Questions about therapy

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/7/2007 3:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been in talk therapy almost every week for the past year and a half.  There is no doubt that I've made progress as I see my relationships differently and I'm prioritizing myself.  The thing is I feel stuck and I don't feel that I've been making any progress lately and/or it isn't happening fast enough.  I have chronic low self-esteem and I battle with depression, even though I take Wellbutrin, and I haven't seen improvements in these areas.
I've had the same therapist throughout my therapy and I'm wondering if I should find a different therapist to help me move past being "stuck".  I like her, she's been helpful, but I don't feel any relationship with her, which is kind of strange because I've been seeing her for so long.  I've opened up and shared with her but I haven't gone all the way and I don't want to.  At the same time, I want to share everything with someone so I can feel some relief.  I'm confused about whether my reluctance has to do with my weak bond with her or is it all stemming from the reasons I'm in therapy to begin with.  Sometimes I think that I might make more progress if I had a male therapist, since bonding with women is difficult for me (I'm female), but that could be an excuse.
I think she's a good therapist but I don't have anything to compare her to.  Does anyone have any words of advice or things for me to consider?  Any input would be appreciated.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/7/2007 7:02 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey yellow, Welcome to healing well, we are glad to have you join us. 

There are several things I can think of for you to consider here.  One, you can ask your primary care physician for a referral to another therapist.  If you only have this one to compare to then perhaps that may be why you dont feel much benefit from therapy.  Keep in mind though that it is always a gamble when you do change.  There are some therapist's out there that are not very helpful...that is why you may ask your doc who you should go to.

Second, there are some people who have depression that therapy just isnt effective for.  I can attest to this.  I have had depression forever it seems and spent many times and lots of money on counselors/therapists unfortunately only to come out just the same.  What really pulled me out of the depression was my PCP referring me to a psychiatrist who changed my antidepressant straight off and stayed on top of it. 

Whatever the reasons for you being in therapy are or the reasons for depression...some dont even need to be able to feel comfortable with your therapist.  Make no mistake here, not many would walk in and spill their guts on the table.  So your holding back is common but, is it because you cant talk about it? or because you dont want too?  They say therapy works if you work it...meaning you or we have to do all the work which is so very true.  Maybe what your holding back you can try writing down and take it with you to your next appointment...if you feel at that time it is right give your therapist your letter, if you dont feel it is then dont give it to them.  BUT at least you got those feelings/thoughts out.  That is some of the best therapy you can give yourself.

I am sure other members will be along to post responses & suggestions to you.  Hang in there and know that we are always here...keep posting.

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 8/7/2007 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Yellow,


The feeling of being stuck is really a frustrating one.  I share that frustration, I am having issues with that too.  I'm not sure what is the right decision for you.  Els, brought up some great point of possibly switching therapists.  Do you think this is at all related to the meds you are on for depression, maybe there is something there that can be looked into.  I myself am not truly sure of what all anti-depressants help with.  Well I hope that you have success getting past your block, explore your options and try to keep positive. 


Take care,



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 8/8/2007 4:38 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there YellowHead and Welcome to Healingwell!

Elisha has hit the nail right on the head. There are loads of things to consider before you start to change your therapist... and one of the most important (IMHO) is considering whether the gamble is worth it. There are some unsuitable therapists out there and you can risk getting one. That said, there are also some very nice ones. See if your friends or family have any recommendations.

Big British Hugs


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
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Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/9/2007 1:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, everyone, for the words of encouragement and great suggestions. I am going to try being blatantly honest with myself and writing down why I'm not comfortable talking with my therapist. I am also going to explore a change in medication, although I've tried a few and they made me tired. I haven't tried any of the herbal options so maybe that's the way for me to go.

I really appreciate your support. Its hard to live with depression when no one understands how you feel and why you're unable to change. Changing the way you think sounds easy to do - I mean, you're in control of that, right? Well, it isn't so easy, but I haven't given up the hope that one day I will be happy. Thank you for your help.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/10/2007 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
This site really helped me to start to heal. It is amazing how being able to express yourself and have people understand can ease your mind.

Please keep us posted.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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