Oh Aurora! I am so sorry things are so bad for you right now . I wonder if maybe your trying to put your goal of getting through to next Monday a little high? I understand that you have an event of the weekend coming up that your dreading but, today is only Tuesday and focusing on the weekend, what you might or might not do and being alone without your boys isnt going to help you one bit. The crazy thing about time is that it is always the same, it is just our preception of it that changes it.
I too can get bad anxiety about certian events so I have to concentrate really hard on not stressing about tomorrow or the next day. My goal is always to focus on today and let tomorrow come as it will. It has helped my anxiety greatly in that area.
Hold on sweetie, you know you always have HW to come to...
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
I am sorry you are anticipating a bad week-end. Any chance you can just stay in the moment and not worry about the future. Remember the week end is only two days, so let the tears flow and then write a list of what you are going to do this week - end. Concentrate on how you might put a smile on someones face.
Write some cards or notes to mail or email online cards, they are fun.
Play computer games, everything is online and I like Canasta and the Trivia games.
Go to the store and buy some fresh in season fruits and make yourself a treat. Take a short walk in a park.
Wash your car. Go thru your closet and if you have not worn something in the past year bag it up and arrange for one of the agencies to pick it up. I am partial to Eplipesy Foundation myself and they pick up curbside.
I am sure others will have some ideas for you too. We are here so keep posting and know we care for you and support you.
Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 9/4/2007 4:31:11 PM (GMT-6)
I know how it is to be lonely. I lost my husband a year ago and I've have depression/anixety. I live in Colorado Springs. My children live in California and grandchilren in Denver. I found that volunteering is a wonderful thing. I help people, meet people and get my mind off me. I started a rose garden and joined the Rose Society. We do volunteer work a the Horticultural Art Society. I volunteer at the library and I crochet afghans for the cancer center at the Memorial Hospital. I feel so much better now. It's hard to get started, but keep trying. Lots of luck, Dee
Thanks Dee and Carla,
I am a volunteer at my local senior center and it is very rewarding work. I have met new people and they also have good programs to attend. Most are much older than me but that doesn't really matter to me. My problem is not during the week. The center is not open on week-end and evenings and those are my rough spots. I do have plans Fri night with an old high school friend and i'm still trying to plan Sat. It is just the nights alone in the house that are so lonely. There aren't too many people to talk to if any. I think if it gets bad this week-end that I will try calling a hotline. They may be able to help - at least it is someone to talk to.
I recently took intensive training for hospice volunteer and was assigned a person I was to see tomorrow. The last 5 days I have been running a temp 101+ so I called my doctor and she said no way should I be around a person who's been in hospital and could be carrying diseasese I could catch. I have a chronic disease which can lower my immune system. It's not contagious, but don't know what this fever is.
I've been communicating with the coordinator by voicemail and she checked with the hospice doctor who said there's no way this woman could give me anything and my doctor doesn't know what she's talking about.
I thought there would at least be some concern for the poor woman who is dying, in case I would give her something.
Anyway, what I started to do to help get me out of myself has turned into a nightmare. I feel like Iv'e failed and let hospice down. And the coordinator hasn't returned my call of yesterday, so she may be expecting me to be there tomorrow. She's on 24 hour call, so don't know why she doesn't call.
Feeling tired and useless!
Sorry Aurora, after I finished and submitted my rant about volunteering, I realized I was really not too helpful or encouraging. Others were telling you what an uplifting experience volunteering can be and I kind of threw cold water on that and didn't mean to.
I intend to find some other things to do that don't involve the dying. If my doctor had know in advance I was going to do hospice I know she would have said no. But there are other things I might try while I'm getting better. Maybe tutoring, sorting things at our Neighbors organization. Not sure what, but first have to get well and get over feeling like I was beaten up my hospice coordinator.
I know what you mean about dreading the weekends in advance. They're the hardest to plan for since it's a couples world especially on the weekend. There are only so many dvds to watch, walks to take, church in the am, and then there's still plenty of time to be all alone and oh so lonely!
Aurora, I was wondering if you have any pets? Like a cat or dog?
I live by myself and I have my fat (shhh, dont tell him I said the f word it makes him upset) cat Normandy, who also goes by Normy or Sluggo when he is really lazy and wont move out of the middle of the floor. So moody. Anyhow, just having another presence here is calming to me. I talk to him but he is a talkative cat so that makes it interesting I guess. Pets are great therapy and help so much with loneliness. Dogs are good too if your able to keep up with them, the best thing is that they never ask for anything but love and affection.
Just trying to throw some ideas out there for you
Thanks Jennie and Elisha for your concern. I do have 2 dogs mini poodles and they are good company. I just wish they could talk. I know how hard it must be for you Jennie being in a new city and one so big as NY. Do you have a job where you can meet people? How about others where you live? Maybe you can search thru the newspaper and see if there are any organizations to join. I don't know if you are religious but church is sometimes a good place to meet people. A church usually has some organized groups. I wish I could give you more suggestions but i'm at a loss myself. Keep posting and know that everyone here is very caring and will help you as much as possible. You can write a post and I will answer you. Take care.