ways to cope, to manage..instead of beating myself up, or allowing the symtpoms to consume me.  It helped me become more of a fighter.  Before I learned these skills (and there are different ones) I would follow the weakness of the illness.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes depression is so strong and painful, that it can still consume me for awhile.  And that's okay, because sometimes we have to just accept it when we're not well, and instead of trying to overcome it right away, we need to just take care of ourselves until it lifts or passes.

Anyway, I'll be looking for your update.  :-)   Another day--no problem for helping out, I am so glad to be a little help.  That's what we're all here for :-)


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


#Angel#
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 8/1/2007 2:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for your help.  I was really nervous about starting this post.  But i am so glad i did.
 
Anyway, i have trouble writing the situations down (i know it may sound strange).  I can write and write things down like i am having a conversation with someone, but when it comes to just putting down the situations i struggle with it.
 
Also the different distortions ( Assuming, overgeneralizing etc) I cannot for the life of me remember exactly what is what.
 
I also forget to write the situation (feelings) down when they happen and then a bit later when i go to write them down i have completly forgotten what has gone on.
I do try and write it when it happens but it is not always that easy.
 
I can also remember my therapist saying to me the longest he has ever worked with someone is 24 sessions,  well we have done about 11 and i am no were near there.  I know he has said that he works with people for as long as he thinks is needed.  But i am worried and embarrased that i am going to top that.  I dont want to be see as the worst....
 
I know it is probably all in my mind but i cant help it, i am trying to turn it around......
 
Thanks again..
           Love and hugs
 
             # Angel#
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/1/2007 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   

HI Angel,

I am just here to support you and to tell you your doing great.  The others will help you with the CBT.

I know you are working on this hard, but please, don't worry about the time frame.  Everyone is different and you will learn this, I do not doubt that.

Just keep on keeping on.

Love ya

Mum


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 8/2/2007 1:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi angel,
 
I think its great that you are doing this and that you are making progress. As for topping 24 sessions, i'd wait until your at 20 (at least) before you worry about that. Besides, as long as you get better, who cares how long it takes. This is a personal journey... dont let competitiveness cloud the path.
 
Take Care
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/3/2007 4:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I honestly believe you are making progress and like what was posted DONT worry about time frame

I did the online CBT and for me it has helped out tremendously

Stay strong and Mogs you are an asset to the forum and a great help to your fellow sufferers
Thanks for being you

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/3/2007 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Angel,
 
Definitely don't worry about the time it's going to take you (or about the time you have spent thus far) to learn all of these techniques.  I still don't get it all right, especially when I'm depressed (like today).  sad   I find it really hard to do anything when I'm feeling this way, but because I learned some CBT there's now a little voice in my head saying "Okay, today's a bad day, so what can I do to help myself?  What is manageable for me today?"  And on days like this, if I am stressed, if there are things that are upsetting me or on my mind, then I am going to try to sort through them--so that I can bring some relief to my symptoms.  I can do that by those thought diary exercises, or by writing in my journal or talking to a friend.  I make sure that I try to change the negative thinking; recognize that the depression is making me feel certain things.
 
But like I said before, sometimes this isn't all possible during deep depression.  That's when I need to accept that and do things to just take care of myself.  
 
CBT of course comes in many forms.  There are exercises, and then there are more subtle things, like what I mentioned in the first paragraph.  For me CBT means "doing" something to help yourself; "doing" something to fight the illness, even if it's just a little something.  Just something that is manageable, because it's important not over-do things.  Before I learned CBT, days like today would be scary for me.  But now all day, even though I am not well, I'm going to be trying to get myself through the day. 
 
To remember the distortions--it's going to take time b/c our memories I think are a bit challenged with meds/depression...Just refer to the definitions you were given...I always have to have that list in front of me to know which ones are which.
 
The situations--I'm not quite sure how your therapist is having you do this exercise, but when I learned it, mostly the situation was something that was a stressor (I find that is usually pretty easy to identify)or something that I am thinking negatively about, a lot.  I'll give you an example of a negative thought/feeling I was experiencing...Before I left my job, I was having a hard time with my manager.  She made me feel like I wasn't good enough, that she didn't like me.  It made me feel really bad about myself (that was the situation)  But the fact, the truth, was that I was one of the hardest working people there.  I followed all the rules, never did anything wrong.  I didn't miss work and I also went above and beyond, doing things outside my job description.  I was an excellent employee.  Once I wrote all of that, I would read it over before work and eventually I was mostly thinking about how wrong she was, and how proud of myself I needed to be, everyday.  Before I did that all I could feel everyday was how bad she was making me feel....
 
Anyway, sorry for long post, hope that helped a little.  You have tons of time, you can do it!
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/3/2007 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Lyn,

Thanks so much for your kind words.  We all need to lean on each other through this awful stuff.

Take care,

Mogs


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--


#Angel#
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 8/3/2007 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and thanks again for your kind replies.  It means alot.
 
I had therapy yesturday and i was on a high.  I have been for a few days now.
 
But i could feel myself gradually going down.  I have been trying to help myself.
I can remember my therapist saying to me yesturday that i had done well as after all my depression is steered by my feelings.
 
I have remembered that and i am feeling really emotional at the moment.  I am feeling really pathetic and stupid because it sounds like i could have prevented it all from happening.
Its my fault, i am the way i am.
 
I realise that i am probably not thinking straight but that is how it feels.  If i sleep and dont wake up i cant have any thoughts..................
           Love and hugs
 
             # Angel#
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/3/2007 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
My Dear Daughter Accross the Ocean,
 
Picture the big red stops sign I sent you. :)  This is not your fault you are the way you are............I want the credit for you being so kind, gentle and wonderful.  yeah No one wants to have depression or anxiety, not me, not you or Lyn or Mogs but no one asked us so here we are all in the same boat.
 
Thank goodness one of us is always able to row the boat while others struggle with the anchor.  Pull hard on that anchor as your pulling youself back up.
 
Your right, your thinking is just a bit off right now, but you had 3 really good days.  That is fantastic.
 
I am sorry that I have been not on much but I think I have caught up now and I promise I will be online tomorrow.  I want to hear about the new pets.
 
Special Hugs to you my princess.
 
Love
Mum Kitt
Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 8/3/2007 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Angel,
 
You have had so many good days in a row and you have made so much progress, please don't let one bad day get you down.  I am so proud of you.  A lot of times recovery is two steps forward and one step back.  And like the others told you, do not worry about the time line.  It will take you however long it takes you.
 
I've been a bit depressed myself lately.  I've been having more seizures and I'm scheduled to go back into the hospital on August 17th for a four or five day EEG and some other tests.  I had this done last August.  My neurologists thinks there may be something besides the epilepsy going on, so I'm a bit concerned.  If you would, please put me on your prayer list.  I was just diagnosed last August and we haven't been able to get the seizures under control yet.  I try not to whine about it too much. 
 
So, I plan to make myself get out of this house tomorrow and do something!
 
You continue to take good care of yourself!
 
Carla
 
 

Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 8/5/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Carla. Dont let one bad day ruin all the wonderful progress you have made. You have come so far since I first got to know you and I am proud of you for that and you should be too. We all have bad days... let them blow over your head

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/5/2007 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Angel,

These members are so wise.....do not let a bad day spoil the good days.  Revel in your accomplishments. You are the best.

Lots of hugs.

Mum


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 8/5/2007 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Angel,

You have been on my mind a lot.  I hope you are feeling better and that you were able to enjoy some of the weekend.  You are such a strong person and one day you will see yourself that way, the way we already see you.

Please take good care of yourself!

Carla

 


Epilepsy, severe adult onset asthma, allergies, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism

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